She said she worries
But I’m not worried
I want to breathe her air
And wrap her around me

She is beautiful
The Sun sets in her eyes
And rises with her smile

And God,
I am so lucky to know her

And be thankful you are alive
Because
Without you
They would have never met at all
If it hadn’t been for you
He’d still be getting married
And they would just be coworkers

And in either scenario
You realize
With or without you
He’d have gone on
Life would have gone on

You are lucky.
Lucky I’m willing to crawl back into my safety
Away from you.
Lucky I haven’t told her everything again.
You are lucky.

Nevermind
I take it all back

I keep waiting
Patiently waiting
For him
To be aching
And feigning for me
Waiting for when he decides
He cannot get enough of me

I’ll turn to dust
Before my dreams turn to
Stone

She spelled suppose
As
Sappost
I hope you’re happy with that

I get solace in knowing,
even if you keep pretending my blood
isnt yours,
I am
I am.

In the dark
You only have your soul.

Time still
Changes everything

Even if you choose
To stay still

I am between you
And my passions
I buried them a long time ago
In the backyard of our home

Its getting harder to keep my feet grounded
I might float up and away

Who are we
But
Grains of eroded rock
Sand
On an even larger rock

No buildings
Out of bone
Though

Here we are
Trying to love each other
The way the people in the
Picture inserts
Looked like
They loved each other

When would we admit it to ourselves
When will you let me be free?

I am trying not to change
In the way rocks remain forever
Only weathered
I am made of flesh, bone, and blood
But I am still finding pieces of myself
Blown away

Small things only mattered now
We take pieces of ourselves for granted
I am telling you
When you lose chunks so big
A quiet night in
With small conversation
Is something special and dear to you
I wish I could give you my eyes
To see what I have seen

But then maybe
You'd just give them back to me
I think that's why most of the time
I would rather be asleep
Small things only mattered now.

Though the setting may change

The background remains the same

Wasting your breath

There are some things

That will only change

With age

Cascade down me,

The way clouds caress,

A mountains rough edges

And you’ll rot
In some
Dead end town
At some
Dead end job
With an okay house
Maybe you’ll have “things”

And I’ll forget you
I’ll forget everything about you
And your
Little life
with your
Little family
I’ll have my own
Big life
There won’t be space for
You.

Go back to the hole
You crawled out of
Thanks for letting me know
He misses me

I stared at my phone today,
Thinking I might call you,
But I never did
I’m too scared

You know how it feels without me
How can you live with this
Don’t you miss my voice
Don’t you miss my laugh
I miss you
I get so lost in you
Please
Please
Don’t tell me I’ll
Never
Feel like you made me feel
Again

“You’ve been done
So *****
So many times”

You did me the filthiest
Didn’t you
You absolutely *******
Wrecked me

And in the end
We will both do
What we need to
To keep our families together  
Never letting our lives
Intertwine again
But oh my soul,
Baby,
Never again will I
Feel so whole

I hope when you wash your hair
Fleeting moments radiate through the air
Your hand up my thigh
A passionate kiss
I hope they never leave your head
I hope you wish and wish
That she were me
And you realize
You let me be

You won’t say it
You won’t let me know
But I know
You are thinking of me too

I’ll never know
The dance
We would have danced

How’s making it work
Going for you

I want to forget April
I want to erase May
June can also go away
I knew it
I knew it Dillan
I knew you’d never ever
Stay

We were doomed from the start
But I love you
I love you still

How do you not feel this way
Anymore
How did you just close the
Door?

Give me one day of peace
One day where you don’t
Cross my mind

Call me

I can safely say
If you picked up the phone
And you called me
Today
Tomorrow
Whenever
I would be so ******* weak

Don’t you see
I’m so in
Love with you
Listen,
I can’t live without you
And I wish you were
Near me now

Please,
Come home.

I miss
Being
Home
With you

I miss putting
My hand
On your face

Everything
Feels so wrong

You there
Me here

I don’t want
To know
That you and her
Are there in that space

I wish
I wish
I wish
You wouldn’t stay

Too use to the
Pain
You and everyone else
Has caused me
I cant cry anymore
I cant cry
I feel the hollow spot
Sit
In my chest

You spend so much chasing time

That you are wasting it

By trying to experience it

One day
I’ll be everything to someone

Disappointment
And a shame
I thought that was you

I have enough people
Who want pieces of me

As long as we could
Behave

As long as we could
Not act like monsters;

But we were monsters

All of us.

There has to be more to
Life
Than what I will spend it on
For a paycheck

Most days I sit somewhere
Between
Thinking about tying a rope
Around my ceiling fan
And then
Being greatful for the
Love
I get to experience as
Your mother because
I live this life
But I make sure
You never know the first part

Another day
Another day my phone doesn’t ring at 5:30 on the dot anymore
Another day without your voice at the end of it
Just another day