You know. How when. Wait. Is it just me. Nah, im sure im not the only one. People are weird like that. Unique. Just like EVERYONE else.

I digress. You know. When you play a game. Or read a book. For long enough. And you start to identify with a character. Like "yeah, thats totally me out of all of the other characters." And then. And THEN. you notice yourself picking up on the mannerisms and speech pattern of theirs.

Im at a good place. Why do i want to destroy it.

Well at least im not crying anymore.

I loved you. And you hurt me. You COULD have cared more. You could have tried harder.

Truth. You probably could have.

Maybe you didnt have the capacity.

Maybe you couldnt have.

But you should have.

It could have been better.

It should have been better.


If i meant that much to you why did you hurt me?

I said to myself, in my head, "im only gunna take TWO shots." I lied. I lied to myself. Well i guess not. Not yet. But. Im so close to taking that next one. I really want to. How long has it been.

I feel like ive been thrown in a loop. Like idk when it happened. But.

So like. I was talking with a friend today. H. And so.

We were talking about the universe and dying and ****. And. "Like i get what you mean" but. Nah. So. I explained what i heard once that was really cool. So. I compared them by saying. "Like, yours is a circle. And mine is like a loop." Yours. It goes around and around and around. No beginning, no end. Okay. Fine i guess "see your point" BUT mine. Like. Its a loop. Little loopty loop. So. You start out and then you cross at one point, like the beginning and then you keep going. Like it diverges. Untill you cross again at another point and then you go to new parts again. I. What was i saying?

I digress. I need a new notebook. I hereby decree. That this will be the first page entry thing of the next new little book i get. Yay.