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Oh, how id like to transform
Let my body disappear into something else
Or someone else, granted im safe
Just to feel the difference
A transformation for the better
To be, and venture as guiltless and free
Like a bird swaying from tree to tree
Like a hare bouncing among the field 
Like a person who cannot feel
Born of a wealthy family,
A child pampered and needy,
He started making his own ,
Left him spoiled and very greedy,

He felt he wanted more,
A woman in his life,
Someone to call his own,
To someday call his wife,

He left in his flashy car,
Searched for the perfect score,
But I had no idea,
He'd begin to ring my door,

I answered in a flash,
As an instinct from my heart ,
Led me to the boy,
who would use me from the start,

He liked the way I'd smile,
I was the perfect pick,
Such an easy target,
As I answered far too quick,

Forgot that with his money,
I was the perfect toy,
Never to be enough,
For the needy wealthy boy,

Just let him count his dollars,
For someday he will see,
That even with all the green in the world,
He will never afford me.
Our fingers graze
      As I pass his cup
            My eyes meet his
                      
                            He smiles.

                                       Seduction is subtle.
I was drowning.
I dont swim.
But I jumped into the sea.
As I trusted some fraud.
And I was drowning.

I found hands around me.
Trying to push me up.
But even in the middle of ocean,
Those hands were all over me.
Disgusting.

I looked around one last time.
Pleading with my eyes for life.
Not far away I saw him.
The safest looking boy on earth.
Swimming to himself.

I thought I knew him.
A friend of a friend.
I grabbed him and clung to him.
Clung for my not so dear life.
I was afraid to die.

He must have been perplexed.
I just hung to him and blabbered.
I wanted him to save me.
Take me to shore, to family.
I just cried in his ears.

He just started swimming.
Swimming with all his might.
Really mighty  he was.
To grab a fighting me and swim.
Without ever letting go.

I gasped,cried and struggled.
I complained,wailed and raged.
I was hysterical and shocked.
He just continued to swim.
Never giving in to my tantrums.

Many a times I pulled him down.
Kicked him as I was trying to breath.
I pulled his hair and scratched his body.
I  pushed his head down and gasped.
He just kept on saying "Not far now"

He did take me to shore.
He gave me his breath.
He made me throw up the sea water.
He made sure am dry and warm.
He smiled at me and I felt safe.

Then only I noticed he is so grown up.
Not so much of a kid as I thought.
He extended his hand and told his name.
I sat there bewildered as I was wrong.
He was not my friend's friend.

He looked at me mused and smiled.
May be he thought I didnt follow.
He turned and walked away slowly.
I sat there watching and grieving.
Then I sprang up and followed.

As he is the safest friend on earth.
The water pulls back and forth,
It's wild and calm and beautiful,
I want to live there,
In all of that controlled chaos,
I'm leaning against the golden rail,
The lights are shining behind me,
The musics humming in my ear,
People pass by me,
They try to interact with me,
But they don't interest me at all.
All that ocean air is wrapped in my hair,
It's curling at the ends,
I'm suffocating in the smell,
I swear it'd be the happiest death I'd ever see,
Now a hand is on the small of my back,
I don't dare turn around,
His contact against my skin
feels just like getting lost at sea,
His scent and the water,
The whisper of his voice against the wind,
My knees are buckling,
I'm on stilts a thousand feet tall,
Is my temperature really rising,
How does he do this to me?
I pull closer to the cool rail,
I use it to balance myself,
I try to seem calm and cool,
But everything I love is standing on both sides of me,
And I'm wanting to let go,
Falling rapidly into them,
But his arm goes around my waist,
I'm sinking into his hand,
I'm doomed.
He's right there staring into the water,
Leaning against the railing,
The boat has us both a little unsteady where we stand,
But I've never been so planted,
I've never loved like this,
The blue eyes I've came to know so well are shining against the waves,
Then they look at me,
For a moment I lose it,
I cling to his chest,
A chill runs up my spine,
But I'm so warm,
Right there in his arms,
I'm floating along,
I lean in to savor the sensation,
Then with the wind,
There his ghost is gone again,
I lean over the rail,
I did everything to be in his arms again,
Then into both my loves I go,
It's the happiest death I came to know,
Because without him I'm nothing,
Together we're a wave in the ocean,
The high tide on the shore,
Something wild and new,
Don't morn us,
Just look for the boat on the horizon,
That's where we'll be,
Together.
HER even lines her steady temper show ;
Neat as her dress, and polish'd as her brow ;
Strong as her judgment, easy as her air ;
Correct though free, and regular though fair :
And the same graces o'er her pen preside
That form her manners and her footsteps guide.
 Oct 2012 Angela Alegna
Kris
Trials and Tribulations.

Miles and Hesitations got me struggling and tussling to hold on to you.

It's like I have to convince you that love is worth fighting for and money is nothing but dead gluttonous men that we can spend or save. Let's not spend but save up to get up and out. I want up and out of this town full of memories of you but lacking the subject of my subjected poetry.

Our future can be picturesque. We are just being put to the test cuz God has a plan for me and you. We have been tried and turned out true.

Sad and blue your eyes weep while I smile faintly in the distant memory of your cerebral time capsule. Time is moving Slow Slow Slowly down the river banks and ports of seas that part us with waves and waves of salt and Poison.

Water got me feeling heavy so I break down the levy with my sonnets and rhymes, trying to plead for time to speed up so we can grow up and get out. Grow up and bust out to any place with a name that is far from that which we came, where nothing is the same and we can just be together in the metaphors of a summer's breeze.

I'll put your mind at ease with the calming flow of poetry and the strum strum humming of my guitar as I lull you to sleep and watch your face so serene and at peace. And I kiss your soft lips goodnight as i hang up our phone call and place my head adjacent to my pillow and meet you in my dreams.
The time I have spent wallowing in the mud of pain is over
it's time to get out, clean up, and move forward

Caution and conformity caused me little pieces of myself over time
now, with basket in hand I'm picking up these flowers of myself, regaining spirit

Today, I'm walking the orchards with my friend
taking in all that blossoms on the trees, all that blossoms in love

Maybe, just maybe if I risk and throw caution to the wind by night fall
he will be mine, and it will be my eyes he will drown in forever

Just maybe, letting go of the fear of moving forward
will leave me  naked and in love

May we all have our dreams come true inside these nights of a summers dream
I won't be on for awhile and wanted to share why:D  Love to all!
Until you have lived a blinded life;

Mistaking the voices of others as your own.

Until you have been shackled by chains of hesitation;

Unable to liberate yourself because you do not know of your own captivity.

Until you have become numb to the world around you;

Where pain becomes necessary only because it affirms your already deniable existence.

Until you and I can come to the realization that all we ever wanted was to understand.

Until you allow yourself to be consumed by the silence; finding comfort in emptiness

Until you lie in the dark for hours, questioning why you are still awake.

You will never know how it feels.
To be alone.
I don't have perfect hair
I'm not 6'2 & 190 pounds
I don't have bright teeth or a six pack
my eyes don't shine through a darkened room
and I'm far from photogenic
I forget more things than I remember
I have no special skills or discernable talents
my skin is pale and full of holes scars and ink
I feel uncomfortable out of place & awkward
in almost almost all social situations
I'm slightly paranoid & always afraid someone somewhere
is judging me
I rarely get anything on the first try & I often lose faith
before I accomplish what I've set out to do
I'm my own toughest critic & believe that
I'm average at best if even that
I may not be all that I'm supposed to be
but I might be everything you may never find
in someone else
so with all of my flaws faults & shortcomings
of which there are many
my heart still beats
and I can still manage
to love you all the same
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