Tonight I found you
Crushed under the weight
Of the ocean of broken promises
That you made for yourself.
And while I lay there
I realized that I could come home
Face every last one of my fears
And it wouldn’t matter.

I’ve been following a Leviathan
For the past 3 years.
I sometimes lose it
Among the deep, dark blue.
It leads me into waters
Much to dangerous for me.
It dives below for weeks at a time,
Only to resurface,
It shows me the way.
It always knows where to find me.
And I will always follow it,
If I do not change my ways.

I am not a savior.
I didn’t come for you.
I came to end this.
Once and for all.

Oh Captain,
I’ve been sailing
On the course you charted
Days before you were stolen.

Oh Captain,
I’ve been drowning
I’m trying to be strong.
But nothing feels worth it.

Please, come back.

I’d take your place in heaven,
But Lord knows I’d never make it
Past Peter and those Pearly Gates.

If anything, the Devil’s got a place for me
In his fiery home.

But chances are there’s nothing out there,
Past the Sky, Sea, or Land.

That’s why I never hear your voice.

I’ve heard tales from the deck
About the Captain on high
His hands bleed from hoisting
The main sail to the sky.
He keeps this ship moving,
leading the way.
we all get our fill
before he makes his plate.
He stays up all night,
alone in his cabin
Plotting the course
for the next day’s journey.
I wish I could say
that they were right
But this captain’s sailing
His last voyage.
It’s a race to see what will drown me first.

I don’t mind being haunted
But did it have to be you?
Your voice, so sweet.

It almost makes me forget
The things you’re saying to me.

It almost makes me forget
Why I tied these cinder blocks to my feet
And jumped into the river.

It’s not my job to fill people up
When the alcohol
Is no longer enough.

It’s been so long
That nothing makes sense
But the swells and breaks
Of the waves
On the ocean.

The ocean sings to me of
Every night we spent together.

Without these writings
My legacy is that of a drunkard
These scrawlings just prove
That I’m ******* who can’t let go. And there’s not enough time in the day
To prove otherwise.
I’ll leave before I get the chance
To make it right by you.

I’ve spent too many nights
Staying awake,
And downing every last drop
Of alcohol, this ship had to offer.
I was just trying to find something,
That made me feel okay.


That gave me the warmth that you once did.

I’ve boarded a ship
I’m sailing away
But I’ve been seasick
For the last 14 days


Or am I homesick?

My captain taught me
That when the bottom of the sun
Rests on the edge of the horizon
The sun has already gone below

And the Darkness just takes a moment
To arrive.

Maybe that’s the way it was
With you.

I’m sorry I don’t know
How to write about love
I’m sorry I don’t know
How to write about you.
How to write about the moments
We spend watching movies
Curled up
On your bed.

I’m sorry I don’t know
How to write about falling asleep
With your head on my chest.
And your legs intertwined
With mine

I’m sorry I don’t know
How to write about you
When your beauty surpasses words

I’m sorry I don’t know
How to tell the paper
That you are my everything
That when I can sleep my mind wanders
To you and you alone

I’m sorry my poems
Are broken and dark
Strung out across the floor

I’m sorry I don’t know
How to write about love
No one ever taught me how

But I think I did okay.

The Sun rises
And the Sun sets
Over the ocean.
Which is more beautiful?

The rising reminds me I haven’t slept,
And the setting is the prelude to your ghost.

I’m sorry it’s been so long
Since I wrote you a song
I just haven’t figured out how
Since you’ve been gone.

I’ve been stumbling around
With a glass in my hand
And the drinks that I’ll down
Would rather have me drown

So… Maybe all I need
Is to learn to swim again.

Heaven’s not waiting for me
I’ve got a dinner date with Satan
At the bottom of the sea.

I used to ask you
To sing me to sleep
Your voice so soft
It feels like the clouds
In my dreams.

Now you are miles away
In a direction
I couldn’t tell where

And you won’t stop singing
Your voice is so haunting
Why won’t you let me sleep?

The quiet earth breathes deeply.
Silently, the sky turns dark
Off in the distance
Quickly moving our direction.

The silent earth stands still.
Lightning tears through the sky
Illuminate the darkest corners
The storm is on our doorstep.

She calls me home
And I am sinking,
I am sinking.
Deeper deeper.
Til I am with her.

I wanted us to bury the hatchet,

But instead you buried the match.

Do you know what it’s like
To be ****** up in the head?

Are you sick of the lies you’ve been fed?

Do I blame it on you?
Do I blame it on him?
Do I blame it on myself?

Do I blame the alcohol,
or the flavor of his lips?
Do they taste better than mine?
Was my beard to thick?
Were my hands too rough?

I’m used to staring at the night sky
A sailor knows his stars.
But, long before I boarded,
I was already used to it.

We both were.

I’m running out of stories to tell
Nothing’s gotten easier
And I’m still headed for hell.

I spent three years
Planning out everything
That I would say
When I looked you in the eyes.
But when I found you
Hidden in the crowd
I fell in love with you again
And I walked away.
Because right next to you
I saw the man
Who took away my sunshine
And killed my faith.
I got back on my ship
For what felt like
The millionth time
Because I knew
If I came any closer
You’d both be dead.

And as the approaching storm

Was about to make landfall,

I felt no fear.


I knew far too much

Of wrath and ruin

That I, myself, had caused.

Why should anyone care

If I was no longer here?

And when my ship arrived
I went into town
Found your house
And looked inside

Saw my children
For the first time
In over five years
Followed by the face
Of the man
You replaced me with.

And when I met your eyes
I made my way
Down to the beach
And watched as the waves
Crashed against the sand

The sun shone brightly
On my wretched self

And I felt, that perhaps
For once since my captain
Had abandoned me
That everything
Would be just fine.

Oh, dear, I am no one.
I am a ship on the horizon.
You will see me for but a moment,
And as quickly as you noticed me
You will forget you ever saw me.

And what a shallow ocean
I’ve been swimming in.

You were just a storm
Who wanted people to stop and gaze
At the way you light up the sky
With your outbursts of anger and fear
You wanted us to forget the fact
That you sank ships in the wake
Of your anger
And you wanted us to continue to love you
No matter how bad you hurt us.
From a distance your beauty is known
And inside your eye
The light can be shone
But you destroy what’s around you.

There’s much worse things
That I could do
Than smoke this cigarette
And think of you.

Your head is full of hopes
And dreams of another man.
I can see straight through those darting eyes
When you look at me and tell me you love me.

I can see straight through that wicked soul.

You dream all night, and I don’t sleep a wink.
You’ve turned every waking second into a nightmare.

When I return.

Oh I’ll return.

Restitution,
What I once hoped for;
That all that was lost
Would come back to me.

But now I know
All that’ll be left for me
When I make my move is
Destitution

The port vanishes beyond the horizon
As restless waves thrash against our ship

We’ve set sail,
The stars above
Guiding our every move.

The land behind escapes our view.
We ride on and on,
The furious storm in our path
Only one way to go
Only the strongest will last.

There are murmurs among the crew
Of mermaids waiting in the blue
And behind the ship’s wheel
I keep my thoughts concealed
As the rain begins fall,
I yell commands,
“Strike the royals!

And batten down the hatches!”

The rainfall grows heavy
As my heart

And the winds and waves continue their
Barrage against my ship

We strike both gallants
And reef the mainsail

And sail straight through the storm.


I am the Master of the Storm
You shall not take me down.

Fear makes for sunken ships
And in turn, sunken captains

I am fear itself
You will know it soon enough.

I don’t know what to do.
No, I don’t know what to do.
I haven’t known in quite some time.
Most days it’s a toss up
Between joining the angels
Under the waves.
And going back
To a place I called home
And bringing a conflagration with me
And setting the place ablaze.

I miss the way it used to be
I can still see the places on the floor
Where you stepped,
In my mind.
I keep writing,
My catharsis.
But every piece
Turns into a letter
To you.
You were heaven.
You were the smell of freshly cut grass
And the taste of an ice cold lemonade.

I was just the poison in the wine.
The cancer, never benign.

I used to think
That I was too broken to be fixed.
That someone had taken the simple pieces
Of machinery
That reside in my chest

And bent the metal
And broke the cogs.
But it turns out
This is just who I am.
A drunkard with a pen.

I used to think we would have lasted
If I just swallowed my pride.
But now I know, the only way
That would have happened
Is if I dropped the match.

So we could be side by side
With an epitaph 6 feet above us.

I watched you
As your world fell apart.
I saw your ocean eyes
Fade to grey.

How did it feel?
Did it feel like you were burning?
Did it feel like fire?
Dude it feel like you were drowning?

Did you feel the weight of ******
Crush you and suffocate you?

If I had to guess
You didn’t feel anything at all.

What a wretched soul you are.
As vengeful as the waves
With words that fall like rain
In the heaviest of storms.

Stand on the beach
And walk into the waves.
Let the ocean wash you.
Cleanse you of his touch.

The wicked wind freezes my bones.
I think it’s Christmas.
I think I remember what that was like.
Back when I had more than a glass
And a bottle to share it with.
I think I remember what it was like
Before I realized that I didn’t have to waste my time
Spending it with blood.
Instead of spending it with those that I loved.

I’d beg you to stay,
But I’m a few years too late
And the more I think,
The more I realize
I will never have the courage
Or the strength
To stand next to you
And say ‘I do’.

I don’t know what to do
But sleep the day away,
For nights are spent drinking
Wishing, Hoping, Thinking, Feeling,

Burning.

The Deceiver is with me
He guides as my right hand.
The Master of Illusion
Hiding himself
In Light
Not Shadows.

The Sinister Snake
With two faces
Show me them both
As you shed your
Filthy skin.

Oh, but it’s not over yet.

The darkness creeps
Over the land,
And many succumb,
Fall to their knees
Worship the darkness,
Out of fear, or lust, or greed.

The darkness creeps
Over my heart
And I don’t know
If I have the strength
To fend it off
Forever.

Siren songs suffused the air
And not a man among my ships
Could bear to direct their ears
To any other sounds, or thoughts, alike.

And though their songs
Were beautiful,
And seemingly ethereal
They held no sway over me.

For my thoughts have not,
For even but a moment

Wandered far from you.

And though the sirens
Tried to steer my ship
Towards the jagged shallows

I’m doing just fine
Charting a course
Where I’ll be hanging from the gallows

I slammed my fist
Through the cheap, hollow door.
You’ve left me broken,
I hope your children know
That you killed a man,
So that you wouldn’t feel bad
About breaking a home.

When you saw her,
Did you look at her hand?
Realize what you’ve done.
Did it mean nothing, the gold band?
You swore you’d always be here.
You swore you’d always be mine
I’m trying to survive.
You swore.

But You lied.

Often, I stare at the ocean,
Over the railing of my ship.
And I think how easy it would be
To swim till my lungs fill with water.
But instead I fill my lungs with smoke
And I tried for years
To poison the things inside of me
With bottle after bottle.

The winds have battered
And tattered my sails,
And the salt water is
Rotting my every floorboard.
I stopped in a town,
To replace what was broken down.
But I’m starting to feel guilty.
I was given this ship
By it’s rightful Captain.

And when every sail has been changed
And every floorboard replaced

Will this ship still be the same?

Will it still be the one my Captain gave to me
With his final breath?

What good is all the money
You could ever imagine
If you sell your soul
And lose all compassion?