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Some say we scare them,
some just pass by and think
"**** delinquents."
But then some stare
and start to remember
the times when they
were this young
and had so little
running through
their minds.

My mother warned me
one day
about these "gritty teenagers."
One day
she was being warned.

You never ultimately understand
the minds of the people
that can't understand
their own.
But these people,
created a world
that has changed
on many different occasions.
This world that
is full of angst
and has smoke clouds
forming around
the most chaotic
people.

I wonder sometimes,
on off days,
how this is all possible.
How could I have found
such contradicting comfort
in the people
in the places
where I once used to be
scolded about.
I've learned to
accept that
it's just an off day
that has worked out
in my absolute favor.
And I never want to have
another on day
again.


We roam the streets,
yelling obscenities.
Or just sit in a
crowded garage
that never gets
claustrophobic.
We throw out conversations
about ***,
and have no care about it
because we're teenagers.
We flaunt out every secret
that we aren't supposed
to know,
and never keep quiet.
We comfort each other
when others
can't see the world
as clearly

as I can.

Sometimes I wonder
why people don't
approach me more often
to ask me
"Where are your friends?"
when they probably know
that I'm one of those
"gritty teenagers"
that'll respond with
"having a smoke somewhere."

and some days
I don't want to ask myself
if I'm ready to leave
the people
that I
ride in cars,
sleep,
slap,
*****,
waste my time
with.


I'm not sure
if I should
ever
be ready
to leave
the people I name
after the synonym of
male.
When the storm rages above,
when it rains hard and the wind blows
I close my eyes
and I dive below.
I take a while to find myself
in the deepest place I know.
whatever may come
what evil may show
I know I have the power
to escape my foes

i've walked through the valley of death
And no God did I find,
But a reflection peering back
so eager to shine.

I bring her to the surface,
and I let her be free.
For everyone to befriend
for everyone to see.

And if you lend your ear
Take a moment to try,
I think in love and acceptance
your power you shall find.
 Nov 2013 soul in torment
M M M
You tell me I'm lovely
You tell me I'm thin
You tell me to come over
But you never say when

You tell me I'm different
You tell me I'm pretty
You tell me to get dressed up
You want to take me to the city

You tell me I'm quiet
You tell me too much
But you never did tell me
You were feeling out of touch

You told me to go
You told me to stay
You couldn't make up your mind
So I decided to leave anyway

You told me you were sorry
You told me you were dumb
You told me that you over think sometimes
And that it isn't any fun

I told you I would be here
I told you I would stay
But don't think that you're my lover
We couldn't last a day

Now you're broke and sorry
Wishing it was better
But "sometimes things happen that way"
I wrote you in a letter

I miss you everyday
I miss you all the time
If only you had known our love
Was always first in mind

I think about you
and I think about me
and I think that we both think too much
And I know that you'd agree

You told me you were happy now
You told me you were having fun
You told me to come visit soon
I could even meet your son

I was ****** and I was tired
I was sad and I was cold
This life just flew by us both
Too fast to grab hold

I am happy too you know,
I never needed you
To tell me that you needed me
I'm a shadow, I'm anew

You won't find me around here
Don't even come and look
"I'm long gone away somewhere"
I wrote you in a book

Now I only see ocean
I can't remember land
For time has passed and I am just a soul
Holding life in my hand
I Wish I Could Explain My Current State Of Mind.
Undesired Instead Empire.. Ahaha:)

There Is So Much I Wish To Say About This Feeling Of Loss And Sadness Which Dwells Within My Hollow And Cooling Heart...
an electric razor
I'll have to buy soon
as my chin is covered
in a whiskers boon

I'll be mistaken
for an old billy goat
if I don't remove
my chin's black coat

these whiskers
are a horrible adornment
they are ruining
my ****** ornament
One to make you smile...
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