I compare myself
to a military wife
because i too
did not sign up for this
the only way i can deal
with you choosing
something over me
is be putting you
on an untouchable
pedestal
and pretending
you are doing this
for another cause
other than yourself
you are not fighting
you are not honourable
the only war you are fighting
is with yourself
the only thing you are sacrificing
is me
and that doesn't seem
to be a sacrifice at all
I apologize to anyone
who actually is loved
by someone who
left them
for the greater good
I'm sorry,
because
your bond
should never be misunderstood

a lump in my throat grows
as the distance between our hips widens
my hands begin to shake as
i lose the taste of your lips
i gain pounds to fill
the void of your silence
i don't want myself either Aid,
i fall apart
as your dreams come together
the ugliness inside
comes to the surface of my honest skin
no more forever and evers
no more kisses to cover my sins

on  autumn days
that you
are cold,
you give me
your coat
because,
you have always
put me
before
yourself