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it
bears all the signs of sharing...
yours,
mine, all our stuffs combined...
the
dresser and side tables,
in
the closet, and bookshelves, too.

the
walls are painted white.
somehow,
i see them now as dull gray...
my
side of the bed is warm and wrinkled,
while
yours is neat and cold.

the
glum atmosphere within
merges
with  my somber mood.
i
sigh, in need of fresh air, but
far
greater is my need for you to come back.

our
room cries for space...
yes,
it suffocates in silence...
but
in its crowdedness,
emptiness,
creeps through.....

(Published 1997)

Sally
       Copyright 2013
      Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
The Red Leaves Quivered;
Slowly They Began To Die,
In The Changing Breeze

A Crimson Heart Hurt,
In A Wind No Longer Warm;
It No Longer Kind

A Raven Had Called,
Sobbing In A Dying Tree;
The Sun Was Setting

A Full Moon Had Rose,
But The Wolf No Longer Sang,
For She Had No Song

Frost Covered The Earth,
Slowly The Crimpson Faded;
The World All But Ice

*Sydney
My Dad Said I Should Get Back To Writing..
Colors Linger; Suspended In A Glimmering Eye,
As Dew Perched Upon The Greenest Blades Of Grass,
The Lawn Removing The Hate From The Sole Of Her Boots;
The Vegetation A Door Mat Spelling Out "WELCOME"

Her Breath Escapes As White Clouds From Her Throat;
The Carbon Dioxide Warm From Her Content Soul,
The Air Crisp And Quiet, Filled With Birdsong
As She Walked Quietly Through The Thick Wood,
The Trees Her Family Portrait Hanging On A White Wall,
The Faces Smiling, Spelling Out That This Was "HOME"

Though The Sun Was Shining Her Eyes Were Gray,
Clouded By The Solemn Thought Of Another Goodbye,
The Birdsong Disappeared Into The Vastness Behind Her,
The Colors Now Charcoal, For She Was Gone,
Though One Last Misty Breath Hung Within The Trees...
It Had Sighed The Words, "SO LONG HEAVEN"

*Sydney
So Long Heaven.. I'll Try To Be Back Home Soon<3

Self Portrait Poem
D i n n e r    d o n e...

                  W i n e   d o n e...

               D e s s e r t   d o n e...

                       D o n ' t   n e e d   d a r k   c o f f e e......


     Sally

       Copyright 2013
        Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
My Throat Red And Raw,
I Am Drinking From The Sea,
My Reflection Blurred,
Frigid Yet Soft Like The Stars,
My Eyes Dark And Vacant*

                         My Fists Are Clenching,
                      Trembling In Waning Light,
                           I'm Thinking Of You,
                  For I've Dreamed Of You Again;
                           A Pale,  Lonely Memory


You Are Small And Frail,
Wrapped In A Plaid Comforter,
Tears Roll Down Your Cheeks;
You Were Thinking Back To Me,
When Your Hell Had Just Began


                              I'm Biting My Lip,
              While Watching The Leaves Recoil,
                             I Am Fidgeting,
                  Taping My Pen Rhythmically,
                     Trying To Distract Myself


I Breathe In Deeply,
My Heart Is Beating Too Fast,
I Gently Touch You,
You Turned To Look In My Eye,
You Murmured,"Why Are You Here?"


                                I Rub My Forehead,
                        My Palm As Cold As The Air,
                               I Stare At The Ground,
                      My Thoughts Are Disorganized,
                      Strewn Around, Pictures Of You


I've Jumped In The Sea,
Your Sad Eyes Have Seen Me Off,
For Some Strange Reason,
I Don't Feel Satisfaction,
Only A Hint Of Pity


                                   I Do Feel Relieved,
                     Not Because You Have Crumbled,
                                 But Because I'm Free,
                    I Am Free From Your Strained Grasp,
                      For You Had Said That One Word


*Goodbye
Hmm, Take It How You Want.

All I Needed Was A Goodbye<3

Step 4 Towards Self Forgiveness:

I've Realized That My Past Actions Did
Not Only Affect Me.. And Those Actions
Had Pushed Someone Down A Path Which
Lead Them To Hell On Earth.. That Is What
I Had Wanted In The Beginning, I Was Bitter--But Now
That I've Seen That It's Actually Happened,
I Am Not Relieved--I'm Petrified

I Had Been Drinking The Darkness Of The Sea,
Dwelling On My Twisted Reflection,
When Really I Should've Been Swimming To
New And Better Prospects--Than Soaking
In The Ancient Waters Of Pain.
My Lips Are Set Straight, Chapped, And Thin.
    Heart
             Is
                 Thumping
                                Wildly
                                         Pushing
                                                      Blo­od
                                                              ­ Through
                                                                ­               My
                                                              ­                      Hot
Clouds Scurried Across The Sky Like Thin Blue Veins
                                                           ­                        As
                                                              ­                 If
                                                              ­             It
                                                              ­    Were
                                                        ­      A
                                                Captive
 ­                                   Animal
                       ­    That
                    Had
            Been
       Set
Free From Accusation The Birds Soared Above Me
    ....
        Such
               An
                    Interesting
                                ­      Concept
                                                   ­ Because
                                                        ­          How
                                                                ­          Does
                                                  ­                                One
The Leaves Fell In Circles Around Me; It's Fall I Know
                                                            ­                          If
                                    ­                                         They
                                                            ­        Truly
                                                             Are
                                                   "Free"
                                            And
          ­                           Not
                            Being
                   Held
       Captive
  By
The Dawn Is Quiet Since Deserted By The Sparrows
     Sky

*Sydney
I Have Become The Songbird's Favorite Summer Tree, And My Precious Sparrows Are Flying Away, Else Where, Without Me, For I Am Grounded By The Hardening Soils..
Come, Sit Here With Me,
Let's Dip Our Toes In The Creek,
Though It's November,
Let Us Watch The Waters Gleam
As They Swirl Around Our Feet

Come, Lie Here With Me,
We Could Kiss Or Count The Stars,
Though It's November,
We Could Still Have Frosted Dreams;
Steal The Night And Call It Ours

Come Here, Keep Me Warm,
The Sun Does It's Job, No More,
Though It's November,
We Could Still Go To A Lake,
And Build Castles On The Shore
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