forgot to say
that one bear
here
now has silk floral pants

as in underwear
not pants as in america

here we say trousers

anyhow there is no photograph

the guy in the charity
says there are no doll’s
clothes in stock

do you say thrift?

6.20am

the challenge is rain

and we had some

had looked at the writing and chose a small one though i do like the long one

about wet days on the hill…

no bus arrived the timetable lady was contacted and she explained the bus was due at 2.30 pm that my internet were wrong and no one was bothered what it said at bus stops

seems that you are trouble, is that correct?
yes.

it seems you need to let the birds sing

we need to concentrate on detail

to describe things properly

need to

go there each year a while

to retain to remain in memory

need to

care for  little things

while out on a longer walk,

met him and he explained to me,

about walking there and back again

it has come warmer here
lately

so me and him cut the saplings
ropes pulling away from the wire

below the ivy threads the surface
to be pulled today as I tested the
method


which worked

plans are set
though news news ain’t good
any which way i look

i read about the dependency
he described
and thought he was more than that

we are not our issues nor experiences
we are more than that

each person a unique being

we were friends

more than that with promises that faded into silence.

i woke this morning the same

is all a pattern, that keeps us safely,        moves us

onward.

i spend thirty days writing

one eye closed, storm building.


you never know what goes on

behind the scenes.


there are pictures each day

some seem similar

some seem a memory now.


a daily challenge

said to come to bed quick

lay down and rest

the warm blanket cosy


make a nest

a bit ******* round

and hopefully it will all go away


i said to the bear, i said that

the washing was left out and I had not washed up yet


dear bear said it did not matter

that care will be taken

and we will not tell the little ones

for fear of worrying them


we watched the sun go down together

the fall is abrupt and possibly dramatic

related to weight & gravity

like a

black ink line ruled sharply down

ending with an abrupt grand splatter

looking up

see rainbows

&

the small plane still flies over

most days

duck egg blue

the ironmongers in town

at three seventy nine

we can walk there and back or there

and bus back you see

some photos show nothing
while paintings can come
more personal

nige.

you showed me your first car with the glove compartment

i
sat and thought about my situation

felt I could live in a car

decades later
learned that you did

no words to describe the mass,

the danger of it all, the hate  that

rises.

the parallel,

power house.

bone house.

you came again in auto fill

last evening sat alone

we still cannot understand

there is no explanation for that

nor what you did

you are a ghost to us now

fading

we watched it on tv

traces remain hidden for the most part
only to come out on particular
occasions
without  warning

she said it without  warning
& i was horrified

looked out last evening toward the grave

yard

saw the light

the machine making a place

it used to be manual
i know the method

bob told me back then
know the depth

he has retired
since the covid came

said he is seventy now and aches a bit
i heard

i smiled after what he said to me
after he touched my arm

he often did that

once he kissed my cheek

buried my husband

they say my brother
would walk to Sherry’s
for the stales with a pillow

case to carry they say

he never ate none on
the way home and i

wonder if that is true

later years gran would
take me in the shop
to buy fresh

she favoured the cream horns.

ideas ,
allelujas of creativity.

let the change come slowly,

join the group.

there may be after effects
yet

nobody suggested a flock of pigeons

at 2pm that snowy afternoon

and that notes will be made

no one mentioned sleeping
later than usual

those chin tattoos
that come all beautiful
and trendy

noticed the birds several days ago
i do like the flocks even murmurations

which happen more mid wales
by the pier

you know
i haven’t been there in such a while

matt hancock

i have been staying at home now

11 months

in total

:: numbers ::

did you see the fairy folk fluttering

moth mouths and mismatch


the day came clear with numbers

written backwards


did you know that or did you google to find out


touch lightly in case wings

disintegrate to dust


tread lightly my dears

count them

steadily

they flew up so quickly i could not catch them

and the bus too far away

someone commented these sunny days that glare on the phone  obscures the subject anyhow

a case of point and shoot blindly

yet I saw the swallow yesterday
heard it had arrived on social

hengwrt posted

later I went down the estuary
to walk the wood

the tide was up  so wandered back to see the cowslips  and the photographer knelt in wet grass

a real camera

james

came shiny
lovely at 45 degree angle

oh no
he said
this is the wrong one

fear

of this and that
of nothing in particular
that no one else  will
understand

pause like in breathing


I hope you don’t mind
and that is how it started

a whisper from you came

a good idea

to stop those dreams and headaches

the moon came bright with yet another name

it is a topic here and a memory

the privet

that is why it is labelled now

belonging to a social media group

with memories of where i lived

growing up

saw a photo of privet road, the corner

with a comma here

halfway up the hill was the coal and seed merchants and I used to go in with mum

cole and son

i guess she ordered coal not seed as there were five of us and not much time for gardening though gran’s mr palmer did next door

along the wall in tubs were the seeds to dip into , to feel

with permission and samples of the differing fuels

coal, coke, briquettes and nutty slack

i liked our visits there very much and had forgotten what was around the corner

saved the photo and sent it to my brother who replied and sent a current google view by return

he said he preferred the photograph which was nice as he does not always reply

i still like coal and seeds

some things don’t change

has beautiful spots james
while i like any pattern that includes spots
and any embellishment that is nice you
know

some things fade with time,
with sun and washings.
this one remained bright,
even glaring

that was good to hear that you had company in the garden yesterday, that he visited.

all was good for me and to say the book stayed in the bag all day.

it was refreshing to be with those on the same wavelength – a relief from the other world.

the garden was beautiful, they have such a talent with planting .

today the roofers return and I go to the ******* dump early.

well hello

you see I did write back to you

in

a different format

more like a letter now

asked me who will be afraid of our ghosts

ghosts of humans
when we are gone

as he left the garden
he said they may be working nearer home now.

like flags that are decorative
or bunting that represents a

happy time

i dislike borders
representations of separation

i dislike the cold
have wrote if that before

though not to you

i wrote that I fear slipping

breaking the soft words

of my life

*

there is news from the village

some is good and all there is tidy

while some comes shocking and hard

to bear

james

fighting the predictions

they did not know she had many, neither did she. just collected one item at a time, cared fully for         each one of them.                                                                                                          catalogued

is a fine line we walk,
gently avoiding peptides,only just a theory,

yet used independently,
alongside honest work,
for mending.

bought her tea set gently in parts
each week from woolworths and i still have
some of it

each morning, each morning write to you
as if you are here

still

as if talking to you still

look to the window , see the grass is cut again
flowers gone

still wonder

where you are

or nowhere?

look out again , see green cherries on the tree

12.37 pm.

.a mild day here with light cloudings.

.after chores and a quiet walk around the lanes watching the birds and other gentle creatures, went into town to the half price sale in the charity, i believe you say thrift .

.a repro can, gender based on gentlemen and a badge for John’s jacket which is deeply embellished already.

.chatted to Ianto on duty at the art place then bought boxes at Clive’s to hold the new paints tidy.

.lit stove and now a couple of hours painting.

.a photograph will follow.

looking up
see rainbows

the small plane still flies over
most days

stains the cup if left standing,

remember the hotel, 1964,

we used to scour them especially

round the handle, then the base.

mainly red,

comes a differing hue
with duck egg blue,

the ironmongers in town
at one seventy nine

when the smaller

people go into hiding

where will genius

raise its head again,

among the flat islands of regard?

pool of fear,
the fright of interrogation,
guilt,
i hear.
from where comes the mourning,
late afternoon,
and evening…

i told him when he asked about dinner
with his sister

we laughed and the wind blew things
away

Yet the days moved nicely. There were little troubles, nothing to diminish the beauty of it all.