Im sitting here drinking the only liquor that I've ever seen her get
Listening to the song that I showed him that correlates to everything about us and our time together. I want to get away but i don't feel like moving.
I want to cry but I can barely bring myself to feel a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ a ****** thing. And then, thinking of all the things that I'd like to change in my life, for the life of me, I cant figure out h̶o̶w̶ where (when?) to begin.

Picking up bottles is so much easier than not doing so. The weight of it is nonexistent. No matter the amount within, no matter the content. the bottle goes up and comes back down, physically, at least just a bit lighter than before. But nontheless, the bottle is weightless to its almost but not quite unsuspecting victim. the worst part is when the drinkee already knows. instead of physical weight within the bottle, they feel the mental weight within themselves. 'This is a game that you will not win. but you will play, regardless.' and play it i will, i suppose. how else am i going to get it to shut up. get it out of my damnned face. get out of my doggamn head.

Breath. collected yet irregular.
As if im walking through the air.
With you, I have no care.
Have you realized how special you are?
To me, with you, the storms are a breeze, the oceans-- at ease. No sunburns to be found, feet planted on the ground.
                With you around, all I get is
                                sun-kissed.

It wasnt on purpose.
I was in a rush.
I bled everywhere.
There was blood all over my work.
I was weak.
I was hurt.
It wont happen again.

Or at least they wont see it.

youre such a bitter person. have you
always been this bitter or did I do
this to you? Im so sorry. And I cant
say it enough. And I say it way too
****** much. My heart misses yours.
I miss your smell. your touch. your
laugh. your goofy *** faces. I miss
you. I miss your everything. All of it.
The anger, the crazy, the delusion.

                    you.
                                are everything to me.