I just realized no one is listening. They never were . Why do i believe?  
I know. I only need to realize. Or at least be true. This is all i have left.
Nothing.
**** you. For all your your wind wasted on hope. Did you realize there could become hurricanes? Do you even feel them now? As if. This is your creation. And you are the eye.
Believe, in your twisted logic. Begin. But...can you Spell justification. As long as you're happy. Right? Could anything be more important.
Can you say sacred? Could you even remember that word?
Has anyone a grip! Or does this all slide so easily from your hands...Unwittingly or apathetically? You all die. Crumble into dust, right before my eyes. Blow you away...
I thought you understood. I thought you would be more. You told me to have hope. You promised.
It was all a lie.
To you so white. Something thin enough to disappear. Or never have existed?! Do you say translucent? No....no. You never drew it to begin with. It was mine.
But...I just do not understand. How? How could so much effort go into, a forgotten dream? Because I guess that's all I am.
Forgotten.
Was...if ever appeared. No, my mistake here.
For defining myself in the part of you...that never was.
I am nothing, and I have never existed.

You all must be evil. I cannot conceive of an alternate. Why was it so important, for me to believe? You still insist, behind your empty eyes; you assure. That there is truth. And light. And hope and horizons.
You cannot hear these words. Or they are just shapes in air. But then why speak? I think maybe you will come up dead. For ever and always. Never another.
Here is one. Last. Thought. Before you devour. What is left. Whatever ever was, of this...me. This lie. Come to life.
Why do zombies eat the brains?
Do you think inside a corner of a fold, in a dark space, underneath many layers; they feel regret? Over what is, what they are. That maybe some microscopic flutter of muscle is conscious? Self aware. And realizes, this should not be. This is wrong.
Here lies everything I ever held dear.
Yes, they may want it undone. Unwound. Yet; how weak they all are; unable.
So you just...give up? Accept death in a moment. And move on.
Does that really excuse you? I am incapable.  Yes, stamp your clear with that. How easy.
Nothing for more for you to do. Just ****. Or shut it up. Lash out. Clear away any reminders.
The idea that more could exist...is poison.
Maybe...it is only a matter if will. I insist? So it becomes.
Eat the brains. And no one will tell you otherwise.

I can't know you
Abandoned
to
this
way-
ward
House.
You move quite deliberate
Now.
As if I'd know.

But I don't see you.
Your shadow stepped back from the door.
I listen but I can hear
no more.
You've traveled this world long before,
any of us.

Before we knew what were searching for.
Or understood what we could have explored.

And now that you've drifted away.
Why I've lost my reason to stay
Tied to this world-
they adore.
I
see
but I
can
hear
no more

You dont care

You don’t care

All I say

Well the wind is lost in your hair

And green eyes

Oh those green eyes

They match the sea on Sundays, right before the suns down

And right after we leave.

But your face shape,

Is somewhere between scared and

Heart shaped.

Or mostly just lost.

Stare too far out at the sun, without looking away

I tell you you’ll go blind some day,

You dont care

You don’t care.

While the wind whips your hair,

We speed in the brisk air,

Underneath all those big stars

Too far away to blind you

If I just signed you away

I know you’d float up with lost toys

And helium balloons

Up in heaven, or in starts shaped like sprinkles

You’d float there

Wait ‘till your bright enough

That i see you from my porch at night

Way up, lost in that big sky.

Just like you are down here.

But still i look in those green eyes,

Underneath the city’s brown skies,

Am i your anchor,

Am i enough,

So that you’ll to stay here?

Please don’t float away.

Us together
Us against the world
Then you're gone
You had to be a hero in someone's eyes
Mine must not have been big enough

I'm sorry.
I did not know.
And I wanted something different.
But that's just
all beside the point now.

Dear you.

In the end,
You didn't care much
Afterall.
Did you?

And here I am.
Still hoping you'll answer.

Here I am.

Until,
There.
I
Go.

I'd waited
here
without you
until
I saw
the rainfall.
I still believe your promise.
Oh that night of long ago...
When you were someone different,
and I was nothing like
myself.

Perhaps,
they still are living.
Those two ones who
belong.

You know I understood you?
But
Did you even
see my name.

I guess it's all one
sided. And we become
only alone.

But,
I still hold that you inside me.
At least there
he
can
Never
Die
Only,
suffocate so slowly.
Crushed by years
and years of
lies...

Tell me,
will we always be
alone?

Please, I need to talk to someone.
Or I just need you near.
Please don't go to sleep.
Please don't leave me.
Please protect me,
And stay.
Please!
I need
I can't
I don't
How can I make it on my own.
Don't leave me here.
Not all alone.

Because she's coming,
Calling for me.
Her games are never fair,
She always wins.

Please stay.
Wouldn't you?
Couldn't you?
Would you save me.
Please.

What would make you listen?
That you could see my pleas.
No, I cannot speak.
But don 't you see?
Why do we have eyes,
If everyone surrounding
Seems to be blind.

Please...
Don't leave me,
All alone.
Not again.
Please?

I can try to recall a life before this
What moments felt like before understanding
Why pain has no feeling any longer
Why we us it for numbing our minds
I can try.
But in the end,
Everything but this moment is only a dream.
And I've come to understand,
There is no color.

Enough said.

You don't say
That one day
We could just start again.
And
There's a chance
Our jaws could be unclenched
A hope for unraveling.
You don't say
Hope counts for nothing
Because it does.
But
We can't say
Because everyone knows
And no one can live if its not off of lies.
I can't say
Everything will be alright.
Why don't you tell me?
Save a breath
Skip a step
Knowledge of the truth hasn't brought us very far
Before.
So bet on broken knees and ****** jeans
It's a death march to the beginning.
Now
Run backwards after falling
And see what comes.
Stand behind this white line
Stare at the pavement
And believe.
They already left you behind.

Did you see
Happenings
Return to me.
Together
We will be free
We will be true
But we will not survive.
In this world,
All truths will die.
Break down in black.
Please wait your turn.
This is what men are made of.

Please
Please, just save me.
Please help me
Please tell me
Convince me
Is there a life worth saving?
Can you have a sight for meaning?
Is
There
Anything
To keep me here?
Please,
Please.
Please lie.
Like my life depends on it.


Because maybe it does.

Separate you've ever hoped for.
We will see a time
When there is nothing
We will almost remember.
Approach what was there,
We cannot comprehend what has been lost.
Only reminded of that closed room in your nightmares.
How much would we give to have those four walls back ?
What is the weight of absence.
Then comes the day,
We forget there this meaning of,
Horizon.
Then comes the day,
We might as well die.
Because life is like that.
That 's just the way things are.

But it's sooner than you think.

There will never be another day like before
I will never rewind far enough
For you

What is life,
With no hope
With nothing to sustain us.
I do not even have the pleasure of burning
Instead
I'm awake enough to have noticed
That our dreams are evaporating
And as it fades,
We forget what once was.

I know my words don't mean much of anything
They aren't long enough
Or brave enough
To draw
Even just one eye

I know my words
Are a vague redition of
Mediocrity
With high esteem
And hopes of return

Believe me,
don't I know.

Replace your smirk with pity
And change my name

Or just erase it altogether

I know my words mean less than nothing.
To you.

So just turn away
And leave me be
Or hate me still
And fail to see

But do not operate under any illusions that I am unaware.
No one knows better than I do.

I can't imagine what hopes you've
unraveled
with
Roads left to travel
You sit on the precipice
On the edge of the story
of long ago....

Something
Something, something
Something was here
That day you spoke
Maybe one day I'll see
Somewhere you'll go
Somewhere
Unknown
Because I can't say where here is
Not now that you've gone
Sometime, you might come back
Someday you may remember
That time
I would have waited
I wanted to see
And now,
There is no longer a Someday here for me.

If I could fall
There would be arms at the end.
A light in the tunnel.
Windows, instead if doors.
My eyes would not open closed,
No sound would escape my world.

If I could hope,
I would never reach an edge.
Home cannot be made of paper walls.
So easy to burn through.
Start from underground.

If you could stay,
I might stop laughing at cuts.
Look again,
There's a horizon.
A group of clouds we had never seen.

If all of this were true,
I might have the strength.
To look at my hands and see them broken,
Crippled claws.
Who can grasp even sand without will.

Remember,
All know the truth.
Brush it off,
Burry it,
No matter.
It comes as it will.
The darkness that consumes all.

Did you forget?

I had.


Pleading,
Break down the door.
Begging,
Save someone.
Everyone else.
Myself.

One day I felt that sleep would do me good, and that one day just never stopped.
Falling without feeling,
without thinking,
even knowing.
This steadiness sees nothing end.
A constant,
a stagnant,
there's no such thing as propulsion;
no say or do of any kind.
Just this bleak, empty void, that fogs up my mind.
Begingings must come for an end.
I'd stay there, just not here.
Next time I might know when.
You stood across, the corner's gaslight.
Watching, baiting, biding your time waiting,
tell me what you mean by those words.
But I can't ask.
I forget, I'm asleep.
That night is so long ago.
I'd wish it back here, replay the scene, in the doorway.
Change my words,
just this once.
One last time.
Instead, I'm asleep.
Stare into the white.
Stretch to see,
understand what you mean,
there is no possibility.

I am a compilation
Of dead factions
Mangled selves
Who did not choose the right turn to
Save themselves.

I am a compilation
Of eyes set ablaze
Upon realization
of their unacknowledged
future

We are not alive if we live off lies.
This is the truth
The reason everyone dies.

Greet me
Speak every syllable of my name
In honor of those still inside
Their corpses.

Remember me.
The could have beens,
Which should have been.
What might have been better if they were?

I am filled with death
And with every word,
My every turn,
I only manage to **** more

Sing to the ones inside
The ones left beind
With no chance of being revived,
For none of you ever did exist.

Only to me.

There once
was
       a
          boy
born of the desert.

And from the light as eyes opened
to
the
last breath
                  In
       memory,
There was nothing
                                                         ­                   nothing
                                      ­                         but sand.

Yet
     Somehow
                                 he hoped.
in what had never been  drempt of before.
and,
               Somehow
he still saw future.
                              
                                 Imagine.
                                    Skies.
             ­                       With a horizon...
Imagine
and believe.
For his heart had never existed before.


And he never stopped running.
This boy.

Don't forget
Your name today
As it passes,
Don't let it fade away.

Please remember
How I looked at you
And all you saw
In the days before your grave.

Know this.
Prove what you know.
Another day
Hour
Come to see this end played out.
This application for doubt,
For shock that cannot be explained.
Maybe one day
Or hour
Comes to show we will play out
An our lives and give reasons for
doubt.
I warned you today.
I wish
I wish
I wish,
I could have.
Another chance, please rewind.
And give me reasons for doubt.
I could
Tell me to see truth.
Explain.
Maybe one day
Or hour
Would give us a chance
Please rewind,
For us.
Because I've done something that cannot be explained.
Maybe one would, would play out a role I deserve.
Maybe one would be explained.
Maybe one would be me,
To see but will not stay.
I deserve, but instead
Screamed.
Because you don't.
Left hand turns only end up working
For one of which of us.
Because you don't deserve any of this.
And I don't deserve any of us.
So much to see what will not say
I gave up working for one of us,
none of us.
But instead screamed
Because you don't deserve any of this.
And I can't see which of us
Lies dead now
I don't  see how to fix this.
I can't know how to fix us.

Here lies a poem
waiting to be written
But without
true words to be found
we may lie here together
Forever
Never see anything more
than what exists
Or what could be less
that she
Who waits to be?
Unravel.

Here lies absence.
Who could call it fine
When times do not reveal
Any more than mere lines
Striped in time.
This is our life.
This is mine.

Hear your words
Percieve.
Intent.
Who will comprehend?
Our world grows backwards.
What was
cannot exist.
What is,
We never would have wanted.
But do you see?
Really?
Do I even.

Would we want to understand?
What truth is.

The only heathy people
are those awake enough to say they're not okay.

Because the world that I see
The lines that I perceive
Are just so different from you
From your sky.
Your eyes must be shaped differently than
Mine.

Where do you stand?
How can I believe.

In whatever exists.
That we may change
Any moment to another
While breaths determine our steps
Looking back
I don't see
Or maybe just cannot perceive
Where this forked
And became.
While the other one dies,
We are only unaware.
Of less than exists.

Yet every one
So incomplete, still.
And though we may be opposing sides,
Does it even matter?
If in each one,
We are both still so small.

So look down on me
While she looks up at you.
And let's both miss the truth
The big picture.
And we 'll never leave
Our little worlds of perception.
Except you're there with the others,
And I'm all alone.

We never will transcend,
this atmosphere,
Will we?