My mind has been filled
With voices, and the faces of a woman
Who tried burned a man at the stake,
And so he went on a voyage.

Looking back, I can see that our future
Was doomed from the start.
I can see the waves that were destined to crash
I didn’t know I was resting on the crest.

I’ve written it all down,
I’ve spilled the ink across the page
I’ve spilled every thought
That crossed my mind
All these years I’ve been out at sea.

I ask you, whoever finds these.

Read them. Learn from them
That’s all I ask.
Learn from my mistakes.
Do not become me.

There’s no need to **** yourself
Out on the ocean blue.
There’s no need to harbor those feelings
Let them sail away,
Instead of you.

Alone I’ll die,
Your name imprinted on my soul
And memories of how it all went wrong
Burned forever into my mind.

I was never ready to be a captain.
I was only waiting for the end, like the coward I am.
My family was always better without me.
You were a better father,
Than I could’ve been.

And darling,

You were always better without me.
Oh, Great, Blue, Deep.
I’m ready to make
My final retreat.

Goodbye.

Without these writings
My legacy is that of a drunkard
These scrawlings just prove
That I’m ******* who can’t let go. And there’s not enough time in the day
To prove otherwise.
I’ll leave before I get the chance
To make it right by you.

I used to think
That I was too broken to be fixed.
That someone had taken the simple pieces
Of machinery
That reside in my chest

And bent the metal
And broke the cogs.
But it turns out
This is just who I am.
A drunkard with a pen.

Light passes through
The translucent curtains
Fill the room
Splash against my face
Wake me up
From the unending nightmare
Like I knew you always could
My love.

Before you,
I always felt that I was sick
That I wasn’t quite right
Like a storm within
That needed to be quelled.


And when I first grabbed your hand
I felt okay
For the first time in my life.


And now that the ocean
Has swallowed me
I understand
How medicine and poison
Can be the same thing.

I’ve tried to keep the enemies away
With words sharp enough
To slit a throat,
To ****, or at least delay
The inevitable.

But I think I missed.
I couldn’t tell the difference
Between an enemy
And a friend.

How many times
Will I find a new way
To say the same thing;

I am not worth the pain.