you know better than anyone
that I cant say no to eyes laced
with innocence, kind of like yours,
and I am all too often the
first to close doors and burn bridges.
I'm sitting next to you, pretending
to be fine, as if each breath you take
doesn't reopen sores in my
empty chest, leftover from just
before I forgot what it was like
to feel, from a time when I was
begging for salvation from anything
that reminded me how real and true
it was that you were gone. You left me,
but i'm the one who left myself
alone. nobody made me sit by
the phone, staring at our picture on
my shelf. Except...your heartbeat sounds
just as it always did, which reminds
me that, as soon as I got rid of
my pain, I wanted it back. And your eyes
still feel like rain; your lips still
don't understand why anything other
than "I want to die" tastes like a lie

You are a rainstorm in an Arizona summer.
I don't know whether I should hide
Or bathe in you.

It was in a dream of mine
That maybe your light could outshine
This aching darkness of mine
(I longed to be just fine)
That your presence could illuminate
The deepest parts of my being,
But any peace of mind
And any hopes to be fine
Are sitting on top of my
Reflection in a line, ready
To fight my demons

I've gotten a sense that my
Darkness can't be outshined, so I
Try my best to hide in the shadow
You made just for me; I'm incomplete,
And I know it; I'm close to the
Edge...and now I'm falling. It won't
Be long before I hit rock bottom.
I will soon be long forgotten,
Because all that I am is
Your shadow on the wall, waiting
For wherever this fall takes me.
I've already lost it all

I will never find the one who can
Outshine my darkness, because I
Am a shadow on the wall; I
Am darkness in the abyss that
You made. If you outshined my
Darkness there would be nothing left
To see

You couldn't outshine my darkness
Because all I am is the darkness
Made by your light, so I struggle
For everything I think I'm worth,
Which isn't very much, for a
Fight that can't be won

Don't tell me you're sorry, because
Your June smile and starry eyes are
The sun, and I am stuck on the
Dark side of the moon; you did this,
And it's none of your business what
I've become

I used to be on the dark side of the
Moon, someone living in the depths
Of a reflection of your light,
Pulling the tide, but I've come to
Be the dark side of something even
Darker. I've gone to a place where there
Is no need for light, because, since your
June smile reached a mile into my
Aching chest, you had the power to
Ruin me, and I can't live in the
Shadow of the reflection of where
Your light should- and used to - be,
Because,without your starry eyes,
All I see are lies, and the world
Is a darker place without you; I hope
You're miserable, too, for leaving me
To wallow in a place where I
Never again will see your face,
In a place where there is no light,
Because I can't bare the sight of
Any light that doesn't come from
You ( I'll see you soon ).

Heaven can just as easily
Be a person as a place,
And loving someone does not
Stop you from hating yourself

--for me, heaven is freedom;
Heaven is touching your face,
But there is not a lot i can do
Except stare at our picture on the shelf

It was never hard to find the words, to me,
And loving you was the easiest
Thing i've ever done, until you made yourself free
From the pain and the hurt with some pills,
And if you were sent to hell, send me straight
          there,
But if you are in heaven....you always
Were an angel, but not to me

You wondered if people
ever thought about you,
and you never got your
answer; i'm sorry that
you're like me...i'd never
wish that upon anyone,
but i'm not sorry i
kissed you. I'd do it again...
would you? Smile and sigh
...i'm excited for the
day when you break my heart,
because i promise the
pain is better than nothing.
Nothing is worse than nothing,
i wouldn't wish nothing
upon anyone. I'm
on my roof looking at
the stars..comparing them
to yesterday and they
don't stand a chance, but the
moment is fleeting; you'll
be gone soon enough. until
then i can't promise i
won't let you fall, but i
can do my best to catch you.