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had it all been different i may
have taken further education
you know.
tell us things, take us without consent. there are no records
tell us things, take us without consent. there are no records
i think my work,
my soul
is in
my chest.
so you wake and hear the sound

then change your plans


arrow the tasks forward

then check the website and do not amend

accept the substitutes or refunds


move the car up

open the gate carefully so it does not break

again


these are little things


some of you out there are suffering

and how can I help?


the bear sighs and turns over
two cakes sound better than my none

here then it is not my birthday yet

i had bread and butter pudding for after
to use up the bread
disliking waste
and liking dessert

I would of said pudding
yet it spoiled the line

break

two eggs and add the milk
to soak the bread with butter

and sultanas

some things are unavailable so
asda man brings substitutes

like rocket instead of rocket
we are to have a refund if

found unsuitable

imagine the log deposited with flood
water

a whale beached
i said and she agreed

imagine if I had cake
and it might be chocolate
with thick sticky sauce
and bits in it

i imagine I should like that
and eat it all
asked me who will be afraid of our ghosts

ghosts of humans
when we are gone
small soft kiss on the cheek these days,

with a hug possibly. unless of course its

you.



not like the old days. i think that we did

not hug , kiss and remonstrate.

used the surname, all was proper.



even cabbage had titles.



then the kissing came, warm, gentle

kind.



yet i hardly know you, how nice.







xist
once again is monday

no work no more, on furlough

with punctuation


used to go on sundays

and other days as needed


we closed in the winter reopened in march

and then locked down that same month


so at home we work in the house and garden

the studio

as needed


i used to work as a holiday reserve

on various tasks as required

then left and moved to wales


we still keep in touch

as needed
thought it was tarmacadam as did the passer by

who remarked upon it.



it is not mine, it is the neighbour’s

drive.



i know now it is asphalt

a stronger surface allegedly. the former surace cracked

in danger of breaking up like mine which i prefer.



more country

where flowers seed.



i know that pitch comes from a lake in trinidad

and  i like the words bitumen and tar.



i like the aroma and  stickiness to poke with sticks



set now
now you know that the bird has died

and her wish was to preserve it somehow

that was yesterday

she had balanced it on a cotton reel, you know the old wooden ones with red thread.

this balancing thing

started years ago

in childhood, a game. later life a habit, a meditation.

she watched others, the artists balancing stones

copied , then balanced all sorts, soaps. boxes, anything really.

perhaps it is a control thing she supposed as she balanced the bird.

today

it stays easily. she looks a long time, takes her phone

and photographs.

looks, looks

adds objects.

photographs .

waits for dusk, for the light to change

lowers and photographs. a different app and repeat

another photograph.

skulls .

there are a lot of skulls down here in the studio. a few any way. she is prone to her own excitement and exaggeration.

bird skulls found, placed, kept, some  under glass domes.

her father had done that now she follows his lead.

she remembers the time he had placed a mouse corpse under a bell jar to see how that worked

he was dismayed at the decay and mildew; the stench when he lifted that jar.

his experiment a failure.

she feels it is a still life.
you sent me seeds


it was your handwriting pleased me

your careful letter to advise patience

that most things happen in time


do you remember when i wrote to you

all in patterns and hints of a rhyme?


planted them five to a ***

some round the sides with one in the middle


then I finished the painting
you would not come back

except for visits

you came again in auto fill

last evening sat alone

we still cannot understand

there is no explanation for that

nor what you did

you are a ghost to us now

fading

we watched it on tv

you thought we were broken

yet we watch you solidly, bravely like joan

with just one comma throughout

we no longer come ragged

we watch you leave

i

tell you this

there are some do not believe


will not sleep while others will

and some


wish to be invited

some photos show nothing
as does the work i produce

yet it means something if
you go to look

properly
mrs ciano is home, well one of them.

some could say this is a forgery, yet

she was invited, mrs ciano is multiplied,

the answer is clear, may the fourth be

with you today.

we will empty the basket, put our things

back in place. mrs ciano is at home,



http://mrs-ciano.weebly.com/
in white

a mirrored door

all tidy in lockdown

and though it was bought expensive

placed inside it is lost to me now

so use one of the others in the morning

and throughout the day

felt something amiss as we banged into fatigue and slept one hundred years

crusty lipped we search for blistex

then

traditionally use the vaseline
good to get out

good to have company 


i expect 


things will feel brighter now

especially these dark mornings


in the surgery  the colour of the day

was green with yellow dispensers 

around


she found it enlivening while focusing

on the map of the world 

thought she could have written

world map 

yet

the pattern went wrong


later  she helped him shove the leaves

in the neighbouring bins as he proclaimed

he would indeed take all the blame

it became an interesting

heartening day yesterday

and

the bear slept sound
suggested at dinner, to make
a photograph splendid, i noticed

the same in paintings at exhibition.

looking out, the grave yard, noticed
a touch of colour by the white.

walked down to find a new grave.

then, i tidied yours.

you, who disliked a touch of red.
should like a big wooden fence
for to hide behind

away from the hedge police and others

mine is metal
the broken bits with wire

and hate sanding with a vengeance.

did you make it?
traces remain hidden for the most part
only to come out on particular
occasions
without  warning

she said it without  warning
& i was horrified
traces remain hidden for the most part
only to come out on particular
occasions
without  warning

she said it without  warning
& i was horrified
at tea.

traces remain hidden for the most part
only to come out on particular
occasions
without  warning

she said it without  warning
& i was horrified
they screamed that there was an accident waiting to happen on the stairs
my goodness

such a thing to see while out
and about

such a high up place to be

in a field near here
along the main road
at hengwrt are three little

horses that run together
close
like in a circus those days

now there are no animals
mainly clever folk being smart
or funny

i miss the circus top
over by the cob

there is no panto either

which is an abbreviation for
pantomime

there are the stories james

with audience participation

have you been to the circus?
we do so many things.

we are no longer afraid.

make the best of summer days,

winter follows.
so the falling days,
end today, winter waits,
and the songs, and words,
tunes are all to warm us,
and hold us safe
it is a long time since the sun shone in long and low

like that, says the bear.



does this mean it is spring now? it is such a pretty

room.



yellow.
as i rose,

a pink mist descended.

it was actually already there,



i like the sound of the action here.
only  stone

set before

set like fire in empty barns

#readthat

the social worker was a ***** back then

#didyoureadthat?
will watch the film on perception tomorrow alongside

another. red & white.  they say it will change my life.

meanwhile i **** boxes.
is there a hub bub
voices chattering more than usual

will there be large makings of coffee
there and fun?

we had fun yesterday with all the deliveries
opening boxes and moving water barrels
without the water

sploshed on the garden

today here james we shall
have a hub bub and chatter

you know

we shall have coffee and buns as
always
unless they ask for tea

you know

i never asked for earl grey
while staying at the hospital

not liking to make a fuss
under such circumstances

well you don’t
do you?
went to town yesterday, saw the signs of another
world. stood in the bank some time, only one
assistant these days.


the sun colours the clouds with empathy.
he was worried over the empty barn. #metaphor .it  survives,

some

way.
pale words a clue in the breathing

the stone set left in barns

caught the words hopefully in burning hands thinking that the sky was clear

though in the past

never so far away
there is a nice long beach and lovely views out to sea
the sea that is rising
there is a nice long beach and lovely views out to sea

the sea that is rising
tidy beach
soft sand and honest stones
to be fortunate here
old story remembered  from the beach
that warm afternoon while all were playing
relaxing
the hunted tried not to sleep
there
for fear of being robbed or found
yet there are paths,

walked, not just

by one or two.

or rabbits.


have young feet run here,

or solitary folk, thinking,



watching light hit water
Yet the days moved nicely. There were little troubles, nothing to diminish the beauty of it all.
there is a bear here that I have not mentioned a while as someone copied so he went quiet yet

still here
told him yesterday what happened and

he sat still and constant as always and was pleased

is pleased

there are no moose here nor noise as predicted

if there were
we would also have conversations
remember the dung beetle
gathering muck

and there are others
out there I am sure

for now the cat is asleep
in the cellar, goes down at dusk
thinks I don’t know

otherwise she is let out for
the night
hunting

or holed up somewhere else

she will scrabble up later
go out the back before

breakfast

this time
the recycling centre stays open
here

while I see
someone has changed the tune
somewhat

not so cold here today james

while the lorries drive the road
early

-1°
oh unsuitable paint you
covered lovely with no
comments as all are at
home

as advised
so,
must we write about it before we forget,
before  people come and disagree?

they have small waists and a  national costume
well things are looking up‘, says the bear,



‘now maybe they will believe in me,

like you do’



yes. yet.



i can see and hear you.
bone of the soul

earthy dark
below ground

no crystals here
bert is no name for a storm, more like a neighbour in green road that time back, or the uncle  i was told of yet never met.

grey flannels with braces and maybe a moustache.  growing vegetables down the back and interested in  pigeons.

even a foster parent  playing the guitar to make one feel comfortable

while feeding you a kipper  for supper.

perhaps then an apt name after all
the roads here are winding, the leaves are changing.

best not to bang the teapot down on serving, best
to tell the truth.
the roads here are winding, the leaves are changing.
best not to bang the teapot down on serving, best
to tell the truth.
we named it best eleven.        dark the day,          we are survived.

light came, we saw the green ness of it all.                          we live in the country.
a different aspect

it was good to have the windows
the doors open
air circulating
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