I can’t decide if
Everyone was right
About us being crazy
Or if we really
Loved each other
I sometimes remember that first night with you
Things were good for just me and you

I
*******
Miss you

And
I just want to feel
Your fingers against mine

Please

You can take her
Take her to see all the things
We would have seen
The Grand Canyon
Hawaii
Paris
But emptiness will follow you
Everywhere
Because
You know
It should have been
Me

Bone breaking,
Aching,
Loneliness,
It’s the marrow in your bones now,
Seeping out,
When they crack open

I hope everytime you give her a little piece of what you never gave me
You question yourself
You think of me
You think of my pain
I hope you try to justify it but it constantly falls through
How do you sleep at night replacing what we had

Press on

Even when you are walking through

A field of razor blades barefoot

You just

Press on, baby

Press the **** on

And in the thick of the dark night blanketing over us, as I laid there next to him, he said “I can usually always tell”
“with this person I was a little confused, with this other person I was also a little confused, usually there is always some moment where I can tell, but with you I can see no difference, no confusion”
Those words sat in my chest and permeated through me, like hot Texas heat taking up every inch of your body, baking.

She said she worries
But I’m not worried
I want to breathe her air
And wrap her around me

She is beautiful
The Sun sets in her eyes
And rises with her smile

And God,
I am so lucky to know her

A thousand other universes
Where your finger tips
Brush my finger tips

I wish I was there staring up at your ceiling
Breathing your air

Buy me one more day
Cant be anywhere other than there

You'd never recognize me now

I have so much love in me
It surges through my fingertips
I can’t stop thinking about you
You and me

And if I don’t think too hard
I’m okay with this, I’m okay with us
I’m okay with you taking my ******* breath away every time I look at you
I put it in a box in the corner
Somewhere with the rest of the ****
That hurts me

I just don’t understand
This cruel world
Where in any universe
We aren’t together, resting our heads on each other, tracing finger tips

And baby I can firmly say,
I’m wasting my ******* time with anyone else,
Because you are it, you are it,

And if the stars were right outside
I’d take you to Vegas and say I do
Because I love you

I just can’t say it
Because if I don’t think too hard
I’m okay
I’m okay with this

So I think
I think about you
The sun rises
The sun sets
Before you go
I just want you to know
I’ll always think about you

And
I know
If someone wants you
They will truly do
Anything
To make that happen

It happened for me once.

You know
I’d do anything
Just for you

And I can’t promise
Ease
I can’t promise
Perfection
But I’ll stand next to you
I’ll hold your hand

And I don’t have much
But I’ll give you everything I have

You know,
I’d do anything,
Just
For
You

I am under your finger tips
Trembling for you
Your name escapes my lips

I definitely
Want
To
**** her

That’s what he said
We lie in bed together

And I pretend like it’s ok
Ok that you
Only
Want to
Be inside
Of her

Silly when I think
Or feel
Like this isn’t
The inevitable end
But I know in my heart
I’ll never hear you again
“Hey dood”
Waiting for you to call
Checking the mail to see if you wrote
Checking here for messages
Why can’t I give you up

Too use to the
Pain
You and everyone else
Has caused me
I cant cry anymore
I cant cry
I feel the hollow spot
Sit
In my chest

You spend so much chasing time

That you are wasting it

By trying to experience it

One day
I’ll be everything to someone

Disappointment
And a shame
I thought that was you

I have enough people
Who want pieces of me

As long as we could
Behave

As long as we could
Not act like monsters;

But we were monsters

All of us.

There has to be more to
Life
Than what I will spend it on
For a paycheck

Most days I sit somewhere
Between
Thinking about tying a rope
Around my ceiling fan
And then
Being greatful for the
Love
I get to experience as
Your mother because
I live this life
But I make sure
You never know the first part

Another day
Another day my phone doesn’t ring at 5:30 on the dot anymore
Another day without your voice at the end of it
Just another day