I don’t think I’ve ever been this sad about someone leaving before. I try not to think of it. I really do. This morning I was laying on the couch, face pressed against the cushion. I was staring at your TV and all of your things, I just thought about the first day you will be gone. Part of me just wants you to go, because “out of sight, out of mind”, the other part desperately wants you to stay, I keep telling myself it is all wrong. But that is just what I want to hear.
I think about how on that day, this place will be empty, save a few of my things. I will be here and you will be there. Separate. How we will be going from hanging out every day, to hardly seeing each other at all from the way you’ve made things sound, and from how I know people to usually be. I think about how other girls will be laying on your pillows breathing you in, and laughing at your jokes. I think about them sharing moments with you, and learning about your life intimately. I’m sick, and I don’t want to think about it, but I force myself as some sort of numbing agent, if I see it enough in my head, won’t I be numb when it happens? I think about not waking up with you in the morning, or deciding on dinner together, or sitting and playing games until one of us is too tired. I’ve felt like you are the only person in this world I can count on.
I think it’s all just too painful, and I just need to cry when I need to cry. I spent a year of my life with you, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with. Who couldn’t? When my heart hurts like this, I just hold my breath until it’s mostly over.
I am going to miss you so much, I’ve said it a thousand times. It really feels like things will be so empty now, not that I can’t live my life on my own, but it was just different with you.

Today I miss you
Tomorrow I might not think of you again
It’s been on and off lately
Which is much better than always on
I love you
I miss you
I miss the way you were always there
Small moments are the ones I never reveled in enough
Even though I thought I was soaking them up
I find myself staring in the mirror
I hope we meet in another life Bryce
And I hope we get to do it right in that one
The love I have for you is enough to bring me to my knees when I close my eyes

So you say your brain wants to **** you
Get you out of this place you say
But trapped, you must stay
Figure out how to breathe with water in your lungs
And breathe because your neighbor does it without pain
In bed you stay
In pain
Soaking it up
Like the suns rays

I hope it all makes it’s way to you
Some way
Some how

I’d say I don’t care about you anymore
But what am I supposed to do
We built this whole life
Together
We made a life
Together

Now I’m building it apart
Stranger through the
Looking glass
And that’s who you are
Why didnt you tell me

I told myself
I won’t fall in love
Until someone buys me flowers
But then I kissed him
Without so much as even
One single rose
And him?
His eyes wander so far
It’s hard to tell
Which skirt he’s trying to
Slip up
But it’s not yours
And it’s right in front of you
All without even a single
Flower

I am between you
And my passions
I buried them a long time ago
In the backyard of our home

Its getting harder to keep my feet grounded
I might float up and away

I love you
And
As much as I’d like to
Hate you
All I want is the best
For you
I want you to be happy
I want you to know
I will always always
Love you

I stared at my phone today,
Thinking I might call you,
But I never did
I’m too scared

You know how it feels without me
How can you live with this
Don’t you miss my voice
Don’t you miss my laugh
I miss you
I get so lost in you
Please
Please
Don’t tell me I’ll
Never
Feel like you made me feel
Again

I am under your finger tips
Trembling for you
Your name escapes my lips

Do you think of me as much as I
Think of you

How’s making it work
Going for you

String me along
Like little fine white pearls
Clacking against each other
Each impactful time your
Fingers slide me down the thread

Wasting your breath

There are some things

That will only change

With age

Baby, I'm gone, gone
I am so gone from here.

I'm gonna spread out far to the edges and over,

I'm gonna spill out, just like that milk you always ******* cried over

I'm gonna cover the earth,
And baby I'm gone from here.

Me and my love
We are lifetimes apart
And so we spend lifetimes alone
Until we find each other
Again
In one universe
In one moment

I don’t need him
He don’t need me
And we find each other beneath
Raw sheets
Please answer me
I say
Why would it be that way
He say
But he never calls
The next day

All the decorations on his walls, were hung up by me.
I pushed the tacks in the wall, the ones you look at while you **** him.

Go back to the hole
You crawled out of
Thanks for letting me know
He misses me

When I pulled away from his house, knowing she would be spending time in his bed later, skin to skin, breath to breath. Passion bleeding through.
I just want to stop thinking about you.

Up late
And I ache for you
I think of you
I think of you

I could have
Been
Good enough

I will always
Love you
Enough

I keep trying to talk to you
Reach out to you
How long will it be this time
Another year
Maybe 5
I love you

Please,
Come home.

You can take her
Take her to see all the things
We would have seen
The Grand Canyon
Hawaii
Paris
But emptiness will follow you
Everywhere
Because
You know
It should have been
Me

I wish I was not the way that I am
I want to go home and forget this place
Existed
And that anyone as great as you is real
I wanted it to be the time in my life
Where I needed someone
And it just isn’t

But tasting your lips
Nothing is sweeter

I miss you
And I miss you and I miss you and I miss youimissyouimissyouimissyou
I miss you so much until my heart gives out at the end of the day
Only to restart each morning when I wake up
Missing you
I never knew when my mother said
Life is unfair
She was talking about how you could love and love and love someone
But they didn’t have to love and love and love you back
So here I am at twelve am
Thinking of ways to tell you I love you
Ways to tell you I hate you
Thinking of writing love letters and giving grandiose notions you never deserved
Thinking of how she must be folded inside your arms
I know you don’t think about it at all
Think about me
That is
I miss you

I don’t
Want to
Be close
To you
Anymore

You are alone
You will die alone
You are ugly
You are alone
You do not matter
Why are you still here
Why do you keep going
If one person does something kind today
I’ll stay
I’ll stay if someone says anything
Anything kind
You are alone
Alone
You will
Die alone

You know
I’d do anything
Just for you

And I can’t promise
Ease
I can’t promise
Perfection
But I’ll stand next to you
I’ll hold your hand

And I don’t have much
But I’ll give you everything I have

You know,
I’d do anything,
Just
For
You

Have you ever been in love?
It eats you
It consumes your body
Toes to head
Wildfire takes over
And it burns you up
How did you exist without
That’s what you will ask yourself
Have you ever been in love?

You might be in my bed
But
I know
I'm not the one
In your head

I will never talk to you again
Is all I wrote
And I didn’t
I never talked to him again
He got old
I got old
And we died without
Even saying goodbye

Somedays
I feel too pretty for you
And others
I crawl beneath your shoes
And ask you to
Step on me

We were doomed from the start
But I love you
I love you still

I can’t possibly understand how it could be anyone other than you
I thought maybe we finally had our chance
Our day beneath the honeysuckle
I miss you
Trying to figure out why you’d stop
Talking to me
I want to finally share that meal
So much time has passed and
I’m almost 30 now
Please call me
Please call me

Its funny how when it's cold outside,

I start to remember burying my face inside of your jacket,

I can small all of the fall and winter leaves,

That were beneath your feet,

While the faint smell of your Marlboros lingered on and on,

I could almost touch your face in the cold sun,

I could almost feel myself being in love,

But the flowers, the trees, and the bees have died and grown again since then

And Dear God
Please, ******* help me
Because it’s just so hard to be sober
When my choices
Cant be made over

If you are reading this
I want you to know
I can’t talk to you anymore
But if you ever find yourself
Sitting down
Sharing a meal
And I cross your mind
It’s probably because
I am thinking of you too
While somewhere around the world
I eat
And I sit
-For B

This year will be the hardest one
Because I’m replacing two with you

“You’ve been done
So *****
So many times”

You did me the filthiest
Didn’t you
You absolutely *******
Wrecked me

He’s lying next to her
While dreaming of me
And
My bed is cold

I miss you, I love you, I miss you, I love you
Talking to you is something irreplaceable
My soul lights on fire with simple words
And I’m reminded
I’m never alone with you here in this world
Even when you are silent
Isn’t it a fact that we always find each other
I love you, I miss you

I still have trouble
Believing
Every moment
Every warm moment
Wrapped in ecstasy
They were all
Lies

I am never ready
For the feeling that
My body is too heavy
To pick up

The feeling that
I’m not steady

I remember everything I wanted to forget
Even the dew drops that sat on leaves outside of the window
The worst day of my life
I forget everything I wanted to remember
You, you, you
Everything about you.

I hope you think about me
Every
Single
Day

Please
He said
Stop calling me

I am this close
To paying the 36 dollars
To change my number

His words played
Over and over and over

I just missed you
I missed you
So much I can’t breathe

I couldn’t find meaning in
Mirror
So I looked for it
In his eyes
A stranger
Doomed when I was
Let down
Because I didn’t find
My worth inside of there

My hopeless shot in the dark
A cry for help
So hard to love
Because I couldn’t love myself

Life was so much more than black and white

It was red yellow grey turquoise manilla

He could love you

And he could *******

But he could still love someone else