Everyday I might have tried
Maybe I almost always give up
wired to downplay my own wins
skeptical to actually rise
My soul knows how to scream
“they have to see me suffer”
refusing to learn
unlearning my gift
Tasting my own bitterness
I don’t like it here but it’s already home.

silence echoed
thriving on survival
I'm afraid I just began
Who am I to leave this world
anyway, gasping for air
full of shame, just ungrateful
was it the lack of expression
brought too much guilt
i can feel it in my back
i haven't done my best
yet im already tired
unreal, unsure, uninspired
i couldn't own this space

All ears
done making up stories
just to forgive, unfreeze

not be left with I should have’s
hoping, waiting, it carves
“Glad I did” a gesture that loves

All scream
done holding the steam
just to hear myself, dream

stop myself from thinking
forced myself, I’m feeling
accepting, moments that sting