I found you in the shadows of that smoke stained room.
Your hair was blue then, what a shock
against the grey of lakeshore avenue.
You were the vision of a sparrow's wing
Unhindered by the choking fumes.

You find me today, sun beams flaring out from a cruel arched brow.
What a picture i must have made then
In comparison to now.

Somewhere along the way our softness seemed to delegate itself,
job rotation of the pessimistic.
I still imagine the way naivity tasted on your lips-

Chocolate dipped dreams. I could hear your voice for hours on end,
And still call you again at 3am.
Now every tone is under the line
of a jaded cat's whiskers.

I am impassioned, every word
Enflates my spirit until
It is too big. You are taking
Out that thin steel pin
And looking for the best spot

You want to let that heavy sadness in.
I know it well, I remember the
Way it felt to love her. So warm,
but now the new day calls-

And you are clicking closed the shutters
While i am throwing on my runners.

If you won't come with me I'll go alone

You turn out the light
You say "go"

Every grassy field
In the middle of the day and at the end of the night
With your baggage galloping circles around us
All those car rides
With melodies that sound like that forbidden word
And silence that swallows shaking wrists
Your skin, your lips
They feel the same as country skies
My eyes
An ocean that you swim, still mastering that cross stroke

I ache to unlock that door of your mind
I know that every receptor is golden
And every lobe glows violet
Our brains
Always intercepting, collapsing under memory's warning
It seems we'll never give in

Just as you look away
Just as I'm learning to lock myself out
That solar heart exposes us
Descendents of icarus will always need more
your veins
They run with the same fire as mine

I have a plan
I want for everything real, I want to take a bite
Out of the whole world
I want to absorb everything bright
And reflect it at a higher wattage
I dont waste my time on silence
I dont beat around the bush of modesty

I know when I need to grow
I know the right time to dive
And the right time
To give up the gun

I've finished hiding behind dignity
I see no point to playing coy anymore
My vision blurs when you enter a room
I won't pretend I dont know what that means
Not when i rely so heavily on my sight

So go ahead, let it tear us apart
I've found the cure for a broken heart
In poetry and sad songs
And a sunset soaked lake
So here goes

Even if I told myself I'd never say it first
With the feeling of that moment
Spent between the cliff and the water
Even if it means no more good mornings
With the feeling of your hand on my thigh
I am afraid
But i think that makes me brave

Harsh is the human spirit, sharp winds along the winter's eve
Definition at its edges, wholey green with greed
Turn the vulnerable to capital, profit off their needs
What weakness lays in love, harrowed skin's adoring insolin
An addiction
A disease

We wait for the excuse of liquid courage.
Pretend your lips on my pulse
don't feel better
than the blood pumping through.

In the dark I can almost taste-
the way our energy jumps
from palm to palm.
The way the sun's Ray's line
my questioning mind.

In the black of 3am,
your hand finds my thigh
and the ceiling above us
is washed in oranges and pinks.

I'm always, always thinking-
at least vaguely-

Do you see it? Do you see it?

How the words silhouette in mauve
across my laughter.
Collapse in periwinkle
Under your lashes.

Do you see it? Do you see it?

All that color-
Flowering in the shadows.

5am. The birds chirp
in cerulean blues.
But your car is grey,
And you're putting on your shoes.

There is that sourness in the form of a word
Displacement of all efforts
When you look into the blanket folds
And readjust to privacy

Who am I when I'm not tucked
into your shoulder blades?
What is mischief if you're not laughing?
And tenderness too-

For that I always looked to you
And i still do