-
For all the binge drinking and swear words
Lack of formality
And general distaste for anything besides the bottle

Thank you
For the inspiration against conformity
The idea that I can win the crowd with my words
And the fact that I don’t have to walk on eggshells
And please all
For me to be happy

For your ideas on women that “walk the night”
I have been warned
They lie cheat and steal
Yet you just can’t help
Going back for more

Charles-
Can I call you Charles?
Thank you
For your deeply profound statements
On life, love and the pitfalls of alcohol
Even though it’s obvious
You weren’t sober when you wrote them

I’d like to quote you know
“A good poem knows when to stop”


Stop
-

A rapid flowing thought,
pampered easily into a worry.
Anxiety builds within moments - from shameful musing.
Bubbling champagne coursing through veins; hidden under ghostly white skin.
A simple life based off a well placed lie, unravels like a fraying quilt.

Could you forget as easily; as you could forgive?
Erasing a memory.
Cleaning the façade of our blood from the soaked table.
Tablets and tomb, both alike,
soaked in the redden water of my long forgotten innocence.

I am sorry for the lies I've told through our story.

I am sorry for my secrets kept,  locked firmly, behind close doors.

But I am not sorry for loving you truly, body and soul.

So cast me out,
Send me away.  
But know my leaving is nothing but me, showing my love for you.

All for the love of you.

You call me
courageous,
I who grew up
gnawing on books,
as some kids
gnaw
on bubble gum,

who married disastrously
not once
but three times,
yet have a lovely daughter
I would not undo
for all the dope
in California.

Fear was my element,
fear my contagion.
I swam in it
till I became
immune.
The plane takes off
& I laugh aloud.
Call me courageous.

I am still alive.

After all of the long nights I
Spent laughing and loving with friends
I went home to my bed
And resumed my feelings for you,

Way after you got your dog tags
And even long after left me
and my heart up here
in Revolutionary, Massachusetts.

I wish I could blame you for how this feels
But I should probably just blame this town
For never showing me more
Than everything I couldn't have.

We spent so long in each others arm/
Wasted time, that really only did each other harm/
Whispered words and sweet nothings in each others ear/
Do you recall all those lies that you made me hear/
I tried so hard to stay in love with you/
After you, left me and, told me that we were through/
Tell me what did I ever do/
I felt so betrayed/

Woah/
It was you who broke me/
Beat me down for good/
But you did not destroy me/
Like you thought you would/

I'm fighting my way back to the top/
Climbing higher, then ever before/
I'm feeling like I'm never going to stop/
You won the battle, but I'll win the war/

How did he taste when you kissed his skin/
Was it smooth, was it love, inside you're every sin/
I waited patiently when he went in/
All alone, in my thoughts, wondering where you've been/
Shame on me for making you the one/
In my mind, I always knew that our time would come/
You never know I guess until you're done/
But your harm would never last/

Woah/
It was you who broke me/
Beat me down for good/
But you did not destroy me/
Like you thought you would/

I'm fighting my way back to the top/
Climbing higher, then ever before/
I'm feeling like I'm never going to stop/
You won the battle, but I'll win the war/

Can you tell me that you're better off/
Are you happy with where you stand/
Is he what you have been dreaming of/
Is he the better man/
Truth be told I'm not listening/
I'm finally feeling free/
Six years later i'm a brand new me/
And this is how i'm meant to be/
Woah/
It was you who broke me/
Beat me down for good/
But you did not destroy me/
Like you thought you would/

I'm fighting my way back to the top/
Climbing higher, then ever before/
I'm feeling like I'm never going to stop/
You won the battle, but I'll win the war/
Oh/
I've won this war/
I've won it/