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WHAT IS IT LIKE
TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE
TO BE TOOK OFF THE EARTH
AND BROUGHT UP ABOVE

SHOULD YOU BE ANGRY
OR SHOULD YOU BE SAD
OR SHOULD YOU REMEBER
THE GOOD TIMES YOU HAD

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE
I REALLY DON'T KNOW
SHOULD YOU BE HAPPY
CAUSE HEAVEN HE WILL GO

I'M NOT REALY SURE
WHAT I CAN BELIEVE
IS THAT TOO MUCH
FOR YOU TO CONCEIVE

WHEN YOUR TIME COMES
WHERE WILL YOU BE
IT'S EITHER HEAVEN OR HELL
DON'T YOU AGREE

I LOVED MY GRANDPA
WITH ALL MY HEART
THIS IS NOT AN END
BUT HIS BRAND NEW START
 Apr 2013 Sleepless K
JL
All of the pencils in the drawer are broken
Friday Night I'm sick of being alone
Hopping off the curb in search of the killer
Sniffing out the house parties
They like the bass loud and it swells
******* us inside past ten parked cars
They freestyle about
Gun fire and blood on concrete
He said I didn't believe him
Cracked out beyond repair
He shows me the scythe and hammer tattoo on his left breast
I laugh with the proletariat
Cheers and some soul passes me the bottle
Cigarette smoke contained by plaster walls
I'm eight days sober
Don't tread on me
Says a ***** blond next to me on the couch
All strung out she is searching
Searching for a bent spoon and needle in the tall grass
Back yard a bonfire
Walking barefoot on broken
Heineken bottles strewn in the shadows
Popping molly and sweating
She called me a hick
Her dopamine receptors
Rubbed flat by heavy grade sandpaper
I called her nothing
I was too busy watching
The rats scurry against the wall
To their safe warm nest
In the insulation
A hand around my wrist
Milk white incubus
With breath like puked whiskey
I escaped through a hole in the couch
I fell between the cracked leather cushions
And slept with the rats in piles of pink
Fiberglass insulation scratching at the flesh
I slip outside through the cracked window
A woman stands at a console
Turning dials that cause the streetlights to dim
And bleed storefront windows fractals of neon
She asks me what else I would like to know about the world.
Someone tells me to get in and the door shuts
A sound like gunfire I perspire sweat with cough
Syrup scent peaking on the dark road to Okeechobee
I should **** myself or run barefoot again through your head
Where the forest floor is warm and the trees are alive always with birdsong
April 6, 2013
4:31 A.M
Love is about giving
Lust is about getting
Rocking back and fourth ,
With a razor in my hand .
I sit and cry and rock ,
Like there's a baby in my lap .
That baby she is
Inconsolable .

I want to put the crying in a car ,
And watch it roll into a lake .
Slide the blade back and fourth ,
Across the thin skin of my wrist .

First a cut ,
And another next to it .
Each time thinking just one more ,
But no , I don't stop .

Line them up tightly ,
A series of bright red screams .

Covering my forearm ,
From my wrist to my inner elbow .
No ,
It's to enough .

I move the blade diagonally across ,
Carving a section of delicate cross-hatchings .

Yes , I think , do it .
Give in , let loose , go crazy .
I'm not afraid .
The only part of me that is brave,
Is when I stand and tell you,
“I'm okay... I'm fine.”

What do I get from that lie ?
That maybe one day,
I'll mean what I say.

You see, really,
I know.
I'll never be free.

Every single event of the day,
Touches me,
I feel the world against me.

I am always aware,
Yet I never know what will be next.
I worry all of the time,
What's around the corner,
What will be next.
 Mar 2013 Sleepless K
Kendra Hall
Cut
Those urges,
For the blood.
They make me go crazy.
It kills me.
I want to cut.
I want to bleed.
Cut
Speeding heart, heavy breaths,
I did this to myself.
Look, the cuts, so dark and deep,
Bring my soul to rest.

Trembling fear, poisoned thoughts,
Why the ****** slits?
Fall to sleep, red on sheets,
I don't think I'll make it.
Wrote this about 5 minutes ago, just off the top of my head.
People ask me why I cut
People say "Why would you do that?"
I'm too young to be this sad
People don't understand
I cut for me, I cut for pain
Emotional pain makes me sick
It is unbearable and all-consuming
Emotional pain in which I wallow
Physical pain is easier
Physical pain is short term
It allows me to Focus
Focus on the thin red line
The drops of blood pooling
I don't have to think at all
Nothing comes into my brain
Nothing but pain signals
No remembrance of ****
Abandonment and abuse
Cutting is my escape, my salvation
I am full of so many demons
When I cut I bleed them out
Each drop of red is a tear I've cried
Many tears and many red droplets
Physical pain overcomes me
Wraps me up in a ****** up blanket
Cutting is my drug, my escape
I am given the chance to numb
The ache in my heart is released
Through the valleys in my arm
Valleys carved into my flesh
Released through the blood
Pooling on the bathroom floor
A puddle of pain and demons
This is a puddle of me, all the
*****, nasty, unlovable, *******
Then there is a moment of bliss
That moment when I numb
Like right before they put you to sleep
The numb feeling of emptiness
I don't think about the demons
The demons in my head, screaming
They are no longer in my brain
They are in the puddle on the floor
No longer inside of me
Gone for a moment but not forever
Pain always comes back
This is why I cut, to quiet the pain
Cut
These cuts I make
Are small compared to my real pain
My wounds go deeper
Than any blade can cut
And they leave bigger marks
Than the simple scars
Blood flows out of my wounds
Yet I live on
My heart still pounds its steady beat
Even as I scream
My heart cries out for help
As do my lips
I will continue to cut and cry
Until at last I die
©Dustyn Smith
 Mar 2013 Sleepless K
Em
I can’t get you off my mind
I think about you all the time
I keep you close to my heart
I hope we never part
You make me smile every day.
Even if you just say Hey
You’re always on my mind
It makes me feel so blind
You say that I’m Amazing
I can’t help but gazing.
Even though we are far apart.
We can be together at heart.
Some days I just stare at your eyes.
That is when the time flies.
We talk for hours and hours on end
Forever and ever my friend.
I wish we were more than this
That would be true bliss.
I'm not the only one who's felt like this? Right..?
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