were the markers always there
left by some other
wanderer?

on paper
In the studio
that was so precise and quite particular

thankyou

for your offered help

and saying you care for my welfare

all very much appreciated

i thankyou and say it is only temporary

seems there may be some connection
some call it a trigger.


some things leave us cold and wondering

do not wish to hide

do not wish to run

to take the boat and steer

to take the hiatus i fear

just now on you tube  saw

a photo of douglas bader

you know

the pilot

& you know

was surprised he looked nothing like

kenneth more

wild here this morning
wind in the chimney
rain on the glass

and talking of that
little lamp blew down outside


broke

never mind

sleep was rattled by weather
thoughts of war too hard to write

yet one day i will

i guess you know more than me

i don’t know what a tent shelter is

but I can imagine

so far few plans for a day unless it clears

james

flashing
nought nought


a sure sign that something
has occured


i will know more when i investigate

adrift, will the sky at last explode, or will this hate

continue pointlessly, for thousand thousands years.

numbers that cannot describe each particle of pain.

each ****** bomb that kills yet again.

one way,

and  another.

up poole hill

or down.

you kissed me.

an osprey flew down the estuary late
while I hung out the window
to watch the propellers spin

upwards

yesterday four private planes came
explained by the app

undeniably the white microlight
sounded odd while we shouted

words  lost in air

as a child walked down the airfield to see

the buckle broke
caused great difficulty
in walking

i always like planes Jim

overcast today

we were friends’

more than that with promises that faded into silence.

i woke this morning the same

today i work with the imaginary

and bless all the foxes, their pointy ears upward.

you know i thought she come to see me all those years ago
i mean she was not meant to leave

although there was no section that time

i think

she had to go back
yet there  was no phone at grans

no one came for her

i have no memory
no recall

of

what happened after she arrived
except she looked small and clean

and was upset

and it was a warm day
dusty in the alley

bless all the foxes, their pointy ears upward

yellow
drawn by the name not just the colour

and oh that name come true
on opening jim

is fading now
yet remains as the description

it was one of those books

you know the sort you read over

something about a house

i seem to remember

one of the favourites

have the set up until then

and i expect she has written more

since

there is a boat house up cregennan

another down bontddu

making good photographs

good dreams



drama change to night terrors

when you cannot shift

the weight bearing down from hell or somewhere

else

hell is a story for control

for controversy

they come here spouting the belief yet

never ask for mine



fairies.

light came, we saw the green ness of it all.                          we live in the country.

nothing felt right yesterday

not large stuff
nor small
and though like you to bed early

it rattled my brain until two
yet this morning awake as usual

surrounded in soft cotton
sheets

the duvet is white
and we huddle comfy

hope for a settled day

that is all

james

-6°
overcast

warning of snow and ice

serendipidy

all is honesty

i have a witness.

evidence produced.

don’t use a teapot

but evidently many do,

and cosy up together.

they don’t squish teabags, have leaves,

and stewing on the gas ring,

like mother, reducing it to

poison on my tongue.

i like the leaves to look at,

smell, like the small packet

we used to have, paper lined

in those days.

understanding

&

our bus broke down
in gellilydan

we sat
chatted
waited
laughed for 40 minutes

then another bus came

arrived home to notice
the car had a puncture

breakdown cover
covered  that

good here in that alone
is not lonely

fear
of this and that
of nothing in particular
that no one else  will
understand

today there is no little chocolate

they came in different shapes

which i could not always identify

but enjoyed in *******

if that word is permitted?

the empty box will be laid

reverently

in the stove

ready for lighting this afternoon

on the yesterday we fiddled with lights
and curtain poles

deliveries of gooseberries, bath oils

and the delightful tiny light bulbs
pink

which pleased me most
bought in a quantity of five

and i bet i don’t have a photograph
so will have to go get one

think of you, who made it special

and we leaped with the preparations, little folk.

he came round the back of the house, my beautiful

the coal house next to the toilet by our back door

once he fell and mother brought him in and his hands went to the walls and surfaces for support, making marks

i

fancy mother made him tea, with sugar

we moved house not so beautiful, my beautiful

upstairs, it was carried upstairs by the front door prepared with newspaper wads to stop the dust and me parked behind to count the bags.

always correct, failing the story of short loads and money on the side

now my beautiful, is delivered to the bunker outside and the delivery note put through the letter box for me

beautiful house for me yet

one never forgot the first

my beautiful.

rain comes here in waves
reflecting feelings

sometimes i can smell the sea
though some miles from the shore

maybe we need to check our numbers at the end, see if one or more are missing.          count them carefully, one side then the other.it is all a pattern, that keeps us safely,        moves us
onward.

a touch of red
suggested at dinner, to make
a photograph splendid, i noticed
the same in paintings at exhibition.

looking out, the grave yard, noticed
a touch of colour by the white.

saw it sailing by

at the night watch

clouds arranged dramatic.

let it go,

oh let it go,

let it sail free

is a tangled affair
too many people talking at once

it is a messy affair
paint smudges and runs

eventually all comes clear
one having the final say

predictions come and go

sometimes heard
not seen

days of our life

james

days of our lives

**

i feel some times that

the word unreasonable

is mine


though i react through

my reason

which comes clear

with my muddled

thinking


dare i laugh here?


who said that

&

what is it?


how will they know for thinking

comes silent inside our heads

unless we utter

which in my case is not often


who defines the different

level of thought


is there a manual

with charts and graphs

a litmus test to testify


that the thought got tangled


oh what is it like?

really

oh really!

no words to describe the mass,
the danger of it all, the hate  that
rises.
the parallel,
the home, the black chair.

power house.
bone house.

it is a long time since the sun shone in long and low

like that, says the bear.



does this mean it is spring now? it is such a pretty

room.



yellow.

duck egg blue

the ironmongers in town

at three seventy nine

we can walk there and back or there

and bus back you see

in white

a mirrored door

all tidy in lockdown

and though it was bought expensive

placed inside it is lost to me now

so use one of the others in the morning

and throughout the day

felt something amiss as we banged into fatigue and slept one hundred years

crusty lipped we search for blistex

then

traditionally use the vaseline

my goodness

such a thing to see while out
and about

such a high up place to be

in a field near here
along the main road
at hengwrt are three little

horses that run together
close
like in a circus those days

now there are no animals
mainly clever folk being smart
or funny

i miss the circus top
over by the cob

there is no panto either

which is an abbreviation for
pantomime

there are the stories james

with audience participation

have you been to the circus?

fear of falling,
breaking,
and losing
the soft words
of my life

best to be gentle with those and all other things…

some are wizards


some come predicted


while in bristol working

she asked the relationship because he liked

stuff of mine


on reflection see that she noted these things a lot

where

others would not have noticed


then a decision was made

by one party agreement by the other


parted


frying potatoes  for tea

skins gone crispy


clean the cooker  top


some draw

while others draw out


tick eater

:: hiding ::

hiding could be the ultimate solution

some of us have adopted as per the guidelines


remember how you turned your back as a child

thought no one could see you

as you could not see them?


either that or go in disguise

a devil of an issue

student of timetables

me

now with a free pass to most places

the official times

saved to my phone and noted on paper in my back pocket , nearly lost in the chip shop that only accepts cash

it fell yet we saw it and retrieved

1.28 pm the bus home so we gets there real early and waits

by the walker

he had trecked from forden the three miles up and down

used to the flatness of portsmouth wanted a ride back yet nothing forthcoming limped his return

1.50 pm with no bus arrived the timetable lady was contacted and she explained the bus was due at 2.30 pm that my internet were wrong and no one was bothered what it said at bus stops

on her say so

nipped round to the toilets then waited patiently to 2.30 when a bus arrived going the wrong way

spoke to the timetable lady who admitted being wrong that the 1.30 came in late possibly while i was in the toilets

the next correct and last bus now 3.30 pm

i wondered what to do if that one did not arrive and secured an unnecessary plan

fortunate to afford

when safely aboard thought of those recently waiting at airports to escape

my small adventure was as nothing

sat on the town hall steps in the late september sun

asked me who will be afraid of our ghosts

ghosts of humans
when we are gone

thankyou and say it is only temporary

balanced or tied with string

though overnight decided to use the glue gun

avoid them if you can, use other roads

then one day

the flags will find you.



turn & there

before you, before you

the flags have found you.



yellow, nodding, reminding.



the flags have found me.

time is limited these days.

those one admired in youth

devastate us now.

can we know all things, we

only went twice ?

the neighbour had put plants for sale outside and unlike last year they were all desirable so now are mine. much reorganizing and planting in the morning.

roofer arrives after nine and will take about 10 days he says. is friendly from the roof and no bother at all.

who defines the different
level of thought
is there a manual
with charts and graphs
a litmus test to testify
that the thought got tangled

work is steady, absorbsion
as if the outside world
is ended. looking up
find it has not.

stamped a hundred times
in rhythm,
war of the worlds.

a call, a message.

i was not excited.

it is forever autumn.

i have cake here, tony made it me,

last year he made a wooden glove box, as my red x one overflowed, the year before a tiny clothes hanger.

only yesterday i hung the knitted clothes i bought in pickering, no room for the pants, i pinned them to the wall. he is brenda’s husband.

she likes victoria sponge,

too.

above

tiny little bird

holding one seed.



the trees were dead along the road.



some one sings.



the wren.

a whisper from you came

a good idea

to stop those dreams and headaches

the moon came bright with yet another name

maybe we need to check our numbers at the end, see if one or more are missing.          count them carefully, one side then the other.it is all a pattern, that keeps us safely,        moves us
onward.

talk goes on all day, about the heat,
the rain and drizzle,
no thoughts on the shipping
forecast. words red, remembered.

the bird, the boy, the machine,
there is only air between.

a tragic happening when

history and the day collide

each taking care of their own

as we should

darker hours

still

the mind wanders