You'll have to talk to the poet,
He's not around
Right now.

I don't write'em

I just edit'em
(I'm no good at spelling
Don't know much about grammar
Sonnets
or
Iambic pentameter,
his moods,
his states of mind
what it is he's trying to define
or
find.
Not sayin' that ignorance is a good thing )

I just post'em
and
let'em go.

The poet?
You'll have to talk to him
and he's not around
right now.

This world is a
walking place
surrounded by
a million faces
eyes that don't
recognize
your sighs,
hands that never
touch the shoulders
or the mind
That's the Glory of Love

Challenges everywhere
every failure and
success
spoken into darkened
hallways,
the music's playing
in another room
another house
another bed
That's the Glory of Love

When the body's in pain
the couch so hard
No position works
no encouraging words,
a purse or a nurse
they won't work
That's the Glory of Love

A tender touch
in a tender place
warmth and light
in this cold place
a moment of peace
when held so close,
a heartfelt giving
a heartfelt receiving
two hearts beating
singing
in perfect harmony
That's the Glory of Love.

The Nevada hillside
led me down
among the Pinion Pines
past the filled in
silver mine,
the cowboy coffee ***
on the ground.

The wind blew
through the trees
without a sound-
before my eyes,
I saw a sight,
as spider webs
one by one
one after another
spun
glimmering in the afternoon sun,
Spider webs
spiraling past,
Thinner than thin
stronger than strong,
Blowing from where?
Blowing to where?
Spun and spun
through that air.

A mustang came through the trees,
I looked at him
he looked at me -

These mountain hills
held
the echoes of  dreams,
come and gone,
Spider webs blowing through the sun,
riding upon the horses of the silent winds.

Sunrises in your eyes,
Silences of the dawning skies,
the grace when you stride on by.

  Soft songs
your child sings in rhyme.

The rainbow
when the rain is still,
the silence of my heart when
I lay with you -

Birds that fly so free,
the ocean wave
as it drifts towards me.

Winds blowing high in the trees.
Sleep as it descends on me.

Beauty in the flowers
we hold within.

Nature's course,
it comes and goes,
we know.

There's beauty in
our harmony
our poetry
our one singing voice.

There is beauty
in the lives we
live, as they
run
their course.

She comes to me
bleeding inside
from a thousand
individual scars
with pleading eyes
self contained
She speaks in gentle
refrains

"I don't know where
I'm going
I don't know who
I've become
I go through the motions
deaf, blind and dumb
I dance on cue
I stand in line
I've tried to be so
good.
I've left behind the darkness
I've forgiven the past
I'm far too aware of time
It doesn't matter really I don't mind
I wish I could tell
you what I find

The struggle between
my internal world
condemnation
irritability
judgement
fears
heartaches there, vile rages, petty hatreds
*** dancing on the head of a
pin
exquisite laughter
it's all there.

While my behavior is quite the
opposite
accommodating, loving, compassionate
flirtatious, curious
connection is my goal

When I'm alone I'm lonely
when together suffocated
the best distance is
from here to there

I wish I could tell
you that I mind

The storms still
come and go
luck rides the
tides
each day the
sunrise

This human stuff
is all too real
it creeps up on you
so you don't know
how you feel

Which is why I've
come to you to
speak my mind
they say you are the
complaint department
the garbage collector

I'm bleeding inside
from a thousand scars
that's not to say I really mind."

They say the healer
must heal themselves
so of course I ask
"How can I help you?"

He was far too disorganised
driving too fast
here and there
with no particular place to go.

She was a neon light
flashing
in the black Mojave night
a celestial mansion
alive
with such sweet smells.

He now had a purpose
a story to tell of
a
thousand fantasies
hotter
than the hinges
on the gates of hell
sparklers of desire
flaming through neurons on fire.

He was lite up
like
neon
in the dark Mojave night
all he could see
was
delights
in
every window burning bright.

Her fingers beckoned him
her eyes pleaded
her breath said
yes yes yes
her
body
danced and swayed
perfect harmony with all he craved.

He moved closer
moment by moment
movement by movement
to
take her to places promised.

He reached to take her hand
there was one
exquisite flash
disintegrated
shred into ash
on the pointed arrow
of
her forever flames

Just like that.

He exchanged his
routines
for the
long dusty road,
he exchanged his
jeans
for a long white jacket
he called it the "white robe."
His hat said "Home"

He took off on the
road only travelers
go.

He had a pretty girl
he was was going to see,
then he knew
he would have to leave.

He stopped saying much,
mainly "thank you"
and "please".

He had exchanged
his mind set
for a new set,
his confusion for clarity
his narrative for poetry,
many said
it had led him astray.

He exchanged his
fullness for emptiness
and
began to take it all in,
the old dusty road became
the only way he knew at all.

He would stand in perfect silence
and
hear it all.
He would stand in perfect stillness
and
travel it all.

He exchanged his awake routines
for dreams.

He traveled here and there,
where ever
that dusty old road
would take him,
some places made sense,
some were flashes
of total innocence.

He had exchanged
his expectations
for creations.

He could love you on the road,
be with you
but with you
he would never go home.

Rumor has it
it was his fatal flaw.

He had exchanged
success and failure
for
experience,
he avoided many a cliff
many a fall
in having it all.

You won't find him
hitchhiking
panhandling
soliciting or pandering
selling drugs
or
in bed with your mother.

You'll find him in the whispers
you hear
in the rainbow aura
around street lamps
on night time
deserted streets,
the meteor at midnight
the green flash at sunset.

He had exchanged
staying for going
and
he was on his way
with dust devils
blowing
behind him.

Poetry is too long too short too harsh
too real to ******* believe
when you're down on your knees begging for forgiveness for everything you feel.

poetry is too hot too cold too bold to fold.
too real to really feel
unless your heart is breaking.

poetry explodes your soul creates heat creates cold. drives the trembling soul right through that ******* hole.

poetry is all I know.

I've got many things
on my mind
I might as well
talk to you.

I'm twisted
I'm disturbed
I'm vice ridden
I'm desperate too.

You look okay
I might as well
talk to you.

My life has been spent in shadows
trying to emerge
I've swept the floor
washed the windows
did the dishes too
I guess that is what they call this life.

I've seen the tunnel on one too many codeine
Grandma sent me away

I've gone astray
I blew up my future
behind *******
My children say
I gambled it all away.

One mellows in their old age
No time for anger
No time for drama too.

I've learned to accept myself
Accept you

That testerone
it blows up
it calms down

Sleep it goes way too fast
I wake up to another day.

I've rubbed myself raw
I know what it means to be deranged
I know what it means to long for it too.

You understand.
Don't nod off now
I'm coming to the most interesting part

But I woke up
in another horizon
Woke up on another plain
Another dimension has called my name
This life I now savor.

As you have said
I know it is predictable moves
A complicated game
I never learned to play.

Another opportunity
to prove I'm never
what I'm supposed to be.

I've done the best I could
with what I've got
With that I am at peace

I apologize for everything
I have ever been,
But I am alive
I'm still breathing
have another day to
prove it all again

I've got things on my mind
I might as well talk to you.

Fire
fire
in the sky
burned so bright
burned so high
how was I to know
it was the end of time.

Meteor predicted on
its way
flashed incandescent
as it made its way,
shattering into a
million fragments
atmosphere burning
fires starting
nuclear winter
envious of its
power.

A lone figure
on a hill
never knew
such loneliness
as this,
took your hand
and
one last kiss.

The meteor bright
brought the end of time
rendering all of our
fears, petty jealousies
brutalities and stress
our issues
our loves
irrelevant.

If I had known this
before
freedom wouldn't
have been that painted
she-male *****
seductively calling
to me for more -
but could have been
a moment before
that meteor made
its call.

The fires have melted
the stars have
been renewed
the planet continues
its spinning around
the sun
the deepest ocean fishes
continue evolution's marching orders
while a cell phone alarm
flips on
and
the icon shows "no signal"
while beneath
the rubble a
malfunctioning relay
finally finds
that call made
hours ago
and the phone
rings and rings
beneath the
ashen snow
until the last
silence
no one is home.

Mother Earth
finally restored
to
its
silence
once again.

I don't know what I'm doing,
I don't know where I'm going,
I don't know who I'm being.
I keep getting asked this riddle
for which I have no answer,
An answer with a riddle
I can't decipher.

I'm only trying to be
the vision I'm a seeing
but it seems sometimes
so meaningless to me.

I can only nod and smile
as my words are delivered,
I can only look at the door
and wonder who
it was that stole the mirror.

I know somewhere
a breeze is blowing
but it isn't inside of me
I keep watching my shoes
waiting for one of them to make a move.

I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm supposed to be.

Where do you look when you are so lost
and can you tell me
what will be the cost
to find one's heart's desire,
I don't have the answer.

I don't know the road ahead,
a rearview mirror floats in my head.
The darkness is on either side
I know I have these flashlights
hidden somewhere inside.

Listen closely
you can hear your name
calling you,
But this time instead
down the road
I will go.

I don't know what I'm seeing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I can't find the road to being
I only know what I've been told
I only know what I believe
my mind has been known to deceive,
I don't know who I'm trying to be,
I guess I'll find it as I go,
Moving on down the line,
One more time.

You can come along with me
but only if you want to be.

A full moon
or
was it the dreamlight
through the window?

Woke me up
Wandered around for a while

Went back to sleep
for an hour
had a dream
(inside the dream?)

That told me everything

I forgot it all immediately

something familiar
a mood that lingers

a rare experience
a questioning feeling

I find myself
I keep on singing

Merrilly Merrilly Merrilly
Life is but a dream

Is it the dreamlight?
or
was it the moonlight?

I wake up
I had a dream
it told me everything
I forget it all
immediately.

I taste death
in every food I eat
I see beauty
in every face I meet

It all once lived
before it died
One day maybe
nothing will need to die
for mankind to survive

I see beauty
in the face of every  person I meet

The public world
of shopping malls
Supermarkets
Working's pall

Inside while primitive
fantasies
still reside
Rageful tides
Spiderwebs blowing down hillsides

Carrying  on a private conversation
in a public gathering
"a little privy please"
There are no walls
in the outhouse
The outhouse is lined
with mirrors and windows

The rules are the rules
even for desire
tho sometimes we all do
a mashpit at the opera

Everything has a taste
Internal
External
make a mistake
it's back to the wild
Food for fodder
fodder for thought

Still seeing beauty
in every face I meet
Tasting death
in every food I eat

Makes water in
the desert
so so sweet.

Your eyes held the beauty
of sunrises in the morning skies
Your art knows the realities
of a thousand disguises

Your fingers touch inside my beating heart

You know where I go to hide
You pull me out
You put me in
I am your puppet
you pull the strings

I am lost beneath your gaze
without a word to say.

There is beauty in the warm winds blowing our way
The softness of our quilted bed

Your breast is a pillow
I lay my weary head
Your heart is a home I can stay
when I've lost my way.

Your eyes are
my sunrises
lighting the way.

She lives for the mornings
when all is beginnings
She lives for the evenings
when all is endings

She slogs through her
days
dazed
and
numb
no words rhyme
no lover comes,
her morning songs are sung
in baptismal
daily showers,
her dreams are
strewn in patterns
on curtains
in warm night winds blowing,
she sings again when the
nightbirds
sing.

Her mornings are
hopeful
Her nights are
resolved
Her games are
played at noon.

If she looks you straight in the
eyes
you'll know too soon,
She knows everything about you.

Her words will
come when they are ready,
Her beginnings are short
Her endings are long
like the night

Lady of the morning
Lady of the night
I will be beside you
when you finally decide
to take flight.

Light and darkness
while in her day
she pretends
as
she moves along
in
her own way.

Where have all the Peacemakers
Gone?
Have they gone awry
Have they gone astray
Have they all died away?
What exactly are they doing
Today?

We face a universe's
Insatiable hunger
For death
On this small blue speck
Ants on an anthill
In the middle of the forest
Just off this path
Slaughtering each other
Over one
Miniscule mound of sweat.

We knock on the door
I'm hungry please let me in
When I'm hungry enough
I'll kick that **** door in.


Where have all the Peacemakers gone?
Whose coming with the light of dawn.

Every night on the news
The death report reports
And the cumulative sorrows weep
For the innocent
While genocide marches
Through the streets.
I can hear their cries from here.

Tell me dear
Where have all the Peacemakers gone?

Have we
Has the universe
In its insatiable hunger
Really
Killed each and every one?

I watch the apocalyptic
Dawn
And I can't help but feel so
Alone.
So I reach out to you
In affectionate
Hunger
And bury my face
In your breast for a
Moment's rest.
While in my heart are all
The cries
Of all the generations
Who have asked this before
They died

Where have all the Peacemakers gone?

And why?

"Where you now are
I once was
Where I am now
You will be."

You're my walking song
You right my wrongs
You walk with grace
in flowing lace
You're my song unsung
You're my walking song

You're my child
on their way
I hold you when you need me to
You're my walking song

It's a song unsung
This song we've begun
It's a melody caught in the breeze
It comes with the wind
And is gone towards the sea
It's a cumulus cloud unfolding
into a red red sky
It's a melody I hear
through my night time
window

You're my walking song
You've been delivered to me
My lips
My life
My love
is singing

My eyes are seeing the notes
before me

You're my song unsung
You're my walking song.

Gather people
for a story
so profound,
Not created by me,
But a rare, rare reality,
Where forces so profound converged,
Generations forward
were forever altered.

Where one person's heroics
were another's fatal error

Where a family's love
was smothered
in
the churning waters
of Big Lagoon.

Big Lagoon sits
north of Agate Beach
shining treasures can be found
in the gathering sands
To the west,
The ocean rises and falls
To the east,
The lagoon's placid grassy waters roll.

It was an Indian Summer's warm, warm day,
Everything it promised was delivered.
Two days after Thanksgiving,
I remember it well,
the fog was gone,
the sun was high.

A family dog beach walk

Howard and Mary,
Olivia,
Gregory, every one called him Geddie,
Geddie's girlfriend, Lily.
The family dog, Fran, chasing sticks
in the ocean and in the sand.

Time stopped for
a diamond moment,
sun reflecting off the ocean.

To chase a stick
Fran ran
a ten foot wave
took her under.

Geddie ankle deep edged forward
when within that frozen moment
another giant wave emerged
the cliff that is the sand gave in,
in the merciless embrace
of the terrible wave,
He was pulled under.

Down the beach
Howard ran
plunged into the waters
to save his son,
He only found
Kingdom come.

While Geddie made his way
out of those frozen waters
and could not find his father,
Called by what unknown voice,
He dove back under,
Not to be found
for hours and miles later.

What is the power of love
which would propel each one?

Mary watching this unfold
could not abide their fate
and herself plunged in
for one last attempt
at saving grace.

The ocean says
"Many have fallen in
but few survive."

Mary and Howard
rolled
in and out
in that frozen water's breath.

While Olivia and Lily
frantically
called 911
and struggled on the beach
out of reach.

The power of the ocean
the power of love
had made three
one.

30 minutes later
Fran ran out
looking to play
one more round.

If by the Pacific Ocean
you stand
see urgent footprints
in the sand,
By chance
you hear the plaintive cry
of
"Marco Polo"
voices calling to one another,
It is the ocean singing
their last lullaby.

You can't see it
You can't taste it
You can't feel it
Or smell it
But it doesn't mean you
Can't sense it
Or
Know it.

A breeze of moments
A one way street
A steady river
Always the same
Always in a state of change
Only moves in one direction.

Youth and its expansion
Age and its contraction

Time swirls around us
Through us
Dragging us along
One moment taking forever
The next moment
A fading light in the distant past
No wonder of endings I think a lot.

Yesterday 10
Tomorrow 80
Seems like forever
But never really is
In stacatto bits
Of memory
Flashes
Lies
Some true
Some false
Some recovered
Some not at all.

Continuity of self and I
Until
We are
Eventually
Slipping
Into
That black hole
Of
Time
Like a galaxy
Spiraling
Down the drain...

One thing
on my mind
Our midnight
kiss
Perfect bliss.

Turn the other
into an object
that's where
genocide begins.

Manipulations
of the economy machines,
Sweeping labels
capture all,
That's where incarceration
to
slaughter begins.

Rapists
cockroaches
infidels
the unclean.

I put this log
into my woodstove
the pill bugs
scurrying for cover,
I feel a heart felt flicker,
Light the match,
Go upon my day,
Never looking back.

What does it take to treat
people
that way?

Where conscious
loving
living
human beings
transformed
by a look
into
pill bugs scurrying
for cover
with a fire storm,
No one
Every one
knows
is
coming.

Our love it
comes and goes

Rich and poor
I pour my
love into these lines
But our silence
Knows no bounds

Poor and rich
I seek the lines
to describe
the love
I feel inside

Rich and poor
I walk this beach
alone
The days they run together
The shore line is empty
Squall lines long
heading my way
Rich and poor
in these words
I have to say

These rhymes
they sound
so
empty
now

Poor and rich
as we are
you come
into my arms
for these moments
all wealth is
found

Rich and poor
you head
on out
and are
gone.

I've fallen
into a torpor pit
swirling blackness
seals my lips
I close my eyes
but all I see is me,
Disengaged
Deranged
there is no reason
for this smothering gray.

I feel your hands
but they don't penetrate,
Your breath is sweet upon my face,
laughter comes from another place,
this silence remains my only respite,
My words are stifled
in my chest,
My poetry shoots blanks
where ever I tread.

Motivation is a thing
of the past,
Desire's gone at last,
Being is all that's
left within my grasp.

Lavender love in
technicolor plays
out on a screen,
Life travels on the
wisps of Monarch wings -
Breathe heavy and
hot,
Breathe light and cold,
My words they freeze
when they hit the snow.

I know dances unfold,
But no dance partner knows
the darkness that's become my
trembling soul.

It is to this enclave
I go
from time to time,
the winds outside
still howl my name,
While demons
bang on the walls
of my shame.

Call it a mood,
Call it a funk,
Call it the blues,

Sometimes
these holes just open,
Inside I go,
No ladder
only a shovel
wouldn't you know.

Doors without keys,
Echoes without sounds,
And all there is
is
the
darkness
I
have constructed
all around.

On the stage
under the lights
in front of the auditorium seats
a
Sneering, jeering, laughing
audience at
one on the stage
The spinning shimmering
hologram
of
all my fears
reluctance
guard rails
concrete barriers
perpetrators
and
victims too
rememberings
and
anticipation
stood

Connected to me
by
a long tether
And
along that tether
my
power flowed
away from me

Into the performing
Mannequin
on
that stage.
Who was the puppet master?

In a moment of freedom
or was it just pique
with my golden scissors
the
tether was
cut.

The shimmering stood
for a moment on stage
the crowd became silent
and
looked away.

In my moment
of release
I wished it well
compassion and peace
and
I was finally free.

When peace finally comes
A softness in the winds
The fires are gone
The quiet has come
Except for the nightbirds
which sing their songs

The shadows get long
Children's egos disintegrate
Meltdowns fry the atmosphere

The skunks come out

Moonlight after twilight
Sometimes to linger
Call out to the coyotes

Get old but stay young.

Waking up one morning
It's a normal kind of day
Only there are bulldozers
on their way

It goes this way:
At the end of your driveway
down to the right
in front of the picket fence
The land is graded
a horizontal drill brought in
made to feel at home

You see,
We you me may own the land
But the mineral rights are theirs

A concrete utility structure goes up,
in what do you think?
About three weeks?

Chemicals are shot
horizontally under the land
under the house
to release the gas from the sand
While the ground water
is fearfully shivering
it knows
its days are numbered.

The concrete utility chimney
pouring out chemical smoke
24 hours a day.

The  County says,
"What do you expect us to do?"
The State says
"***** You "

Cancer clusters
Sick kids
Chemical water tasting very weird

Guess what?

Whether it be our 89,000
189,000 or 889,000 dollar
American dream home
The dog is going to be
taking a **** in the backyard
claiming ownership.

Welcome to LA too
No matter where you are
Every other day
the earth is shaking
buildings tumbling
Dance Dance Dance

Dots on a map
thousands of them
all around us
coming our way.

Better take a drive
next time on talk radio
"Drill baby Drill"

All hail Exxon
Cars love Shell Gasoline

The old USA
******* gas
And it sure ain't nitrous
cars idoling on a stop and go freeway
finding our true purpose
a grounded oil derreck
for the Koch Brothers
He who pays the piper calls the tune
Oh yeah
Drill baby Drill
I'm heading up Highway 101

The Earth hot and *****
for a new life form

Welcome to the new world order
Welcome to the new USA
Purloined, poisoned, polluted
The United Petro States of America.

Hey Hey Hey

We started a conversation
Many years ago
It never really ended
There was always
More to go.

It's in our conversation
It's in the eyes we both behold
Whole world's inside
Our conversation
They just continue to unfold.

Some may call it love
Some may call it
Talk talk talk
We started a conversation
And until it's ended
I have no where else to go.

Landscapes
may change
Friends and names
may come and go
Children
Ourselves
We all grow old.

Conversation
Our connection
Started many years ago
It never really ended
There is always
more to go.

The  mountains
have called us
The ocean too
It's on these walks
I talk with you

One more conversation
And maybe we'll be through
But first I know
I will be listening to you

We started a conversation
Many years ago
It never really ended
There is still always more to go.

We poets,
tour guides
to
the
ever-changing
internal
landscape.

"This is Tom Clay
on KRLA
It's seven forty eight
there's a sigalert
on the Ventura Freeway
and you are already
too late for work
might as well stay home
and
get into some rock'n roll.

Comin' at you with
Baby Baby Baby
by
S Bonney and the Velveteers"

Baby baby baby
won't you step outside
with me.

The moon light's bright
if I give you one kiss
would it be all right?

Baby baby baby
won't you step outside
with me.

The Aspen it's a quaking
my heart it's a breaking
my mind it's a trembling
my knees are a shaking
like Elvis on tv

Baby baby baby
won't you step outside
with me.

You said he was your best friend
the benefits part I don't think
I ever heard again
and any way
your eyes are shining
Benny E King is singing
a warm north west
desert wind is blowing

Baby baby baby
won't you
step outside with me.

"Remember in the department store
of life
the sports department is
always next to the toy department.
Tom Clay
KRLA, LA
signing off
L.A. it's your day. "

My brother and sister
We were there,
childhood
it all comes and goes
Could you please
give us
a little more time?

Hitting home runs
Peaking way to soon
How dare you?
Could you please
give me a little
more time?

Strung out on
Chemistry and hormones
Rock and roll
never sounded so
good

One more level
One more time
Could you please?
if I ask you nicely
I'll be your best friend
Just give us a little
more time

Dragging a mattress
out into the pine forest
We were so perfect
Bliss and oblivion
At least until
the campers came along
Could you please?
I guess
I'm begging you
if you could
give us a little
more time

While my baby is an infant,
a woman now
I'm asking you
to
give us a little more time

There is magic
in the music
in the air,
You're something
We're dancing
Never coming this way again
That's why I'm asking
could you please
give us a little more time?

The work is good
The days are long
Summer
No pain anywhere
Keep it coming
I'm always begging
Could you please give me a little more time?

I know we'll be repeating
when sleeping in the linens,
Every one is there
Love everywhere,
I'll be pleading
Can you give us
please?
a little more time
and maybe
one more rhyme.

when the moon was
red
The ocean luminescent
she was a starry
eyed girl
with a northern star
and a direction to go

Epiphanies unfold
like ribbons in
the winds

Decisions
they come
in wishful
longing
or
careful planning

Throwing caution to the wind
she took the first boat to
the island.

There he waited, an
apprentice to an ancient art
Preoccupied and isolated

She of the northern
star
had a sense of
direction

Settling into a
parallel universe

They were like
two kiwi bushes
across a fence
3 years later in
vined embrace
Produced the fruit
that never ripened
and over night
was gone.

She took the
last boat back
the northern star was
encased in fog
But
the southern cross
She couldn't miss it.

The glory of nature
in all of its transformations
the dawning of consciousness
the surrender of love
the struggle for survival
the dance between
the  light and darkness

The meteor shower
the child's first step
the child's first smile
the cocoon unspun
the spider's daily web
the many mornings
come and gone

This observer of
what is and what is not
consumed with awe

Melting solids
to dust
liquid to vapors
riding life's lightening
thunder's laughter

From oppression to freedom
From slumber to wisdom

The glory of all nature
instantaneous and gone
the ink on the page
the sun gone nova
the event horizon
random particles
converge into being
dissipate and defuse
from movement to entropy
ashes to ashes
stardust to stardust

The poet ever singing
the glory of transformations.

Started with
Happy New Year
spelled out
in rails of *******
carefully measuring
which letter
was largest
each of us got one
you
remember.

Carolyn
came with me
she was dressed in red
she figured that bowl
of quualudes
was
all meant for her.

The gang was all there
passing out gifts
rusted out back scratchers
found in the garage
no kids yet.

Sheraton spoke in mysteries
his wife Jane
hustled me behind the shed
Joaquin
was  drunk on his knees again
screaming for ***** and poetry
Patti
had recently found recovery
and I was spending my time
trying to convince her to drink.
The party didn't begin
until
Mary and Stuart arrived
our personal gurus
took us all
one step higher.
Olivia and Aaron
had
much to hide.
Davey
was
the ring master.

We
didn't have to go to the circus
we were the circus.

Little Feat
were still willing
the Dobbie Brothers
in high pitch
were still chillin
the Dead played amazing riffs
Bob Dylan was street legal
the Boss was depressed
the
sound track to our lives.

I gotta job
working in a drug free program
all the staff
sat in a VW van
having a staff meeting
and
passing a joint.

Carolyn and I
kinda got married
had a big party
I knew I was in trouble when
she launched herself
on the bed of gifts
and tried to swim
up stream.
I
learned all the messages
of
Alanon
in one brief flash

Everything passes
everything changes
we all know that.

I got a real job I wasn't qualified for
missed a deadline at school
tossed out on my ***
no 26 year old
Ph.D.
for me
just another suicide
on the horizon
saw my grandmother
and
the white light
but
also at the job
met the future mother
of my children
and of course
she was to be
my
future ex-wife.

When Carolyn found this out
she
brought
a gun to my work
to
tell me what she
thought about that
it ended all right
on that night.

I lived in Laurel Canyon
in a beautiful garden
on Wonderland Avenue
John Holmes
was my neighbor
bigger than life.

1978

It ended as it started
with *******
the big chill crowd
together again
one last look back at the year
in
Super 8
Davey's traditional dance as historian
for the year that passed
one last look
and
farewell.

gives exquisite attention
speaks with grace
flowing through the room
touching everyone
Groundhog day
six weeks later
telling you your life story
though you might have just met

I tell my son be careful son,
(also reminding this heart of mine,
you'd better not walk that line)

Look in the eyes
there's a white light shinning
focused right on you
feels so good
easy to misjudge what you're seeing
easy to take for granted

The day it's going to come

The white light blinking out
The exquisite attention
somewhere else

(This heart of mine, I put on notice)
I also tell my son,
be careful.

White boulders
laying side by side
on the Mad River
incline
at low tide.

Boulders breathing
sliding heaving into
the waters currents,
Inquisitive
black eyed faces
with
perpetual smiles,
Maybe they're just built
that way.

Babies crying their mother's name,
But only the River
hears their call
until mothers
as they usually do
return
to nourish their off spring too.

One day not far away
these babies cries
go quiet.

Sand banks fall into the river
the only sound
as the tide
starts flowing back on in.

The ocean one way,
The river the other,
Converging at the mouth,
the two mingle
singing to each other,
Ocean waves
River currents
as the tide changes
from in to out
somehow just like life itself.

One day not to far away
boulders slide
moving into the water
without a mommy cry,
The Mad River
by their side
or
immersed
in the comings and goings
of the tides
sleeping
white boulders
side by side,
Barking from time to time.

You crawled into my sheets
To warm me up
But
When you left
You
were
so
Cold.

Joys
of
imagined
**** scenarios
Never
having to say
"Sorry".

The Navigator stands
at the top of the hill,
a spotlight illuminating the fog,
looking for a direction.

The stars are gone,
another moonless night,
all he has is his intuition
and questionable insight.

And so the dance of change begins

Moving outward
while moving in

Like a blind man at a drive through atm,
wondering how he got there,
listening for a sparkle
looking for an animal spirit in the dark.

There are cliffs and caverns
sinkholes and canyons
along the way

He's been known to fall
and rise again -
while heading towards the river

The Navigator, he is an expert
on moving in the darkness
looking for that one flash
our lives on display

The Navigator, he knows the signs,
sometimes right sometimes wrong

The paths have many directions to follow
But with the first step
all other paths
fade away.

Decisions are made

The Navigator, he has his day,
his way.

(Adult Content )

















"There was a smell of **** in the air "
So said Henry Miller.

Women in Love
in the old wood shed
He loved her ****
or
so he said.
Lawrence lingered in rooms
filled
with old echoes.

***
Eroticism  (hormones)
takes the body
Myth takes
the mind.

***** brain
where everything is
******  parts
T & A
**** and ***
Sell that soap
Cars love Shell Gasoline
Lenny Bruce
went down for that.

People have life force
some call it souls
Personalities
Lives on their way
Better get an AI robot
have it your way.

Objectify
Deny

What is this
****** stuff
anyway?

Get close
because I love you?

******* dreams
all night long?

Madonna/*****
Male or female
doesn't matter
either can be
either one.

The bed has been made
Looks like someone
must have had a
seizure
in
it.

Eroticism/Hormones
take the body
Myth takes the mind
But
When you come (***)
you're done.

Wait a half hour
start all over again
you know
when you're young.

In your ship of
white sheets
you set the sail
you leave the shorelines
of consciousness
and begin to drift
from the docks of reality.

First you cast your fantasies
then your visions
in hypnagogic imagery
cast you
as you wait for the winds
to take you
into the currents of unconscious seas.

what do you see?
what do you experience?

Those living memories
of
other places
other times
other lives
a string of faces
a hotel with many rooms
and no exit signs
and
as you open doors
on different floors
you find
yourself
at different ages
on different stages
familiar terrors
sometimes vivid
make you shutter
falling into
quicksands of blood.

On the roof of this sea
you take flight
and are free
when you hit the heights
you're in your car
with a stranger and me
we give you directions
and
at each turn progressively lost
panic sets in
late for work and can't find the way
your GPS
keeps pointing to the fact you're here.

Small craft warnings come and go
the lighthouse beckons you back home
to the shoreline and the dock
but first you crawl into the
arms of the sexist soul
you know
as your finger tips touch
this night's
journey is done
as
your alarm
sings out
The Four Seasons.

Headlong to the shore you ride
your breath is taken away
you throw your rope to the dock
of reality
and have that moment
of longing and wonder
when dreams can be life
and
life can be dreams.

A big sigh.

You've bought your ticket
for
tomorrow night's voyage
where it will go
you just don't know
but
when you get there please let us know.

You get out of that
cozy warm white sheet ship
and
put on clothes
with the sunrise
and
the half cut moon
your traveling companions
into
your awakening.

To Do List
Item Number 1:
Return
to the
Present.

Denial of others
is an easy thing,
Label them
responsible for
everything,
If they are gone,
We'll all
be okay.

We hear the same tune,
Everywhere we go,
Among our friends,
Small office spaces,
Family members,
the black sheep,
Don't you know.

Corporate meetings
in board room splendor,
Fingers are pointed
at those,
Identifying those who disturb our peace,
Interrupt our greed.

Blame becomes epidemic,
Get rid of them,
We'll all be okay.

Pulpits of every denomination
scream at
those who would be so,
Just get rid of them
We'll all be okay.

Changing times
enemies become allies,
The doomsday clock
moves up a notch,
Get rid of them
then we'll all be
okay.

Well,  it's just
you and me,
As Dylan said
"I won't be the last to leave."

Get rid of them,
I'll be okay,
We both say,
I look at you,
You look at me.

Alone at last,
No one else to blame,
I'm looking in the mirror,
I'm pointing at
me,
Get rid of him,
Then we'll all
be
okay.

There is a cumulus cloud
which ascended
thousands of miles high
into
the blue blue skies
the cloud
rolled in
riding the trade winds
following
the half cut moon.

As this cloud traveled
along those winds
covering
the stars and blackened sky
every human consciousness
on
the planet
was combined
in
the voices and desires
of
all mankind.

At first
the clamor was too much to bear
I
was frozen there
my head in the clouds
but
as the winds
blew
that cloud
across everywhere
we
became
one
silent mind
and
the celestial songs began to sing
and
in our hearts
peace
was finally found to begin.

Fire and water
Immortal mortal enemies
They've never seen
eye to eye

One turns the other
into cold dead ash
The other turns the other
into
evaporating  gas

The earth,
The universe
seems to love them both
equally

One catches us on fire
The other calms the burning ember

One gives us light
One gives us life

Fire and water
when they encounter each other
touch
connect
erupt
into
their exquisite
cosmic dance.

He carries a black widow spider
in his pocket
it keeps him alert,
he's tattooed from here to there
he always liked the pain,  
an endorphin ******.
He wears a Mohawk too
His belt is a live rattlesnake
he doesn't like to be bothered

He's a dangerous man in a dangerous world

He met Ray
a princess from Bakersfield
She had a smile that
opened the heart
He looked at her
He looked at his life
He had looked at one death too many

He paused
Much to his surprise
He chose life
His heart it creaked on open

She saw something in him
I'm going to have to ask her
what it was.
She turned on her healing light
offered acceptance,
When violence calls
She taps his shoulder
and no one  knows why
but he feels the warmth of the sun
rotating in his chest
he walks away,
it's okay.

Will they make it into the everlasting sunset?
Your guess is as good as mine
But for now
their love is what
legends are made of.

I'm a rockin
I'm a rollin
I'm a twisting
I'm a turning

Can't get you out of my mind

It all started so slow
No smoking at the bar
Hendricks and juice
watching the show

You danced on by me
with someone I didn't know

Eye contact
The games between us begun

Now all night long
reliving our moves

Still hallucinating you next to me

Your eyes, they penetrated my skin
Your eyes they
hypnotized my mind
Agitation
Fascination

But of course you left with him

There's a scent in the air
I'm feeling your presence
everywhere

My mind is on fire
My body is too
there is a longing desire

Not ready to forget you

I'm hugging my pillow
my sheets
they are burning

I'm rockin
I'm rollin
I'm twisting
I'm turning

Can't get you out of my mind
I'm not going to even try to.