Standing in the middle of the street, the sky black and starless, it is late, but the night is filled with possibility as drizzling raindrops reach down to kiss our cheeks and noses and eyelids

I see nothing but you

My eyes locked tightly to yours, everything around us is still and quiet as more rain trickles down and a gentle breeze swifts through the air
We don't pay regard to any of it because the only thing that matters is the fixed gaze our eyes hold as our arms are fastened tightly around each other
We cannot look away, captivated by the other's presence

We are completely immersed in the moment when you finally open your mouth to whisper something softly to me

We both lean forward, letting the splendor of the moment take control, pulling us closer and closer to each other until our lips touch for the first time, forming perfectly to each other, molding feelings into the movements of our mouths locked tightly together
A voice cries out inside of me, aching with desire and composure, saying, "Never let go, hold me tight''

We pull away in a modest state of shock due to the enchantment of the anticipated and formal rendezvous of the two compelling and winsome pairs of our lips
Our eyes are once again riveted to each other, and twinkling grins have effortlessly manifested across both of our spry and inviting faces

I can feel the exuberance and elation of the moment beaming between us as your hands reach up to gently grasp each side of my face and your thumbs softly caress each of my cheeks
I could swim in the looming sensation and passion for eternity

Our lips meet again, my insides fluttering, slowly igniting with a feeling no words can describe, a feeling I yearn to seal into a jar for safe keeping and hold next to my warm and beating heart forever
It all feels intrinsic, natural, as if we have been doing it for ages
And I feel whole and beautiful, hoping we never have to let go

Kissing you is an easy thing, it feels comfortable, undemanding
It feels safe, making it seem we are one entity
Like we are two bodies with two hands and two pairs of lips but one soul and one heart
And I cannot help but wonder if this is the person I have been longing for and anticipating my entire life, dreaming of and wondering if we would ever meet

I cannot force myself to break your gaze or my body to move away from yours, feeling whole and beautiful once more

Our lips touch for the last time and then pull away timidly,
Longing for each other
Hoping to meet again

While on this voyage
keep your windows clean because
if you break down
you can still enjoy the view
as the world goes by because
about the time you learn
to make the most of life
most of it is gone but age
is a matter of the mind
- if you don't mind,
it doesn't matter.

realize that anyone
can get old,
all you have to do
is live long enough
because it takes a long time
to become old.

Learn that it is not about
getting a chance but it is about
taking a chance and understand
that we are strong
because we are weak
and we are beautiful
because we have flaws
and we are fearless
because we have been afraid
and wise because we have
been foolish.

As the world goes by
I am left with coils of memory
as the time flies whether
we are having fun or not
but at least I have learned
to know the difference between
a good love and a bad love
and that is simple
- a good love never ends
and in the end love is the only thing
we are left with after all
is said and done.

I have gone from long hair
to longing for hair
and from acid rock
to acid reflux and from
rocking out with the Rolling Stones
to being worried about
having kidney stones
but I still rock and roll
and will till I die and
that is no lie.

I don't know when or how
it happened and
I never saw it coming going
from tight bulging muscles
and a flat stomach and
a full head of brown  hair
now replaced with folds
and salt and pepper thined out hair
along with a gray beard
and bones that need care
and fall I don't dare.

Once upon a time
eyes like an eagle able to
pick off a VC at 1200 yards
with one shot and one ****
in a far away war time won't forget
in that far away place
so long ago but now
my focus is slow
and I wish I didn't know now
what I didn't know then.

If only I could stop my mind
but a man is not old
as long as he is seeking something
and growing old is nothing
more than a bad habit
which a busy man has
no time to form.  

Know that you are young
at any age if we are still planning
for a tomorrow and as the world
flies by we have to realize
that it is better to be hated
for what you are
than to be loved
for what you are not
and remember that you were
born an original so
don't die a copy.             Jon York          2013

Two years and counting,
I know it’ll never be the same,
I can’t bring myself to answer your calls, far less for saying your name.

The incident remains unresolved,
In a little box buried somewhere in the abyss of my mind
Like some sort of twisted memory, one that I have resolved to hide.

The thing is, I was never angry at you,
Never cursed you to the depths of your personal hell,
Never so disgusted at the words you spat at me,
I shall cast no blame for me retreating into my shell.

Because it still hurts when I think about it,
When I think about how you thought I didn't care,
When you accused me of not loving you,
When you blamed me for not being there.

And it ***** how it felt like I was forbidden to laugh,
To smile during one of the most exciting times in my life,
Did you know I pushed everything aside for you?
Just to walk with you during your time of strife?

It breaks my heart to know it wasn't enough,
A pain I may actually take to my grave,
My failure to help you may never leave me
And for that I may never be the same.

I still feel guilty, for actions unbeknownst to me.
But I had bitten off more than I can chew,
Couldn't you see, even in my silence?
I was always there, and I would make sacrifices for you?

And I can’t seem to get any reassurance,
From others who tell me that you are wrong
I just keep thinking that I failed you,
Yes, even after so long.

My fault was probably letting you become overly dependent,
And like a fool I was unable to see:
Taking on your battles with such fervor and determination
Exposed my greatest vulnerability.

So I’m here with a festering wound
While you seem to be doing alright,
But believe me when I say, I’m truly happy that you’re doing okay
I’m glad that you've found the light.

Though you apologized on numerous occasions,
So eager to make us right.
I can’t go back there,
I can’t give you back this knife.

Because right now, though I’m happy,
I’ll always be a little sad,
I’ll always worry if I’m making the same mistake,
And second-guessing myself is driving me mad.

You make me want to try a little bit harder,
But give everything up at the same time.
It’s like I can’t find my bearings anymore,
Too long have I imprisoned myself for this supposed crime.

So you see, in the end
My silence was never about you.
It was an attempt to fix myself,
It was an attempt to figure out what I must do.

To find some way to release this guilt,
Just as I have released you,
For both our benefits, to find some way to forgive myself,
Just as I have forgiven you.

I can’t go back to being ‘normal’
Because this is something I’m unlikely to ever forget.
But don’t feel like my actions are writhed in anger
Don’t feel like every memory is tainted with regret.

We can’t meet now, perhaps sometime in the future we will,
But I feel this is for the best,
I have to learn from this experience, I have to move on
And accept the fact that I've put this relationship to rest.

I pray for your continued contentment,
And always the best of health.
But now it’s time I take care of me,
And hope that I can somehow restore my strength.

For all the good times gone before and all the lessons learnt,
I thank you with all my heart, but now I’m ready to go.
I know I’ll find freedom, however long it takes,
Somewhere along this road.

Until then,
Sincerely,
*Me.

I am fine, Until . . .
That gentle voice - pretending helpfulness
Maliciously whispers
In my inner ear
And suddenly my world is shaken to the roots

In the smoke of its lies I am almost convinced.

My friends are
Untouchable strangers
Who only tolerate my presence
because telling me to *******
Would be awkward for them.

My intelligence dissolves
Until I am nothing more
Than the fool that inspired
every blond joke ever invented.

I become a nuisance
Even to myself
And wonder why I should
even bother
Trying to make it to 50

Sometimes I try to fight back,
Using reason and light humor
To beat back the dark monster.
But even though I can usually force it
back into its dank hole,
It mocks me while backing off
And shoots a parting remark before
Sliding into the depths
To await its next opportunity at my sanity.
And I am left
hurt and confused.
Trying to clean the doubt out of my mind
As if it were a small bird rescued from an oil spill.

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

Children often overlook
The things they never searched for,
When ignorance blissfully blinds them
Until the day they are lost,
When reality robs them
And they stumble upon
The treasures of Pandora’s Box;
The things they never searched for.

I lose matches against
myself where no fists
are thrown, just simple
thoughts, just do it
just do it because it
feels good there and
today it left me in a heap
on the stairs, as i switched
in and out, the part of me
of good faith desperately
taping the split ends back


So god, I don't know
how to control her.