when i was a child;
i would wake up excited
for the days to come;
for what it had to offer;
but these days,
I'd rather choose to
drown myself to sleep
than to face my tragedy
of a reality;

I want to be viewed as strong from what I’ve overcome
I want people to realize I’ve persisted
I don’t want your sympathy
I don’t want to be viewed as a broken person
I am strong
I am not a tragedy.

Outspoken but not obnoxious
Kind but not weak
Friendly but not obsequious
Deep but grounded
Loving but discerning
Intelligent but not pretentious
Focused but with perspective

You smile with your heart, not your face
And I will always smile back
Giggling like a tickled baby

I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.