I keep your shirt on the back of the couch
It smells like your house
You’d think I’d have kissed you before
I don’t even know what you taste like
But I wish I did

I wish so badly,
To not know small things about you,
Give me something that makes me dislike you

I met a boy who smelled like sunshine
He liked to make things with his hands like me
I asked him what is his last name
And by the end of the conversation
It wasn’t until two days later
I realized
He never asked once for mine
He didn’t ask anything about me at all
But now I couldn’t stop thinking
About him

Hey dear
I just came here to say
I still love you
And I don’t know if it’s ever gonna get better
But I’m so glad
You are happy without me

Somedays I miss you so much
It feels like there is no one else in this world
To talk to
It’s been almost a year
I still think about you every day
I’ve forced my thoughts to be farther between
Because I know the amount of good
It does me
I wish I could stop putting you in the front
Of this in invisible line
I love you so much
Sometimes I close my eyes and I pretend
If I think it hard enough
You will feel that moment too

I quite often think about why he found love right after me
And how I am incapable now
I realized that while I fixed him
He broke me
And like the greedy humans of the earth
He over consumed me
I am the desert
I gave him my garden

If I take it day by day
And no one mentions the word longing
I don’t ache for you
Anymore

Rage burns inside me
It’s so easy to spit your own poison back at you
One way or another
It just hurts
Instead I sit here
Fire turns into hot tears
Rushing down my face
Burns ditches in lines
I wonder if karma is real
How do you continue to get away with this

And all I’m worried about is
Having to stand in a room with you
Today is a day
Where I wish my face
Didn’t look like yours
So it wasn’t so noticeable
That I’m the one who looks
Just like you
That you never talk to

I’ll always remember you when we were young
I’ll remember the nights we spent laughing for two years in our twenties
You are in another life
Another dimension now
I saw her tooth brush on the counter
It shared the same cup as yours
Her clothes strewn all over the floor
In the bathroom I looked at myself
I’m thinking
I’m gonna be sick
You are living another lifetime
And all we had was
Two years in our twenties
That I’ll never forget

I use to get so mad
When you’d wake me up
Midnight hours
Asking me questions about myself
Please
I’d say
Let me go back to sleep
Such an annoyed tone
Now it’s 12 am again
But it’s silent
I find myself saying things in my head
Like
Sorry I got so annoyed
And
I miss anyone
Anyone at all
Asking questions
About me
Genuinely

Hey, I haven’t stopped loving you
But every time we speak
You and I
We are with other people
Maybe not this time?

I can’t possibly understand how it could be anyone other than you
I thought maybe we finally had our chance
Our day beneath the honeysuckle
I miss you
Trying to figure out why you’d stop
Talking to me
I want to finally share that meal
So much time has passed and
I’m almost 30 now
Please call me
Please call me

I keep trying to talk to you
Reach out to you
How long will it be this time
Another year
Maybe 5
I love you

It’s ten o clock, and I am on the way to the car for a solo adventure to chicken nuggets. The sinking feeling of emptiness is heavy like the beginning summer air around me, I miss you. I open the car door, I plop down, I place my hands on the wheel and let out the biggest sigh. I can feel the tears coming already, falling down. I don’t want to start thinking about you again, but here come the questions pouring in, garage lights faintly illuminating my skin.
I need to pull out now, I need to go and eat. I am angry that you have once again taken up so much of my time, I am empty because I can’t remember what you smell like.

If you are reading this
I want you to know
I can’t talk to you anymore
But if you ever find yourself
Sitting down
Sharing a meal
And I cross your mind
It’s probably because
I am thinking of you too
While somewhere around the world
I eat
And I sit
-For B

Waiting for the day
I look back on my own words
With disdain
Instead of longing

I am wondering if you still read my works
Maybe you could talk to me soon
Please

Some things neednt be said
They stand the way ancient trees do
Just like the way
I love you

I hope everytime you give her a little piece of what you never gave me
You question yourself
You think of me
You think of my pain
I hope you try to justify it but it constantly falls through
How do you sleep at night replacing what we had

I dont text you at 3am
I text you at 7am
I want you to know you are
The first thing I still think about
When I wake up in the morning
I want you to know that I miss you so much
It hits me when I open my eyes
Not in the lonely hours
Because every hour without you
Has been so ******* lonely

Someone mentions the airport
I hate him
I quickly think of when he ****** me in the parking garage before he flew out for Vegas last year
This year he won’t even speak more than two phrases to me
After two years
I wonder if he will **** her the same way he ****** me
Or is it different because he probably loves her
I light up my cigarette
I try not to think about him
How much I am trying not to crumble
Not for him
Love is tricky like that
One word like airport
It can bring back so many things
Maybe pain is tricky like that

This year will be the hardest one
Because I’m replacing two with you

Sometimes
Sometimes I miss you so much
That I think I’m not gonna make it
I don’t know how I’m gonna
Get through that day without talking to you
But then I do
And the sun rises
And the sun falls
Somehow I keep doing it all

Another day
Another day my phone doesn’t ring at 5:30 on the dot anymore
Another day without your voice at the end of it
Just another day

I love him so much

I am the rabbit
You are the carrot
Dangling on a string
Is that all we are doomed to be?

I wonder when you’ll realize
You love me
And you miss me
Probably on my wedding night

I feel nothing
I feel so far away
And then I think of your sheets
And your bed
And your skin
And the walls at night
Sliding in out of bed
All next to you
I can smell you

She’s there now
I wonder if sometimes
When her back is turned
Does she look like me
And that’s what you wanted

Hey
What are you having for dinner today
How have your days been
How have your weeks been
The months?
I just called to talk to your voicemail
I miss you

Hey
Can I come home now
I miss your bed

An ache so deep that
There are no more words
You begin to feel like
You’ll never meet anyone again
Constantly comparing everyone
To all of the good in you

Do you think of me as much as I
Think of you

Today I miss you
Tomorrow I might not think of you again
It’s been on and off lately
Which is much better than always on
I love you
I miss you
I miss the way you were always there
Small moments are the ones I never reveled in enough
Even though I thought I was soaking them up
I find myself staring in the mirror
I hope we meet in another life Bryce
And I hope we get to do it right in that one
The love I have for you is enough to bring me to my knees when I close my eyes

I miss you
And I miss you and I miss you and I miss youimissyouimissyouimissyou
I miss you so much until my heart gives out at the end of the day
Only to restart each morning when I wake up
Missing you
I never knew when my mother said
Life is unfair
She was talking about how you could love and love and love someone
But they didn’t have to love and love and love you back
So here I am at twelve am
Thinking of ways to tell you I love you
Ways to tell you I hate you
Thinking of writing love letters and giving grandiose notions you never deserved
Thinking of how she must be folded inside your arms
I know you don’t think about it at all
Think about me
That is
I miss you

Did everything go well today?
I mean, did everything go well moving into your new apartment?
How is the bedroom?
The one I’ll never see the inside of, the walls I’ll be unfamiliar with.
Was it everything you hoped for?
I missed you today
And yesterday
And the day before
Maybe not the day before that
But all the other days in between

I am tired of ***
What I crave is a kiss
Give me your lips
I want intimacy beyond words
Something special

I am not thinking about you anymore
Atleast that’s what I tell myself
But when I open my eyes in the morning
I can’t help but think about your day
I am not thinking about you anymore
I’m really trying
But I still wake up in the middle of the night, and wonder did everything go your way today?
I am not thinking about you anymore
I am hurting beyond measure
I’ve written this whole poem about you.

All the decorations on his walls, were hung up by me.
I pushed the tacks in the wall, the ones you look at while you **** him.

Everyone keeps calling me strong
I’m tired of being a house
Built by bricks

In my memories
You belong to me
And we belong to each other
It’s a sacred place

I continue talking about you in the past tense
Why do you keep talking about him like he’s dead
They ask me
Because to me he is
I reply
Everyone keeps moving about their tasks

Stupid *****
Huh
That’s what’s you said
I’ll show you why I’m the most intelligent
*****
In this room
No ***** you can grab
Me by

I’m the same artist
In every different stanza
You see different people
Different women
But we are all the same

We love nostalgia
It’s why you
Read these poems
So you can feel despair again

Sadness usually consumes me
At some point
It’s like I’ve been running a marathon
Things are getting personal
But I can clear my mind
If I try hard enough
I only get sad
Sometimes
You can’t say that out loud though
People start to worry
It’s days like that I wish
We all just said what’s on our minds
I’m ******* miserable
How about you
Maybe miserable as well
I start thinking
Why aren’t people more honest
Why does honesty terrify them
So much

It’s five am and I’m thinking about
How I use to be sad if you departed
without giving me kisses
Now we can not even get through
One phone call without
Being at each others
Throats

I am lonely
But I melt into that
I melt into the sunset
And the silence

I am sitting in traffic
And I’m wondering
Is it immature to wish
There is some universe where I got
One over on you
Where I called the lawyers first
Where I didn’t lose my job
One where Gabriel and I
Move to Colorado
And I don’t have to answer to you

If you could see how starving I am
You would love me