I spend every night that same,
lying in bed,
lying in pain.
Waiting for someone or something,
to heal my open wounds.
But I've been waiting and it seems,
these wounds ain't healin' soon.
I spend every night staring,
at a pale white ceiling.
And I wake every morning feeling,
like a forgotten doll,
propped up against the wall,
under the bed,
dust from head to toe.
I'm not sure if I'll ever know,
of a love like ours again.
And I'm not sure if I'll ever,
not feel numb again.
My mind is wired,
but it's wired all wrong.
Like an off key song,
it makes me cringe.
So tonight I will binge,
all the memories of us.
And then I will purge,
every last bit of trust.
Erase it from mind,
before the sun rises,
and then I will rise from this bed,
and pretend to live again.

Hand me a candle
though its dark inside
ill blow it out
and darling,
ill make a wish to die

Im not sleeping, not tonight,
Too many thoughts running through my mind,
Too many whispers, too much pain,
Rather think and think and start again.
Stare at the stars and think of regrets
Pray to my God for all the help i can get.

My thoughts they'll be louder than even my words.
Though as loud as they are, they'll never be heard.

No, my names not sweetheart, princess or baby girl
nor am I a brilliant star shining over the world.
And did you ever think that maybe
I don't want to be your baby?
I'd also like to mention
when I speak your attention
should be focused on my face,
not any other place.
Because your mental *******
causes much frustration.
Is it surprising to know I wanted more
than to simply be your *****?
So when you lie and say forever
I'll just laugh and say whatever.

I foster demons
So if have any that scare you at night
wake you from dreams with a terrible fright
make themselves known at inopportune times
or force you to contemplate terrible crimes
bring them to me.
Tell me your tales about sad childhood days
regrets for things done in a teens drunken haze.
Name all the people who hurt and betrayed you,
sick evil ******* who laughed as they played you.
Recount the memories that cause so much pain
open your heart, let the bad feelings drain.
I foster demons
I'll welcome them into my soul, I will tame them
directing their rage into good, I will train them.
And when the times right and I know they are strong
I'll channel their anger to where it belongs.
You see-
I'm working on a hit list, it grows longer every day
and soon those demon makers are gonna have to pay
I foster demons
Bring them to me.

It's suicide,
to show feelings you hide.

With the words slipping off my tongue,
brushing against strings,
too tightly strung,
a bad melody plays,
and it plays for days.

The melody resonates,
in the ears of the listeners,
but after bouncing around the brain,
exit, stage left,
leaving a mess.

And I am left here,
to pick up the pieces,
of what I fear,
is my heart.

So I hold my heart hostage,
inside the recess of my soul,
in a deep, dark hole,
where no one can find it.