I had a dream today
About someone new
In that dream I was touching
someone other than you

She woke up with bright lights and a broken heart
she fell asleep dancing and careless,
Last night  she was drunk on your love.

She spent so much time running around chasing fragments of memories and feathers of hope,
that she  had forgotten what she was looking for,
and that was home.
Home had been driving around with her for days now,
his tired eyes smiling back when she would glimpse at him with fear,
his hand cupped around hers.
He was her home,
no matter where she had been.
He was her home no matter where she'd go.

today you leave our lovely little life we have built from ashes burned from our past.
like a phoenix we rose, we made it our own.
today you leave me, kiss me on the cheek good bye, you are flying away to greater things.
but you see, all i had was you.
your dreams are much too big to have me in them.
mine are mediocre and you make up half of them.
you can have my ashes too, to make you fly higher and farther away.
ill stay, and keep burning.
incase you come back one day.

there is something to be said
for a sadness you can hear
it is mostly made up
of a lot of sounds lacking
the sound of silence
before you fall asleep
the sound that
you're alive
but forgot how to breathe
there is something to be said
about the sound of giving up
and how you suddenly hear everything
when you've realized you're done
everything all at once
so deafening
you can barely get up

quietly falling apart
the most renowned form of art  .
i muffle  my sadness so you won't hear through the phone
a piece of me breaks each time you change the date you come  home  .
my life slow weaves around you, adjusts to your dreams
while your life lets the dandelions grow over my needs  .

holds herself while she cries,

a false sense of security

do you remember the days
we watched planes,
take off from the water with such ease
and the loved poured from us effortlessly
do you remember the ocean mist in our eyelashes
and the way you held me in your coat,
to protect me from the cold
do you remember the silence on the peer,
you said it was so quiet you could hear me smiling
do you remember the happiness we felt,
when you were back on the coast,
together we made home
we built it with the  warmth of our souls
and our tangled fingers
and our longing bones
you left me on this dreary coast
waiting for you to build our home
i can't build anything alone
let alone when i'm cold

you are so tender and selfish,  

when you  keep calling me sweet things,

after you tell me you can't have me.

I am so willing to keep feeling,

that I just smile through the lonely,

and desperately accept pain.

You tell me a well rehearsed stock answer, when I ask if you love me

You can't even use the word love, to say you don't have any.

Please don't call me anymore, I don't need your selfish thirst for my soul,

   when you can't even make me a cup of tea.

You get so jealous when i dance
yet never bring yourself to take me
(i don't know what you think I'm capable of)
you hate that i drink when you leave
you don't understand
you leave me with bottled up agony
i wish i were perfect like you
so composed and righteous
i wish that judgement was so easy
to slip off my own tongue
and drop into the heart
of the one that i judge
i wish you weren't hurt by me
not being an island like you are
i know you wish i was solemnly far
from every threat to you.
i wish i was the one with the dreams.
and you stayed home yearning for me
i will always be second best
to your very subtle selfish mess
you do  not let yourself feel pain
you avoid it its etched in your face
you fell in love with a girl earnest and real
you can't choose which traits i get
i am not one of you're planned balanced  meals

the void of your voice sounds like  the smoothness of satin rubbing on my skin feels
the lack of you sounds like  hints of honey and sweet sayings that drip down finger tips
the memory of  your laughter is muffled, and  takes the rhythm of my heart beat as it echoes quietly
you are an intangible
beautiful ghost
that was once my home

what if,
i had said less
and listened more
what if,
i had accepted you
and showed the way i adored
what if,
my hands were enough to fill yours,
what if,
you had no reason to search for hers