Don’t you see
I’m so in
Love with you
Listen,
I can’t live without you
And I wish you were
Near me now

I love you baby
I love you
As long as the longest day
As big as space
Growing and changing
Expanding in new ways

I love you even when you are far away
I close my eyes
And I love you
I love you so much

Today
I hope you and her
Drive each other
Bat **** crazy
I hope even in small happiness
There is emptiness
Today I am wishing
You get everything you deserve

I know if I heard your voice
I’d simply melt
arms around me would
Be my death
I’m getting old
You are getting old
Is this what it takes
I think of you every day

I never realized how much you look for me
In everyone

****
I wish it were me
Instead of her
I love you so much

When you read my poems
Does it feel like your talking to me
If you close your eyes right now
Can you hear me
Whispering in your ear
Can you remember what my voice sounds like?

I miss you, I love you, I miss you, I love you
Talking to you is something irreplaceable
My soul lights on fire with simple words
And I’m reminded
I’m never alone with you here in this world
Even when you are silent
Isn’t it a fact that we always find each other
I love you, I miss you

I am between you
And my passions
I buried them a long time ago
In the backyard of our home

Its getting harder to keep my feet grounded
I might float up and away

I can’t possibly understand how it could be anyone other than you
I thought maybe we finally had our chance
Our day beneath the honeysuckle
I miss you
Trying to figure out why you’d stop
Talking to me
I want to finally share that meal
So much time has passed and
I’m almost 30 now
Please call me
Please call me

Here I say
And I hand you the loaded gun
You promise you’ll never pull the trigger
But as soon as you can blink
We are fighting
You don’t even think
Boom
The gun goes off

I hope it all makes it’s way to you
Some way
Some how

I feel nothing
I feel so far away
And then I think of your sheets
And your bed
And your skin
And the walls at night
Sliding in out of bed
All next to you
I can smell you

She’s there now
I wonder if sometimes
When her back is turned
Does she look like me
And that’s what you wanted

I just
want to hear your voice

Tired of being used
For parts to fill
Yourself with
Use up until
You feel whole
Taking pieces of me
Taking pieces of me
Empty
Every time you leave me

I was ready to be done now
And I never wanted to be ready again
Ready to be ready
And not done
I’m tired of them
Putting their hands
And words all over me
I’d rather be alone
They take up my time
To be free

Go back to the hole
You crawled out of
Thanks for letting me know
He misses me

I take what I can get
While you give it
I think about how I missed having that
Valentines date with you last year
I took my mom to Eddie V’s instead
And I thought about why you disappeared again
I love you so much
I’ve been waiting for another chance, and I was unsure if you had even been interested in one
Life doesn’t feel as good when you aren’t in it
Even when it’s good
I know it could be great
All of these meals and memories
I want to share them with you
And from the moment you left your wedding
I’ve only ever loved you
Or tried to find people who remind me of you
I don’t want to wait to see you again
I want to hug you and touch your hands
I want to talk to you for hours

Sadness usually consumes me
At some point
It’s like I’ve been running a marathon
Things are getting personal
But I can clear my mind
If I try hard enough
I only get sad
Sometimes
You can’t say that out loud though
People start to worry
It’s days like that I wish
We all just said what’s on our minds
I’m ******* miserable
How about you
Maybe miserable as well
I start thinking
Why aren’t people more honest
Why does honesty terrify them
So much

I hope you think about me
Every
Single
Day

Silent moves
Make me
Move beneath me
Hot breath
Flickering like fire
Feel the flames
Devour you whole
And enter your soul

Emptiness
Dryness
Fills up these lines
More than passion has
In the last
Two years
I’m on my own
Wandering the dessert again

There isn’t at least one moment
Where I don’t think of you
On any day
Even when you are away

You will always stop
Time
For me

I loved you
It took the air out of my lungs
When she looked at you
Looked at you
Like sweet ripe fruit
Juicy for the taking
I loved you
I loved you
I loved you
But it didn’t ******* matter
“I hope it works out, I’m glad you had a good time”
Can I tell you
Lies eat me open
From the inside out

Oh to be waiting around
On another boy
Another boy
Who didn’t see me right there

Sometimes
Sometimes I miss you so much
That I think I’m not gonna make it
I don’t know how I’m gonna
Get through that day without talking to you
But then I do
And the sun rises
And the sun falls
Somehow I keep doing it all

Well,
There we go Dillan,
Another year passed us by and we were not together, I have not heard from you since April, and so soon
It will be a year since I’ve spoke to you
Do you still read these?
I doubt it, I sense how you have thought to cleanse yourself of whatever it was we did
But,
**** me if I don’t still think about you

I will die
and you will die too
so will the rich man,
the poor man,
the sad man, and
the happy man
everyone dies,
but that is what we have in common,
death is what we have in common,
common man.

Hear ye
Hear ye
Two sham marriages
Instead of one happy one

Loving you is like faith
I can’t see you, hear you, smell you
But I know you are all around me
I wake up and feel you enveloping my space
I wish you knew how much I endlessly and eternally loved you

I just want to know
Why I wait
Wait wait
In this life
Too

Today I don't want to open my eyes
But I do
And the world still remains the same as if I never had

Have you ever
Laid in bed next to
someone you love

And prayed for
Your true love to
Fall out of the sky

Thinking of you
Always thinking of you
When I close my eyes
I can feel you close yours too
And for a moment
We are together
Missing each other

If you had told me
I’d lose my sanity in my 20s
Play
Mental
Slip
And
Slide


I would have asked you
To **** me right then
Do me a favor
Do everyone a favor

I miss you
In a way so deep
It’s woven into me
It has its fingers so deep in my soul
I yearn and yearn for you
I wonder when we will
Run into each other
Again

Lie in your bed
Alone but
Never alone
Lie in it

Pick up the phone
Call me
Please

I miss you

I remember your cinnamon smelling bed
And your computer desk right in front of it
Blue light illuminated the four white walls around us
I miss you

There is a certain level of respect
You must carry for the person you built a life with
Experienced things with
But they will never be the one who pops into your head
When you read poetry about love
Or songs about things you can’t put into words
I’d move mountains
And split the sky
Just to be next to you

-please talk to me-

If I could dial you now I would
A speed dial situation for sure
Remembering a voice is so strange
Isn’t it
I remember your life and the way you say certain phrases
There’s no one else I’d rather be having a full hearted conversation with
Don’t make me wait until
I’m a raisin the sun

I’m reeling between these messages
Because I know
Somewhere between our favorite shows
And books
And I miss yous
That there is a deep deep love

Do you think I’ll be better
Better ever?
I am afraid of death
and dying.
Nothing, is a deep leap to hop into.
Nothing.
I’ve never been fond of heights.
Will I make it to 30?
Do you think I’ll ever be better?
Can I be better ever?
I want to be normal
I’m tired
I could use a rest
I want to be like the rest
I am afraid of death
And dying.
Do you think I will ever get better?

I wish I could know you
Maybe some other time
Maybe some other life

I’ll daydream about you for now

I don’t need him
He don’t need me
And we find each other beneath
Raw sheets
Please answer me
I say
Why would it be that way
He say
But he never calls
The next day

I am mourning
Mourning that I won’t lay down
For you anymore

I wake up now and I forget
But sometimes, in the early hours
I wake up and I can’t understand how you are miles away laying next to her
I roll over and stare at the ceiling
The whir of the fan in the background
The popcorn of the ceiling being kissed by the dimmed lamp from the 90s that has a turn dial on it
I sigh and I think to myself
“Why do I have these miserable thoughts and he gets to be so happy”
And then I think
Maybe this is why I have these miserable thoughts
I cared far too much
And he never cared enough
It’s been a year now-
So it’s easier
The mornings and hours I spend on them now
Are few and far between

I wish so badly,
To not know small things about you,
Give me something that makes me dislike you

Once upon a time
I almost ran away with you
We almost made a home together
We almost met our lives in the middle

We weren’t even salvageable children
But foreboding adults

There you stood at the altar
And it was never decided
Did I rip you away from it?
Or did you step away from it?
“We all made our choices”

But we still ran with it,
and
We almost did it,
We almost got there,
We were Icarus,
And our inextinguishable love,
It was the sun,
We burned up in it

I hate our phone calls now
I hate the spaces in between the small talk
“How is everything” I love you “******”
I hate being here while you are there
I hate how almost isn’t quite enough
For it to be all the way

I love you

If I take it day by day
And no one mentions the word longing
I don’t ache for you
Anymore