im a mess in a broom handles world,
swept off my feet for any pretty girl,
im a child writing names in wet cement,
singing songs as permanent as sound can get.

less words have more meaning.
simplicity unlocks a broken heart.

i miss your heart beat,
it helps me sleep,
the only treatment for my self inflicted self defeat.

wash my sins and tumble dry,
a coin is on what most rely,
give two sniffs and call it clean,
have no cares long as it gleams,
pay no attention underneath
stitches come apart at seams,
wicked seamstress knows my secrets,
fixing pieces now she keeps it,
***** hamper tucked away,
filled with words too scared to say,
save them for a rainy day,
burn them all to keep it safe,
unload bags like charity,
smother squeels like parakeets,
flapping, flailing, i repeat,
same mistakes most every week,
wander back to laundry mat,
separate my whites from black,
poison bleach is my combat,
social accepted attack,
convinced its clean but its a lie,
wash my sins then tumble dry.

is love supposed to be desperate,
helpless and confused,
wrapped in the blankets of emotion,
passionately seduced,
euphoria and depression,
aren't that different after all,
one thing separates them,
it was you all along,
sprinkled with affection,
my love for you only grows,
trickling down the spine of perfection,
dripping into the soul,

i dont know what to do,
cause im so in love with you,
just say you love me too...

i try to impress you even though you are not around,
i undress you every night when i lay down,
to sleep,
i dream,
you come,
to me,
30 months and yet you still wont seem to leave,
i walked away because i thought its what we need,
but in the end it all just comes down to greed,
i wanted to win,
i lost your skin,
when did this love affair disintegrate to sin,
i had a secret plan that maybe i would take you back,
5 years would pass and maybe we'd forget the facts,
but i realize you'd do the taking i now lack,
how could you trust me after the way i use to act,

and i know,
after all these years,
ive realized my fears,
i deserve the tears

is it wrong to miss you,
wish i could kiss you,
20 months later it still an issue,
maybe its physical,
but im still miserable,
iv touched other skin but my heart is unfillable,
ive tried to run tried to hide,
but you cant escape your unconscious mind,
ive had to stand my ground and face it,
unravel my thoughts right down to the basics,
thinking about you like it or hate it,
stuck in a prison that i created,
though it appears im gathered and calm,
and carry on as though nothing is wrong,
bite my tongue and swallow the pain,
never make that mistake again,
i cant be mad, i did this to myself,
i only wonder, if there's anyone else