The summer air, I fear, brings a sort of mania.
Starting with the breath of mother nature's warm breeze
through my car window, and ending with my face pressed into the ground.
A sort of emotional and drug induced black out. In between is a madness.
Flowers bursting from their shy buds inside the bones of my arms.
Fireworks up the filaments and out the anthers.  
Sparking the tribal chants and patterns trying to live inside
my white blood cells. Forcing them to expand
and break, releasing a fever for sun and soil.
A sort of combustible stage production inside my veins.
Yes.  The summer air, I fear, brings an awful mania.

Explosions in the sky
Wildfires in my eye
As I realize my composure's
Slowly dying

Alligator tears
And puppy dog fears
Bring the children
To the edge of madness

As I reside
A bedside manor
Filled with fears
Ghost stories
Lies

Break me down
Freddie Brown
And bring motivation back
Escape, Escape
Away I say
And Press Enter to confirm

I hope that someday
I'll write a hook
To please the great
Ear Worm

Mothers don't allow their young daughters
to experiment with make-up until old enough
but I had no choice but to bring a brush to my face
and paint the canvas to hide each blemish.
Long sleeves, loose scarves, fitted jeans,
anything to hide the daily playground ritual.  
The swing I experienced was not hanging from chains
but rather from the tightened fists of someone I once knew.
I found solidarity underneath the weeping willow tree
as we sobbed together in the cool air of November.

Today I picked up a pencil in a pathetic attempt to banish all the bad thoughts.
I wrote about you.
How we haven't been talking.

I wrote about my dad.
About how I don't want to hate him

I wrote about how I stopped getting high with my friends.
And how I should be focusing on important things

I wrote about how I stayed the night at my best friends house.
And how I took too much ambien and how it made me cry all night.

I meant to get all these thoughts out But now I'm swimming in them.

'I slept, and dreamed that life was beauty;
I woke, and found that life was duty.
Was thy dream then a shadowy lie?
Toil on, sad heart, courageously,
And thou shall find thy dream to be
A noonday light and truth to thee.'

another day of exhaustion
after another sleepless night
not knowing where to run
and too mightless to fight.

the world around me seems blacker
than it did yesterday
but with these storms in my mind, thunder, lightning,
the dark is here to stay.

no more reason to live,
no reason to go on
I sit here all alone
waiting for the dawn

when the sun rises,
and when the moon fades
I'll still be here alone
being stabbed with thorns and blades.

once upon a time, life was hopeful,
and I had reason to push through
but now I'm here, all alone,
and all I have is you.

but will you ever realize?
will you ever even care?
will you ever admit it's love?
Would you even dare?

it's true, my answer would be no,
for I am slight and weak.
I would merely zip my mouth
like a bird who'd lost its beak.

but you are strong, you are wise,
you are brilliant and bold.
you- you are my one true love;
my dearest treasured gold

it's true- I love you, I will not lie,
please believe and know.
and if, by chance, you feel the same,
please just tell me so...