times like these are always hard
when mismatched emotions could lead into permanent scars
you hold my heart in your hands
& the softness of your touch
carefulness in your endeavors
speaks of a truly kind soul
one that understands the labyrinthian inner workings

all the intricacies and soft dances of love
run through my mind as you aid me in closing my wounds
yet i feel that even if i suture the last cuts myself
a heartbeat for you will still be heard
for what soul could pretend to be deaf
to the careful considerations
that soulful choir
of your own heart.

i lay on my couch
taking in all the words we exchanged the evening previous
feeling them swirl around my insides until i come to a definitive feeling

god, oh god, do i want so feverishly
to take my right hand
softly place it upon your cheek, my thumb resting on bone
and replicate with the left,
thereby setting the stage for the next act.

our eyes locked as they shut
heads tilting oh so carefully to the right
and as our noses interlock
a moment of hesitation before -

wet. gentle. but firm.
passionate.
an explosion inside my heart
as all of what will occur past present and future
fades away for one brief moment
wherein we become singular.

but i shall not ask.
my will of patience and kindness
supresses the desire within
until the day comes when i can get my wish.
to see our lips locked tight
a dance of love in our hearts.

the edges of your mouth curl upwards as you smile sharply
and the deep ocean of your eyes shines as they lock with mine.
through the windows of your soul i see deep, profound sadness
yet a yearning for more
surely these feelings are reciprocated, yet
building something upon the rotten foundations of past, would only mean this beautiful thing would be sullied.
so I'll wait for you.
true love waits.

every day in your presence feels like a river
the smooth movements of bodies in a beautiful dance
and though i fear my dischordant want for more may disrupt this flow
the harmony that exists will become whatever it is destined to be
regardless of my individual wants

but quick, before i forget the feelings of this year let me say,
thank you. for teaching me i can love again.

the four words you said to me,
12:30 AM, as we sat in my car
my throat dry from an hour proclaiming my love for you.

not the right time, not the right day.