Please
He said
Stop calling me

I am this close
To paying the 36 dollars
To change my number

His words played
Over and over and over

I just missed you
I missed you
So much I can’t breathe

Who are we
But
Grains of eroded rock
Sand
On an even larger rock

No buildings
Out of bone
Though

Here you are
Standing in the mirror
Beside yourself
Inbetwix yourself
Don’t listen
Don’t listen to what they say

I get solace in knowing,
even if you keep pretending my blood
isnt yours,
I am
I am.

Wedding bells
Wedding bells
I can’t stop thinking about
How you put me and her
Through absolute hell

I am tired of ***
What I crave is a kiss
Give me your lips
I want intimacy beyond words
Something special

Rage burns inside me
It’s so easy to spit your own poison back at you
One way or another
It just hurts
Instead I sit here
Fire turns into hot tears
Rushing down my face
Burns ditches in lines
I wonder if karma is real
How do you continue to get away with this

I wonder when you’ll realize
You love me
And you miss me
Probably on my wedding night

In this life I was destined,
To never know you,
Or spend moments with you but,
God,
That didnt stop me
From wanting
To.

I just wanted to know
Why

Find me in every life,
And lay your sweet lips upon mine,
Steal my breath,
Touch my cheek,
Whisper those words I crave to hear
Dripping
Off your tongue

And then,
He was gone

I had him
There
And then,

I watched him
Leave, leave, leave
Right out
That door
There

But oh,
O,
How I ******* missed him
Waiting
And wanting

Have
You
Ever
Craved
Someone?

Today
I miss you
I open my eyes
And
I
Miss
You

*******.

And be thankful you are alive
Because
Without you
They would have never met at all
If it hadn’t been for you
He’d still be getting married
And they would just be coworkers

And in either scenario
You realize
With or without you
He’d have gone on
Life would have gone on

I’d be lying if I said I was doing anything
Other than
Trying to forget you

Are you a good person who does bad things?
Or are you a bad person who does good things?

You cant tiptoe the line.
You either are or are not.
But in the same aspect,
You cant always be one thing.

**** humanity.

Cascade down me,

The way clouds caress,

A mountains rough edges

You’re unhappy without me
I can feel it
So
Why don’t you just
Come home

Goodmorning
I hope you thought of me
When your eyes opened

Goodnight
I hope I was the last thing
You thought of
Before you closed your eyes
Next to her

I wish I just existed in beauty
The way the mountains just
Held themselves up
And the way the sun
Just painted the sky
As it went to sleep for the night

Before I slip away
Again
Underneath my own skin
Tell me
You love me
You love me

Before I push you away
Again
In front of this monster
Hold me
Hold me

I’m okay
I’m okay
Until I’m not

I hope everytime you give her a little piece of what you never gave me
You question yourself
You think of me
You think of my pain
I hope you try to justify it but it constantly falls through
How do you sleep at night replacing what we had

I hope when you wash your hair
Fleeting moments radiate through the air
Your hand up my thigh
A passionate kiss
I hope they never leave your head
I hope you wish and wish
That she were me
And you realize
You let me be

So if I meant something
Mean it
Mean what you say
And do it
Fire beneath your finger tips
I’ll be ash

Don’t you miss me
Isn’t it unbearable
How are you happy
Can I be happy too
Please
Can I be happy too

His eyes are like honey
But he tells me I’m the only one
To ever say that

And he makes me feel like
I could lay down
And rest awhile
Lying down in the sun
Eyes closed
Heat radiating
Easy
Like a hot summer day

If I take it day by day
And no one mentions the word longing
I don’t ache for you
Anymore

I’ll never know
The dance
We would have danced

We are just sitting around day dreaming
Missing each other
Aren’t we
I miss you
Can’t explain how I can feel you
Thinking about me

I think it bothers me
That
She ever use to hold you
And brush the hair away from your face

I want to be the only one
Who made you fall in love

I got a tattoo
Of a honeysuckle today
To remind me of you
And that
Rainy
April Day

I can safely say
If you picked up the phone
And you called me
Today
Tomorrow
Whenever
I would be so ******* weak

Oh
You
Hate me

Last night I dreamt
We shared a meal
And you were smiling
I was smiling too

16, 23, 30
I love you in them all
We don’t have to wait
Until the next life to be together now
Call me, call me, call me
Let me just talk to you

Silly when I think
Or feel
Like this isn’t
The inevitable end
But I know in my heart
I’ll never hear you again
“Hey dood”
Waiting for you to call
Checking the mail to see if you wrote
Checking here for messages
Why can’t I give you up

It has to mean something
That we think of each other
At the same time of day

Im so clueless
I went back and read our messages in ‘23
I think I was oblivious
So oblivious
To you trying to hang out with me

Feel guilty for living
Feel guilty for not living enough
Wake up
Be whoever the ******* want

I
*******
Miss you

And
I just want to feel
Your fingers against mine

Please

So you say you don’t care
You don’t care
But it’s hard to picture you
With someone else
I can feel my ribs breaking
Under this pressure
Against myself

It’s 9 pm
The tide rolls in
The thoughts of you
You and me
Between these sheets
Hands against my hands

I miss the way you smell
I think of the last time
I buried my face in your chest
That’s when you left

I miss the way you taste
I think of the last time
My lips met your lips

Suddenly time seems like a
Long long hallway
Only extending more and more
The more I walk it

I ******* miss you
And I didn’t want to wait
I didn’t want to wait
To see you
To feel you
To taste you

I want to beg you
On my hands
And my knees
Please
Please

Here I am
Missing you hard enough
I wonder if I keep missing you hard enough
you might
Materialize right here
If I close my eyes
I could solidify you
Make you real
In my head you are driving to me
Or maybe someone drives you to me
But it’s not really
And tomorrow comes

I dont text you at 3am
I text you at 7am
I want you to know you are
The first thing I still think about
When I wake up in the morning
I want you to know that I miss you so much
It hits me when I open my eyes
Not in the lonely hours
Because every hour without you
Has been so ******* lonely

How do you not feel this way
Anymore
How did you just close the
Door?

I use to get so mad
When you’d wake me up
Midnight hours
Asking me questions about myself
Please
I’d say
Let me go back to sleep
Such an annoyed tone
Now it’s 12 am again
But it’s silent
I find myself saying things in my head
Like
Sorry I got so annoyed
And
I miss anyone
Anyone at all
Asking questions
About me
Genuinely

You could have said
You don’t want me
And don’t flatter yourself
I didn’t do what I did
Because of you

Give me a sign
That you feel this way too
But deep down
Nothing need be said
I know the truth
About me and you
Love love love

“I love her more than ever now”
“When you call it goes through silently”
I keep reading them
Over
And
Over
And
Over

I’m glad I could help you
Find yourself

Living this life
Without you
Everyday wondering
How how how
Do I go on