oh, drag
it's you again
i miss not having to see you
how i hate watching you move
the way you speak in that unsure, adorable manner
the way you grin and look down to avoid eye contact that I know you secretly desire
you always loved gazing into my eyes
but no longer
oh, how i hate you
im sorry but its true
the way you walk, confidently but with sincerity
the way your hair blows messily in the wind, its long and curly now (the way i like it)
all of it kills me
it was just so nice being away
i grew out of my heartbreak and found marvelous, interesting things and people to steal my time
but just when i make a new and wise revelation
you walk in
basically renewing all of the feelings that i had crushed and forgotten
and i think you know how much worse it is now
the fact that you sit right beside me
and the way we converse casually about our summer happenings so far
we act like were classmates
friendly, but with no history whatsoever
what we had
whatever we could have had
is gone
except for the hidden cravings that you attempt to hide and push away
because you think it must be better this way
because you believe that she
is the wiser choice
so now all we are is
"just friends"

you've got to be kidding me

I have never held a hand
I have never kissed anyone.
I have never gone on a date
Or hugged someone
Not because they were my friend
(Or an eccentric great-aunt)
But because I wanted to.

I'm not ugly (I'd like to think)
I'm old enough to drive
And read Edmund Spenser
And apply for college.
Is something wrong with me?

To never be invited to share the world
Of teenager's deepest hopes and dreams
Never know that absolute sorrow
Alluded to by others
Never know that thrilling joy
Of being wanted.

I am independent.
Pure.
Alone.