i want to be dead
but suicide seems too dramatic
i want to be forgotten
in death as much as in life

Hollowed out, unsure of self
the void that still remains
no light shines here
my shadow gone
a dismal sense of self
a ledge to stand,a lengthy fall
knees tremble,breath still
I cling

A jutting rock,dare to climb
limb extended,..muscles strain
a foothold here,a slender rim
air around me slightly stirs
breath returns,..weariness fades
a glimmer in the dark

ascend i try
with hope set in
my being less like lead
flicker intensifies,..approaching now
i climb with ease
hand and foot set solidly in

hand out to grab
warmth felt in my hand
rock slip,boulder crumble
.....I Fall.

She seemed so scared
  Waiting for my reaction
      What was the news that needed to shared
          Something big had occurred from a small action
             She can hardly stand
               She looked so hurt  
                  Just hold my hand
                    At the beginning i was just a big flirt
                      Now she's here with a little life
                         I cupped her face
                            We were both planning ahead and one day she could be my wife
                               We began a tight embrace
                                   Her parents thought it was terrible
                                      She is far too young to be a mother!
                                         I've never been in a situation to be comparable
                                           You're not my daughter!
                                              Not a girl
                                                Not even a boy
                                                   She looked like she was going to hurl
                                                       I love her she is not and will never be my toy
                                                          We would have celebrated
                                                              A little life, My little life, Our little life
                                                                  Now i'm the boy who her parents hated

You are always my exception
The one I impair my walls for
For just one drop of potential
The walls that end up throbbing in my veins
When you vigorously step on them to get to your goal
The only one who drives me to the highest level of weakness
by dismantling my morals and making me surrender my values.
You should be able to find them now somewhere lost in the atmosphere
You are one of life’s teachers
and I’m your student who fails your lesson every time
You dissolved all of my sanity with wine and turmoil
That night when you promised me sunshine
And said goodnight by heartlessly kissing my pride away
Because of you I am not myself
Your memories serve as a desperate attempt to fool my mind
into not caring for myself, but for your egocentric needs
I used to follow rules like they are carved in stone,
and my values had just landed on solid ground ...
Until you returned with your rehearsed apologies and believable vows.
You are my saddest, most tragic mistake
the one I'm ashamed to admit to life’s judges
but the one I keep coming back to
to insult my lunacy and unrelenting stubbornness.
You drink all of my pride as smooth as beer on a Friday night
You tear down my walls with nothing but effortless words
and leave me picking every piece from this raw, dusty ground.
You are the one known liar I keep believing in
You are the exception to my indestructible rules
the one mistake I never seem to learn from.
The one who builds up his ego by pushing me back down
You should be so proud to know you have won once again at your own game.
You should be proud to know you are my one and only exception.

I stand there and wonder
When I look to the skies.
Past the clouds of thunder
And up into the heavens.

How small it makes me look
In comparison to out there.
Like each word in a book
Small in contrast to the rest.

Going even past the atmosphere
Out far into space.
Traveling miles away from here
Leaving the milky way.

Looking down from up there
It’s not possible to find me.
You probably wouldn’t care
Where I am in the first place.

However, it is a proven fact
That something so small can make a difference.
All I need to do is act
And I will show everybody.

Only one more thing to say
I may be small to the universe.
If I act upon today
I can change the world.

Falling, climbing, flying towards you.
drifting farther from you..
hanging on to your breathing,
my dreaming.

How did we get here?

Love lost, love found,
Love is all around...
'round and 'round and 'round we go.
Love is all we know.

But not all we show.
How much longer can we go?

Fighting and lying and crying

Still...

Vying for you
Trying for you
Dying for you.

Promises of tomorrow
Mask the nightmares of today
I can no longer play
these games

There is no change.


Still..

I'd rather stay
Amongst the disarray
Just to hear you say

I love you.

tragedy is the makeup she wears,
tears of pain wash away her hopeless dreams,
the scars on her skin show the unforgotten past,
the black hole from which all happiness in her life is drained,
she holds her hand out,
endlessly,
hopelessly,
wishing for someone to grab it,
to take her away,
wishing for someone to smother her fire,
yet her candle still burns,

as i look in her eyes,
i see not the sorrow,
not the tortured and beaten soul that she sees,
i see life,
reality and compassion,
the raw truth,
that is unseen by most that look at her,
i see the most ravishing and divine creature to ever exist on this meager planet,
my love for her is not from lust or selfish needs,
its from the soul,
and that love will never stop burning,
one day i will take her hand,
and make her mine,
make up for all the other men that have failed her before me,
but until then,
i wait from a distance,
cold and alone,
with my hand out,
endlessly,
hopelessly,