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softcomponent Oct 2014
the brain muffles itself in fuzzy
screech-fall-flows. writers block,
zoned into oblivion, thought anti
-depressed and always sleepy with
a whistle with a wary worried walk
beyond the words it read in quiet little
head-room office space. hitherto unknown
was the minds capacity for deserted lethargy--
a battlefield full of intuitive feeling gone and
warbling like a bird with no verbalistic functions--
speaking in musical notes and tonal chirp's-- the
reality of things can only be understood as an over
-extended staring contest and our eyes have been teary
since the birth of the

    

                                     warmblooded  





mouse.
softcomponent Sep 2014
the adderall dripping down the back of my throat tastes like sour oranges. little patches of sooty blackness caress the strange dips under my eyeballs as a sign of overworked modernity eating filth to break the fast of a dinnerless evening. cars... more and more cars... glide up Johnson Street on direction to an anywhere packed with reason and meaning, travel-wrung after hours of work and play like Greek tragicomedies written in an Indo-European language lost to the passage of endless time in the Urals. Trailing behind us, the Cossack signaled for the rest of his entourage to approach a little slower if the city were to be won from the Mongol horde approaching Baghdad at the eastern gate (A.D. 1258) and within the little eyelid movies drizzling through my mind every time I close my eyes, I heard screams and scrambled hashtags pleading for humanitarian assistance.. pleading for a chance to rescue the Islamic Golden Age from the brink of its twilight battle with obliviously obvious tired-eyed savagery reveling in the soft moonlit warmth of Mesopotamian beachsand. Blood was being worn as some sort of slimey undergarment, leveling the entire populace to a place so far gone, the mind could no longer discern the universe as a set of tetris patterns blocked and connected with a light string of consciousness, the light of intense college-student starvation as if tuition were the bloodlands trapped between ****** and Stalin.

There isn't much to be said for the way she used to dance. It was sort of like a jimmied cow-- I say 'jimmied' in the context of a cow, out late, midwestern meadow, center of the winter, shivering... shivering so profusely, it was almost as if it were dancing. Dancing, jimmied, silly, frightened, escapist sentiments pulsing through his beef belly blood as if he were capable of some sort of latent sentience, some sort of ability to discern love from hate, black from white, ethical standards from matters of the spirit. That's the way she danced.

She'd shiver to the beat like a dangling mango, misplacing herself in the music. She would cry a little, too. You could see the tears in her aura, flagrantly asking to be left alone. Flagrantly leasing themselves to the moment and whatever delight the moment could afford.

She asked me; "so, what do you look for in a girl?"
I said: "a decalcified pineal gland."

She jingled her keys in front of me, and smiled. I lost myself in someone elses talking points; across the room, I could hear the chatter of some teenage lip-reader repeating her every word line-for-line. It was 12:58 AM, the Mongols began their destruction of the Abbasid libraries. I just stood there, amazed at the near ventriloquism of this strange pretender. Was he, perhaps, pulling her strings? Was she, perhaps, a puppet? Was there, perhaps, an instant connection between these 2 brains on the quantum level, one effecting the other, regardless of the distance in space and time?
softcomponent Sep 2014
i don't spit it down the throat of every
girl who makes me feel less dead.. even
if death inside is a starred little sidenote
in the CIA World Factbook, it's some
-thing sacred in my jeans and undershirt
heart-pang-thump boombox screams for
help. I read deep into the books and so arrange
the angry letters to live again inside the head of
someone else who is 'out-there' in the letter-fed
litterbox of word salad, doused in the vinaigrette
of mossy, ancient, cradle-laden sadness. I wonder
if the world is made of sadness and my pain is just
a girder-- I wonder if the world is made of loss and
my heartache just a brick all sunset-red forever within
the orangey dusks of Eastern London urban suburb
industry-- and yet it couldn't be as loss implies an absence--
yet an absence might be matter in the vein of metaphysics
as metaphysicality.. all of it blaring sirens and quiet nights
alone in frothy evening heat, not enough aesthetic to this
new bedroom, lacking dresser-drawers desktop for god
-sakes you still live outta your suitcase ready to **** yourself
and bring your clothing with you like the pharaohs of Giza--
whoever left you stranded on this planet must've taken one
last glance on backwards to whisper rather sympathetically
'good luck' before the tryptamine caused him or her or 'it' to
fade back into the radiowave of the grave with life so condemned
to speech and distinction, you would never be lost in the fade...
what was there to 'say' anymore, except "hey everyone watch
my scars start to bleed *** they're scars we keep cutting on
sharp little ridges pretending they're gonna get better and
better and better again-- hey everyone pay attention to my
pain *** I'm not waving ******* I'm drowning.. I'm not
waving ******* I'm DROWNING"
softcomponent Sep 2014
all vaugely demand echo
dead echo sideways all
vaguely insight meaning
unto lingering match-struck
scars says reminders are just
enough to forget. filters con
-secrated like saints to canon lore,
cardinals spell sociopathy in a simple,
sym-pathetic phrase: "Sociopaths have
no regard whatsoever for the social contract,
but they do know how to use it to their advan
-tage. And all in all, I am sure that if the devil
existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for
him."
softcomponent Sep 2014
that's what it
is, I keep mo
ving my toes
to convince m
yself i feel hap
py
softcomponent Sep 2014
the wind was like a sidewinder
missile. desert below kept itself
cratered and ancient, 'fraid of
some explosion from a Greater
Deity of Temporal Landlock.
Where the lesser of us saw death,
the better of us saw livers. Where
the lesser of us saw loss, the better
of us felt drunk. The learn-ed belief
in the existence of the Human Race
kept calling itself back to base with
tinnitus raging in its ear-drums:
"the dreams of the elder chiropractic
surgeon are the same as the dreams
of the youthful architect: design; that's
it. design."


melded, eaten, forgotten, and left to the
bunchy blood of 'ask,' the marauder saw
herself as complete. flawed within bound,
angry within reason, there was a little angel
on her shoulder, asking: 'sundown? this is a
time for bringers. never those who forget.'
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