If you could see how starving I am
You would love me

I was ready to be done now
And I never wanted to be ready again
Ready to be ready
And not done
I’m tired of them
Putting their hands
And words all over me
I’d rather be alone
They take up my time
To be free

Emptiness
Dryness
Fills up these lines
More than passion has
In the last
Two years
I’m on my own
Wandering the dessert again

Boys want this
And boys want that
Dress this way so you will get a boy
Sit up straight
Cross your legs
So the boy doesn’t think
You are trash
Wear pants
Don’t make eye contact
With the boy
He’ll
Eat you up
Won’t he
It’s his world
That’s what they tell you
But he’ll give you roses
He’ll love you
And they’ve taught him to be gentle
But somehow never cry
Because it’s your job
To be weak

Passion
Kissing
Glances
Touches filled with fire
I am on an island so
Far away from these things
I ******* over and over
Just like you **** me over and over
But then that’s different
Can’t let each other go
But it’s okay because there is nothing
Waiting for me over there
Nothing in the sea
Or somewhere else
I sit here with you
I tell myself it’s because I want to
Not because I don’t respect myself
I’ve heard you say this is
A dead end
Point blank
Straight down
It falls out of your mouth often
There will be no flowers or
Candle lit dinners
Even when we laugh
And spend sun up to sun down
Every day
Conversations go into the wee hours
Why do you bother asking me
Intimate things
Over and over and over
But you never called me beautiful
So atleast we have that
I’m on an island
So far from passion
Or the idea of someone telling me
“I can’t get
Enough of you”
Because I can’t breathe long enough
To get away from you
I tell myself that I do this to myself

I wish I loved you less
And I loved
me
more
I wish I loved myself the way
I loved you
Or I loved anyone else
I wish I could
Do that

Right people
Wrong place
Wrong time
Wrong universe
But I love you
Still