She's the type of girl
Who tells herself
To remember what it feels like
To really smile
For fear that
She may never get the chance
To feel that way again
And in the process
Therefore ruins the perfect moment
By thinking such sinister thoughts

She is the girl
Who clutches tight to her
Books about romance
Out of fear that
She herself will never feel that way
That she will never actually feel
Anything at all

She reads over that line
Again and again
When the boy tells the girl
"I love you."
For the first time
For proof that
Love does actually exist

She drinks tea
Every night
Religiously
At a feeble attempt
To warm her soul
In a way that she fears
Another human body never will
But she just ends up in tears
When it never works

She tries to sculpt her body
To look like a work of art
So someone
Anyone
Will appreciate
The aesthetics she
Knows she does not possess

She is the type of girl
Who tries everything
She can imagine
To feel whole
To feel normal
And she fears the day
When she realizes
It is completely hopeless
And stops trying.

The words rushed out
I had no control
I never really meant them
But I didn't want to see that hole

The hole that is caused
When you resist and don't speak
When you don't say what they need
And leave that trembling silence so bleak

I hate when that happens
When the silence gets too loud
So I spit those words out
And for that I am not proud

I wish to say what I mean
Not what you wanted to be true
Now I live in regret
And lost sight of what I knew

The truth can be hard
Harder than all those easy words
When they pile up high
And tower over the birds

Soaring over your head
Threatening to crash down
And expose you for you
When you can't afford to have them around

There was part of me
Who wanted to live that lie
Who wanted to become those words
No matter how they left me blind

I am grateful though
Living in my regret
For now I am free
Free and able to someday forget

So goodbye easy words
I wish you well
You tumbled out so freely
When it was too soon to tell

Goodbye, goodbye
Farewell to you all
I am free and ready
To brace myself for the fall

I will suffer and agonize
If it all means well
That I can move on from those words
And never again yell

I will never say those poisoned words
No matter how tempting
For they lead to destruction
And only left me empty

Shattered glass turns into
blood red water pouring
out of *******.

Life begins to
forget about
reality.

It is only at the end of the day
that night begins
to feel anxious.

Forget about the wind
and focus on the
breeze.

Oh,
the world has only
just begun.

the edges of his cupid’s bow lips quirked
up with the rising sun and I thought that perhaps
I had been shot by one of his arrows—
young love, young cherub,
how reckless we are.

Wake up every day: Can't get out of bed
Feel like I've been chewed up, spit out, and landed on my head.
All the blood rushing through, leaving my mind black and blue
And what I'm left with is feeling helpless, without a single clue.

Try to rise up, but, these sheets are made of glue
My rubber mind bounces my sanity and I'm stuck to thoughts of you
Even though I'm trying to prove I can improve
I'm still stuck in this same ******' place I can't move

As I lay stripped away to my basic DNA
I reflect upon the past wishing only changes for today
But what I learned from the time my heart had me enslaved is that
Working towards tomorrow ***** the life out of today

So, act on true intentions
Don't let dismay be a distraction
Any emotion can kinetically push any dying dream into action
If you're feeling like you're gasping for air in this cold ocean
Just remember that only your own will can preserve your life when...

All the weight that you carried and never bothered showin'
All these lessons you taught yourself, you though aided your growin'
But they just stretched you seven different ways
Leaving you with six more demons that you must face

Now that who you are and who you play finally meet face to face
You can run to lead the race instead of shoving your foot in your face
Self-censorship is what grasps your legs
Keeping you shackled in this dark, dismal, place

Start fresh, I'll use resentment for the best
Remove the weights that held me down, revealing the hole in my chest
I stagger to the bathroom just to make sure,
That all these trials that I have endured

Haven't changed how I appear, as I gaze into the mirror
I realize that the real lie is that I was ever here
Great job, you finally managed to face your fears
Now, let's see how you do against a jury of your peers

My judge holds me in contempt again
No attorney can defend my end
When the time comes for my plea I'll say: "It was anything but innocent"
But, I surely did it with no intent
I never gave myself consent
To hide behind these masks that turned me into my own deadly sins

Now I lay here with no breath
Facing almost certain death
Licked by the flames of my forged hell, with no peace, I will not rest
Until I climb out of this pit
And I finally forget
That I ever had the urge to toss my towel and forfeit
**Don't Quit.
Forget.
Forgive.
Live.