-closer-
i want to hear your THOUGHTS
-unfiltered-
as your stomach turns to KNOTS
-grit-
your teeth until your jaw ACHES
-spill-
all your secrets when your brain BRAKES
-tears-
holding back but gather SHAMEFULLY
-regret-
those thick strong walls fell so PAINFULLY
-weights-
off your shoulders and now on your HEART
-pieces-
stolen from you like valuable ART
-emotions-
replacing the air you start to DROWN
-overwhelmed-
your body has begun to SHUTDOWN

im just tired
of the ****** consequences that
are just side effects to -life-

and im wondering
does pain really go away
or are we just finding new ways to -hide-

do you notice
that every time they ask if we are okay
we nod our heads as we turn the other -way-

can you hear me
screaming through my glossy eyes
because i can never find the right words to -say-

we grieve that we cant find ourselves//yet are perplexed as to when we actually became lost in the first place

sacrificed my own sanity
to live among humanity
expected humility
i guess that comes with reality
always ending in tragedy
resulting in insanity
forgetting my own identity
what happened to diversity
i guess that i will never see
the product of creativity
escape a safer fantasy
isolated in captivity
no remnants of community
where emotions become a disability
everyone losing touch eternally
only here temporarily

i was told that if i knock on your door
that you would answer with open arms
so i knocked
:no answer:
i knocked again
:no answer:
so i left for a bit
maybe you were busy  
or it just wasnt the right time
when i came back i knocked once again
:no answer:
you had to be there
i knocked until my knuckles got numb
:no answer:
i was told you were always home
my knuckles began to bleed
if you are there standing behind that door
then why dont you answer
:no answer:
cant you hear my cries for help
its raining now
or maybe thats just my eyes
im beginning to doubt that you are even home
am i even at the right place
i begin to pound the door
:no answer:
my arms are starting to feel weak
im on my knees begging
that the door would open
:no answer:
do you even exist
because if you do then what have i done
was i knocking too much
or not enough
too hard
or too quiet
:no answer:
i was determined now
to have you answer the door
days turned into weeks
weeks into months
and months into years
i now knock only once in a while
:no answer:
the knocks became less frequent
i cant remember the last time i knocked
i tried to knock again today
:no answer:

my blood
is like honey on bones
it drips down
like an ice cream cone

everything that we go through
is just a side effect
of what we went through