i could never be with you
nothing about you is
quite right
your flaws aren't lovable
but it's nice to think
that they could be
that i could
be with you
if they were.

It took me a few seconds
to realize what this feeling in my chest was.

A smile on my face,
a warm, full feeling in my heart.

Oh
Oh

Loved.
I feel loved.

I think the scary part is that
eventually we all become strangers
and the body you used to let yours sleep against
only two months ago
now silently tells you to keep distance.

I think what hurts the most is that
you used to look at them and know exactly
what was going through their mind
and now the only thing you are sure of
is that it's not you.

You used to call them when you felt like **** and
now you're fighting yourself all night
not to dial their number.

They used to fill your mind
first thing in the morning
and your mouth would easily curl up,
now they're the last thing at night
you think about and maybe
you have never even known eachother.

Your nobody to judge me I regret empowering your ignorance. Ive done more then you could imagine. It might not show but your not worth my time. Ive always helped others while you judge them
Im tired of all my down falls and setback I just want to be free of all the burden. Id love but im usually the other guy. Im not a player but know the game. I work for mine tired of thing being taken away of abandoning me.
Ive been on my own since 17 not trying to please anyone I follow rules no one is the exception to me everyone is equal I dont car who you are ir who you know if you have no respect you mean nothing to me
Im not mad just mad everything keeps me out I have to bust my *** work twice as hard to be accepted. My efforts get knock thats what ****** me off or when im finally made it someone else rains on my parade.
I want to argue and yell but my mouth gets me in trouble and the other person is blessed while my efforts go to **** and hit rockbottom
I feel these blocked out emotions resurfacing even though those moments have past. I over think it gets to me or makes me want to make a dramatic change

I'm scared of so many things right now.
Like if I'm making the right decision about my future:
Am I independent enough to leave my home and seek adventure?
What if I'm not living out my life to the fullest?
I don't want to regret these years but I can't seem to change myself.
Am I just as bad as what I complain about?
I'm terrified that I am my biggest pet peeve
and that I will never be able to escape myself.

I'm scared that my newfound anger isn't just a phase.
And how am I supposed to overcome my problems
if I instinctively shut them out before I have the chance to try?
I'm scared that second chances don't exist and
fear that I've ****** up the only one I get.
I worry that true happiness will never come to me again
but I know I'm probably just being overdramatic.

I'm terrified that I'm wrong about her and that
I will be too late to do any saving.
I know she doesn't want to be saved but I still fear
she'll choose death over us.

I fear that I'm wrong about everything.
I'm scared that nobody cares.
I'm terrified of being lonely.