My little sister
How I love you so
It’s not your fault
That you are everything I wanted
And can never have
But I love to watch you grow
As if bird watching
I am at a distance
It’s where I like to be
Safe from the wilderness of
Hearing how
Our dad was
Your daddy
But to me
He’s just some man

I can’t remember anymore
What is it like
When someone can not
Keep their lips from yours
I am lonely and it’s late
That’s the only reason I care
I am numb
Over and over
I feel nothing

I know things
I’m not stupid
I know that,
Two plus two is four,
The sky is blue,
I have two feet,
Ten fingers,
Ten toes,
I know that you,
You tell lies,
More than you tell the truth,
I know that about you,
So when you sit here and say,
It’s different this time,
Why would it change,
Something I know.
The sky is not purple.
I do not have fifteen fingers
And two toes
And you,
Hardly tell the truth,
I know that.

My eyes meet my own eyes
Not for a long time
I question the girl in the pictures
That have my name written on the back
I wish that was me again
And if you snapped a photo of this moment
Tomorrow
I'd wish that was me again
I don't know what I think of myself
Or my skin
Who would say
I only want someone to love
The flesh on my bones
I want someone to love my dusty corners
and things that were out of place
without saying things like "you are too much"
Versions of myself from days before,
they are always better than now,
and I would never ever see myself,
the way I needed too,
Ironically for myself,
I was never enough.

Burn yourself at the stake
For the same blonde haired boy who said
I don't love you
I won't be with you
Still you set yourself on fire
You tied youself up
He's watching,
He won't save you,
He's intrigued by it or-
He's not the least bit interested.
Why did YOU burn yourself?

I'd think of the times i'd often have something imperative to say
Not often
And so was it imperative?
imperative to speak?
"sometimes, people just want to know you love them"
it's exhausting keeping up
At this point in life,
I value the people who understand me and
understand my lapses of silence
I have nothing to say

I’d rather live
Than die
I’d rather die
Than live
You can’t ask
The egg
How much he enjoyed
Being the chicken