I will always love you,
don't forget that.*

I didn't forget it,
but you did.

The more i do it,
the more satisfied i become.

I did what they wanted.

the more i cry for help,
the more stupid i feel.

You don't seem real anymore.

My mother hides things from me,
a lot of things,
but I can't be mad, I guess.

I do it, too.

I understand it,
you hate me.
But,
must you be so ******* immature about it?

And you will never know how I hurt.

You sat there with a pistol in your hand.
The bullets were the words.
They were shot,
and you never checked to see if my wounds were okay.

I don’t even know myself anymore. I look myself in the mirror and I see this girl who isn’t me. That girl I see in the mirror..her eyes look dead. They look empty. She’s crying, tears falling from her dull blue eyes; her eyes used to be so radient and happy. Her wrists, shredded up, along with her thighs. What happened? A few months ago there were no scars or cuts. She made herself into a hideous monster. Oh I’m not done yet. This girl, her words cut through people like a razor; just like the ones she used, she has no sympathy. She’s lost, panicking, you can see her anxiety rising, ripping away at her second by second. In the mirror you see her family, they look upset; she did that to them. They’re yelling, threatening. Her anxiety builds up more. Her family leaves, letting her cry alone. She can’t quite say anything right, and ends up taking it out on her beloved friends. She can’t take it anymore. She wants out, but she can’t leave. This girl in the mirror isn’t me, but she won’t leave. This girl creeps up on me, and she scares me.

"I need love!" I scream from the top of my lungs,
but he never hears me.
"I want you!" I whisper right behind his back,
but he doesn't turn around.
"Can I get to know you?" I question him as he turns the corner,
not even looking for who was talking.
"You're killing me!" I cry as he listens to the teacher lectures.
"Do you even know who I am?" I mumble as I realize he doesn't even know my name.
"I don't even know you." I say under my breath as he leans to his friend.
"Why am I doing this to myself?" I think as the bell rings and he leaves my view.

I get depressed
just thinking
about you.

How did 9 months
feel like an eternity?

What's happened to me?

I actually care about what people think.
I care about popularity.
I want the football players to like me.

I've lost sight as to what's true.
I'm not myself anymore.

Who am I?

MY LUNGS ARE FILLED WITH HATRED,
BUT I'M STILL BREATHING.
I'M SUFFOCATING.
PLEASE SAVE ME.

You're gone,
and I'm not sure how to cope.

I can't cut,
nor can I drink the pain away.

I just sit here trying to erase what is left of you.

I cannot see anymore.

I can now see
that you've forgotten about me.

I simply cannot speak to you.
Maybe it's not so simple, actually.
It's the thought of your smell.
I'm trying not to recall your smile.
I might have to ****** myself so I don't ponder over those things.
Your voice.
Your eyes.
My thoughts are cramped,
killing me by the second.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Soon I'll be dead.

I dyed my hair so that I do not resemble my father anymore.

Please,
get over yourself :)

This isn't fun anymore.

I just wanna **** his ****.

**** my parents and all they stand for.
**** my mom and the way she acts.
**** her for being who she truly is.
**** her for not being a real mother.
**** her.

**** my dad for who he is.
**** him for leaving.
**** him for choosing crack over me.
**** him for leaving scars on my arms.
**** him

You promised me forever.

When did forever become never?

I've never shaken with fury before.

Reminder:
She loved me before her.

I should be rotting 6 feet under the ground.
I should be growing into flowers.
I should be dead rather than waiting to die.

I feel the same way today











**** me.

It takes energy to love,
and energy cannot be created nor destroyed.
Does it mean that my love for you has always been and always will be?

There's still a war inside of my mind,
and it just won't subside.

Would it be too much to ask for
if I asked just to drop dead?
Would it be selfish for me to say
"I don't want to live anymore?"
Would it be bad if I took a knife to my
throat and ended it all?
Would anyone even be sad
at all?

I'm drunk and god, I miss you.

It's 5 am and I can't sleep,
because your face is haunting my dreams.

I'M BEGINNING TO LIKE THE FACT I'M DRAGGING MYSELF INTO ANOTHER BLACK HOLE WITH NEW WAYS OF DESTROYING MYSELF.


I THINK I'M SICK.

I HATE EVERYTHING I'VE BECOME AND WHAT UPSETS ME IS THERE'S NO WAY I CAN CHANGE IT.

I wish I could cut myself
without feeling bad afterwards.

THE DAYS PASS AND GOD I HATE MYSELF MORE EACH DAY AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS WILL STOP AND I NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND IT'S RUINING ME AND MAN OH MAN I HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE BECAUSE OF YOU.

I USE TO WAKE UP WITH BLOODSTAINED SHEETS AND A SMILE ON MY FACE BECAUSE I REMEMBER THINKING "YOU DID WELL" BUT I GUESS I'VE REALIZED THERE'S MORE I SHOULD BE PROUD OF THAN SELF DESTRUCTION.

SHE'S IN MY ******* BLOOD.

I'M SO ******* SICK OF WRITING ABOUT THE GIRL THAT PUT FLOWERS IN THE DARKEST PARTS OF ME.

I wish I had
the **** sway of her hips
and lips that sing ***** words
and ****,
those eyes,
they lust over the man of her dreams.

I just want to be hot and appealing,
is that too much to ask?

April21April21April21April21*
You remember, Sky,
the day you wanted to **** yourself?

YOU SAY YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY BUT ALL HE WANTS IS HIS HANDS ALL OVER YOUR BODY YOU SAID IT YOURSELF AND ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ME WAITING FOR YOU AND YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO COME AROUND.

I'm so tired of thinking of the girl
who doesn't give two thoughts
about me.

IM TRYING TO SLEEP BUT ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND I GOT TINGLES IN MY FINGERTIPS AND A POUNDING IN MY CHEST BUT NOW THAT TINGLE IS GONE AND THAT POUNDING IS NO MORE.

I haven't met you,
yet I feel as if though
I have touched your heart
in ways
no one else has.

Why do I try to stay in touch,
when it hurts me to know
you're in love with
someone else?