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Shaylie Apr 6
Im so clueless
I went back and read our messages in ‘23
I think I was oblivious
So oblivious
To you trying to hang out with me
Shaylie Apr 2019
Have you ever
Laid in bed next to
someone you love

And prayed for
Your true love to
Fall out of the sky
Shaylie Jul 2020
Then I thought about how
You only make me cry
Bone breaking loneliness
Creeping all inside
Shaylie Oct 2022
String me along
Like little fine white pearls
Clacking against each other
Each impactful time your
Fingers slide me down the thread
Shaylie May 1
Loving you is like faith
I can’t see you, hear you, smell you
But I know you are all around me
I wake up and feel you enveloping my space
I wish you knew how much I endlessly and eternally loved you
Shaylie Aug 2021
It’s five am
And I know you’re sleeping
I’m wide awake
Memories of you dancing
In my head
Making love
Laughing
Feeling so whole
I miss you Dillan
Shaylie Apr 2019
In the dark
You only have your soul.
Shaylie Jan 13
I wake up now and I forget
But sometimes, in the early hours
I wake up and I can’t understand how you are miles away laying next to her
I roll over and stare at the ceiling
The whir of the fan in the background
The popcorn of the ceiling being kissed by the dimmed lamp from the 90s that has a turn dial on it
I sigh and I think to myself
“Why do I have these miserable thoughts and he gets to be so happy”
And then I think
Maybe this is why I have these miserable thoughts
I cared far too much
And he never cared enough
It’s been a year now-
So it’s easier
The mornings and hours I spend on them now
Are few and far between
Shaylie Aug 2021
I hope it all makes it’s way to you
Some way
Some how
Shaylie Feb 2024
An ache so deep that
There are no more words
You begin to feel like
You’ll never meet anyone again
Constantly comparing everyone
To all of the good in you
Shaylie Sep 2020
Life was so much more than black and white

It was red yellow grey turquoise manilla

He could love you

And he could *******

But he could still love someone else
Shaylie Apr 2022
I feel selfish
For saying
I deserve more
I deserve better
Shaylie Oct 2022
Do you think I’ll be better
Better ever?
I am afraid of death
and dying.
Nothing, is a deep leap to hop into.
Nothing.
I’ve never been fond of heights.
Will I make it to 30?
Do you think I’ll ever be better?
Can I be better ever?
I want to be normal
I’m tired
I could use a rest
I want to be like the rest
I am afraid of death
And dying.
Do you think I will ever get better?
Shaylie Apr 16
I miss you so much
I’m begging so badly I would pull my heart out if you need
Give me a chance
Let me talk to you
Call me please
I can not stop thinking about you
Shaylie May 2021
Before I slip away
Again
Underneath my own skin
Tell me
You love me
You love me

Before I push you away
Again
In front of this monster
Hold me
Hold me

I’m okay
I’m okay
Until I’m not
Shaylie Mar 31
You remember passion is there
And then like a wave
It subsides
Leaving you
Marooned in reality
But I love you anyway
I love you fiercely right down to my bones
Shaylie Sep 2021
This can’t be this hard
For just me
Right?
Right???
Shaylie Aug 2021
Oh
You
Hate me
Shaylie May 2021
I am never ready
For the feeling that
My body is too heavy
To pick up

The feeling that
I’m not steady
Shaylie Aug 2021
You know how it feels without me
How can you live with this
Don’t you miss my voice
Don’t you miss my laugh
I miss you
I get so lost in you
Please
Please
Don’t tell me I’ll
Never
Feel like you made me feel
Again
Shaylie Jun 2021
“I love her more than ever now”
“When you call it goes through silently”
I keep reading them
Over
And
Over
And
Over

I’m glad I could help you
Find yourself
Shaylie Aug 2021
Dillan, I can’t stop thinking about you
I just want to hear from you
Shaylie Jul 2022
The only time
Any man saw me
Was with
Eyes closed
Hands open
Shaylie Jul 2021
Don’t you see
I’m so in
Love with you
Listen,
I can’t live without you
And I wish you were
Near me now
Shaylie Sep 2022
Boys don’t ride on horses
Or speak carefully
Boys break bones
And they
Bellow with rage
Guttural scream
Boys are not gentle
They do not smell
Of cream
Shaylie May 2022
You say
You’re so much sometimes

And I say to that
Well sometimes,
You are not enough
Shaylie Apr 3
I could be half way around the world
Looking at the most breath taking things
And then it hits me like a train
I miss you so much
It makes me ache
Shaylie Jul 2021
I cry so deep
I feel the river flowing through
My chest
Deep, white water, ripping through me

I can’t believe you did this
You did this again
Shaylie Aug 2021
We were doomed from the start
But I love you
I love you still
Shaylie Jun 17
I thought I heard something like
you calling my name
But it was just the wind
Rustling through these trees and leaves
It’s so still
You might be able to hear
Gods whisper though
Shaylie Aug 2021
I still have trouble
Believing
Every moment
Every warm moment
Wrapped in ecstasy
They were all
Lies
Shaylie Sep 2020
So you say go

And the words crash to the floor like glass

So many pieces I cant pick up
Shaylie Apr 6
Intrepid followers
For
The blameless god of love
Giving their hearts for sacrifice
For their chance
To be eaten up
Shaylie Aug 2021
I can beat you
At your own
Little game
Happy family
Happy life
Who can be happier without the other
Why are we doing this
Come back home
Shaylie Jun 2023
Emptiness
Dryness
Fills up these lines
More than passion has
In the last
Two years
I’m on my own
Wandering the dessert again
Shaylie Sep 2021
Don’t make me wait
Pick up the phone
Call me
I’ll answer
We can talk and talk
I just want to hear you
Shaylie Jul 2022
I keep waiting
Patiently waiting
For him
To be aching
And feigning for me
Waiting for when he decides
He cannot get enough of me

I’ll turn to dust
Before my dreams turn to
Stone
Shaylie Nov 2018
I remember your cinnamon smelling bed
And your computer desk right in front of it
Blue light illuminated the four white walls around us
I miss you
Shaylie Jul 2022
Since I have left
I have been to Oregon
I have been to Colorado
I have been to Florida
And New York

Why did you keep me inside
Shaylie Aug 2021
“You’ve been done
So *****
So many times”

You did me the filthiest
Didn’t you
You absolutely *******
Wrecked me
Shaylie Aug 2024
If I take it day by day
And no one mentions the word longing
I don’t ache for you
Anymore
Shaylie Apr 18
Another six months
Another year
I’m almost thirty
And then I’ll be practically forty
Please, I miss you
Shaylie Dec 2020
And even when I did not want to be around anyone else in the world
I just wanted to be with you
Why do you not feel that way
Shaylie Apr 3
I just
want to hear your voice
Shaylie Jan 2023
Can I
Crawl inside that coffin with you
Can you
Take me down with you
I don’t
Like being here anymore
Shaylie Aug 2021
I hope when you wash your hair
Fleeting moments radiate through the air
Your hand up my thigh
A passionate kiss
I hope they never leave your head
I hope you wish and wish
That she were me
And you realize
You let me be
Shaylie Jul 2022
I know you don’t feel how I feel, and that’s okay, I’m okay with that. It’s insurmountable though, the way I feel. I don’t want to have any day where I don’t live with you, wake up with you, wait on you to get off work to have dinner with you. These are things I know  you don’t really consider, and that’s because you don’t feel the way I do. But it’s so hard for me. To know you are moving, to know you are leaving. I could spend every single day with you.
You are the funniest, most intelligent, most considerate, amazing person I have ever met. I have soaked up every single moment I have spent with you these last few months, and even though **** happened, you really are the first person to make me feel appreciated and seen. Maybe you don’t do all the extra stuff because we never reached that level, but you have just been a good person to me. You are wonderful, and I wish so badly that I could make you feel the way I feel. But you can’t force people to see someone a certain way, can you? It didn’t matter what we did here, the only way I would have never gotten attached is if I literally ****** and left and never talked to you, and the reason I say that is because in any other scenario I am always going to see you, spend time with you, learn what kind of person you are, and fall in love with you all over again. Im sorry for all the stress and worry, I am sorry for clawing at you like a satin table cloth slipping off a polished wood dining table to stay. I just wanted to spend every moment with you. I don’t think anyone would feel differently than how I do.
Shaylie Jun 2023
Boys want this
And boys want that
Dress this way so you will get a boy
Sit up straight
Cross your legs
So the boy doesn’t think
You are trash
Wear pants
Don’t make eye contact
With the boy
He’ll
Eat you up
Won’t he
It’s his world
That’s what they tell you
But he’ll give you roses
He’ll love you
And they’ve taught him to be gentle
But somehow never cry
Because it’s your job
To be weak
Shaylie Nov 2021
And if you aren’t careful
Love will eat you up
Shaylie Jun 2023
I can’t remember anymore
What is it like
When someone can not
Keep their lips from yours
I am lonely and it’s late
That’s the only reason I care
I am numb
Over and over
I feel nothing
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