"Darling, you don't have to break open my rib cage to hear my heart,"

she whispered as she slowly unfastened his red hands from her jagged chest.

she gently lay his head  on her ****** breast, "listen," she said,

"it's still here you don't need to hurt me to make it beat for you."

she closed her eyes and smiled weakly.

she let the loving pains set.

i am vain
     and,
                   explosive

i am  jealous
      and,
                      insecure.

She said i went to sleep thinking of you.

With the bitter taste of loose ends in the back of my throat.

She said i went to sleep thinking about how I'm more lonely with you than i was by myself.

She said i went to bed thinking about the empty glass globe inside my diaphragm,

You used to fill it warm loving liquid,

and now it chimes and echoes in the cruel hollow ways only glass empty things do.

usually words   s p u t t e r,
but your
              dilemmas
make me
             unforgivably...
                                         *speachless

is what you repeat to me.
But what you are communicating to me
All the I need you to be’s
All the I want you to be’s
All the please baby pleads
All this communicating is key
In reality
Is me changing to be
What you need to see
But what i am not meant to be
And all this communicating is key
Is contridictory to what you believe
Yes. it is a key.
To a door in my heart you have closed
To a brittle locket now froze
Now we sit here in silence
Two islands
In an ocean of pride
And unspoken lies
And I-wish-you-had-tried’s
And i-don’t-want-to-cry’s
And my-hope-has-now-died’s
died
died.
Now our eyes flicker to each other’s faces
Like a candle’s flame thats seen too many places
I hear the air escape from you lungs
And it makes this war endless, that nobody’s won
And I know that you love me;
but I don’t want you to hug me
I want your communicating keys
to just go home
with out me

these impractical,
these selfish tears,
could fill
                                          a
                                                    small
      ­                                                    
            ­                                                 o ce an

when the day arrives that the venom you spit doesn't get absorbed by your lover and turned into honey, you know its done
when it reflects back at you with more power and velocity, you know its over
when the love for your angry, once ****, fire turns into empty eyes after the smoke clears , you know you ****** it up,
real good
just like you wanted  to
melancholy is your only  true friend
bathing in loneliness is your way
it's what you deserve
thats how it should stay

how can so much pain
fit in the frame of a boy your age?
How do you hold so much weight
with your slender;
tender stature?
sometimes i see it escape,
in drips from your face
that no one else seems to trace
the load you carry isn't even yours
it's your mother's
it's the man who calls himself your father's
it's the death of so many people
each a bead strung on line of your memory
that you wish didn't exist.
it makes it
so hard
to love  you,
because of this thick skin that has developed around your heart,
and your hopes
like rings on a tree trunk.
but so loveable, so helplessly loveable...
I need to count your rings.

your fabricated words are music to my hungry ears that savour any kind of ******* words you feed them.
malnourished,
in the most petty of ways,
i salivate,
                     for your majestrate ,
                                         to ******, to hug, to look at me,
to see me
  
to see me.

"I like you!"
"love you"
"me too."
*"...i loved you"

one misconstrued word  slips,

from his naive yet wise lips

she can feel  hell's heat upon her face

 her  blood pressure rises at a horrible pace,

boiling now;

she wants to be loved but has never known how

heart beats wildly

unsteadily;

she  trembles in a kind of pain

that cannot be pitied or explained

she opens her mouth to scream

but her raw lips can hardly breathe

too consumed in this fury to move

has lost all things to prove

she just sits there,

hunched into an emotionless ball

jaw and fists clenched

knuckles white

her tired neck tight

who ever takes the useless victory

will come home to an empty bed

both will loose it in the end

both will lose a lover,

and a friend

Sometimes, I read your horoscope to see if the stars know you better than I do,
maybe if I listen to them I'll be able to understand the way you are.

Sometimes, I look at pictures of your face and look for meaning in your expressions.
I try to see what your looking at because it's never at the camera.

Sometimes, I wear your sweater to sleep to see if I will dream your dreams and know what all of this means.

Sometimes, I wonder if you read my horoscope to see if the stars know me better.

i held it  delicately in my naive unworn hands, why did you rip it from me? why did you insist on making my gift, yours? it wasn't supposed to be under you're belt it was never meant to be one of your badges. from the day you said i had nice eyes, i knew i didn't want to give it to you. but i was naive, i wanted fun. i should have asked you what colour they were before i got into your car- my eyes i mean. i bet you would have said brown, well they're hazel thats what everybody whose ever like me has said, and if i had asked that very moment i wouldn't have gotten into your car, i wouldn't  have cried myself to sleep that night, or the 100 that followed. i should have known i was worth more than you ever gave me credit for.
2 years later your name still makes me want to *****. i don't hate you, i would have had to love you first and i never did.

no one's caress

can  fill that emptiness

that swallows you whole

that becomes the master of your soul

when your heart has a crack

there's no way to change it back

it'll run right through

until it has consumed you

no amount of love

can undo the damage done

so much unhappiness in this small frame
so much heaviness in delicate veins
so much darkness behind wide eyes
smiling pink lips; her only disguise

Baby
don't ever leave me
don't die,
or lose interest
is more realistic I guess

Baby
don't ever leave me
you're rough wool sweater
looks quite good on me
And I worked so ******* that painting I gave you last fall
And I really like your laugh
And the smell of the nape of your neck

Baby
don't ever leave  me
I want to grow old with you-
I mean
I want to have your spawn-
I mean
we kind of get along?

So stay
for maybe more than today
I know sometimes I'm afraid
and we've made some mistakes
but just,
don't leave me

I'll forgive you at the drop of a coin

at a slight change of the weather

I will always easily forgive you

because I easily love you

because I still can't believe how you

need me,

even a fraction of how much

I need you

and if one day I didn't forgive

I could no longer live

because I wouldn't

couldn't

wake up without you

My heart is so heavy, could you please carry it for me?

why is yours like sand always slipping through my shivering fingers?

I yearn to embrace it
tightly, but you won't let me.
I want to show your heart  how tenderness and kindness are maybe
not so frightening
But you,
won't even show me what it looks like.

Where have you gone?
you have been a stray for so long
you don't always have to pretend you are strong...

I'm not, strong.
but I'm stronger than you,
I can take care of you if you need me to.
yet  you can't even show me a fragment of your truths...

And,
I think I need proof.
that you're still here,
and that you're wanting to be in my
atmosphere.
because it really is not clear

if you want this or not

all the times that i fought...
for you
yes, always you.

Proof you know this word don't you?
that's the kind of thing you like facts,
numbers and straight lines.

When the word love slips clumsily from my lips into yours
it has a hollow taste,
it feels like a waste
maybe I love what you used to be
maybe that space is now empty.

There was a day where your lovely soul
got traded with one belonging  to  that of a paper doll's

the way you answer my words in a monotone autopilot
I-have-enough-words-in-my-own-head-what makes-you-think-I-want-to-hear-yours-instead
kind of voice, ruins my day.

the way you say, don't touch my stuff it all has a place, in this haste that make me want to break- in half.
or in quarters.
ruins my day.

the way you look right through my new dress,
past my eyes,
past even my thighs
to something i can never see
usually way past behind me.
ruins my day

the way you forget to talk to me
for six days
ruins my day(s)

do you feel me at all
do you feel my hands around your throat
tightening slowly
do you feel my nails on your leg
cutting you slowly
do you feel my heart beating in your hand
dying slowly

No puedo parar pensando en ti

Ni tus pestañas

Ni el olor de tu piel

No logro olvidar tus manos

Como me acariciaban

Y como movían por mi cuerpo con debilidad y oportunidad

Tus ojos están quemados en mi mente con la candela de mis sueños

Hueles a cigarrillo y aventura

Hueles a hablando nariz contra nariz

Eres electricidad y yo una lámpara sin luz ( te necesito)

Haces que todo los pelos en mis brazos se levanten al cielo.

Eres celestial.

Y yo terrestre.

La lejura entre nuestros cuerpos me enferma.

you are a lily floating in water full of sharks

you are a feather in the middle of a hurricane

you are a baby in no mans land caught in the middle of crossfire

you are a tiny flame that tries to flicker in the middle of a storm.

you are a boy, naive and frail

without a father in the middle of sadness, ******* and rock and roll music

I am the one loving you and watching you almost but not quite slip away every ******* day

there are typos that your bare feet left on my back. thoughtless imprints left by miss steps you took. i feel your weight shift as you cautiously measure where you place your miss placed barefoot. you, walk all over my back without a second glance, or thought. you push away the blood in my skin with the weight of your bare feet and bare bad intentions.  there  are typos that your bare feet left on my back. but those bad impressions, never do last.

Maybe in another life we would be together

Maybe in another life i would be an elegant long limbed women

with ebony skin

you, would be an english man with a slight build

i would have the ability to love you back with out inhibitions

or with out the right thing todo  always stepping in my way

Maybe in another life i could hold on to you without breathing in the guilt so thickly

Maybe in another life i could feel you without thinking about (how i should be) feeling  him

in another life you would be him

but in this life

you deserve something better than me

If  I could I would drip all your pain into a flask

I would drink it so the pain in you wouldn't last

I'd rather the pain pass through my lips

than see you the way you lay here limp

my darling if I could drink your pain

I'd even shoot it through my veins

anything to keep you safe

you give a little, so i take a lot

I'm sorry that i always need more from you

I'm sorry that my hunger for your eyes is endless

when did i become this way

you must be so tired

acid flickers in my clenched throat where the words used to come from,

there aren't any left my tongue can't  find the way to form them.

so easily, still sleeping, you cut out my tongue shoved it down my throat

my eyes are saucers and yours are closed dreaming about someone else's words.

I look at my wrist and see little grapes clustered were your fingerprints left tiny hints

of maybe too much pressure

purple and blue ink stains where you grab me ever so softly

(or firmly)

around my waist and in the hard lines of my collar bone

like blackberry juice after a long day of picking type stains,

different stains are left on the skin on my neck

and the start of my *******, but these are lighter

and they do seem to flutter in lines down my shoulders

the ones that do make me moan more

the ones that do bring me closer

I've been up for days...how young can  you die from old age?

There are these invisible bruises where your skin used to touch mine.
Bruise where my thighs and knees meet, on eyelashes and the soles on both feet.
The branches of capillaries under my skin moan and gasp in withdrawal of the warmth that is you,
Was you.
Instead of coming to the surface in violets and blues,
They violently cut through me, submerge past my flesh into the depths of me,
And into where my soul used to be.
Invisible bruises are the worst variation,
Because no one can see them so no one can explain the pain running down my face
In the middle of the day.
No one understands the shakes in my hands
As I try to pray for this all to be erased.
You must be made of lead because when I used to kiss you my lungs would fill with a heavy liquid,
And days after I  felt poisoned of the fatal kind.
Sometimes, I wish I were blind so that my eyes couldn't have fallen upon you,
Couldn't have absorbed you and saved you for future dreams.
If I were blind then I wouldn't believe in love at first sight,
The moment I saw you I was reborn-then died.