Poetry is too long too short too harsh
too real to ******* believe
when you're down on your knees begging for forgiveness for everything you feel.

poetry is too hot too cold too bold to fold.
too real to really feel
unless your heart is breaking.

poetry explodes your soul creates heat creates cold. drives the trembling soul right through that ******* hole.

poetry is all I know.

As poets
we listen for the songs
of the singing trees,
There is no road map as to where to go,
Our GPS, it doesn't know,
Goggle maps hasn't gotten there yet,
The internet will tell you what it knows -
Some rehab
some restaurant
some business selling shoes.

It's not on Facebook,
My phone may be smart
but it doesn't know a thing
about the songs of the singing trees.

My Twitter account was attacked by a cat,
I swear I tried to rescue it,
But it tweeted away
as it got jumped over the fence.
The t.v. drones on and on,
HD pictures explode.

Our eyes, tho, are far away from all this,
Our voices, they long to harmonize
with the songs of the eons,
The songs of the singing trees.

You and me and Thoreau
sitting by the pond, the river, the ocean,
All day long
in this solitude we know,
Watching the light dissolve,
The moon, it rises too,
While we
together
me and you,
Thoreau too,
Listening so carefully
for the lilting epics
of
the songs of the singing trees.

smoking his "peace pipe",
Pontificating about
this and that,
he doesn't know a *******
thing,
but he has an opinion about
everything,
always certain
seldom right,
you'd be glad
you're not
his kid or his wife.

The old guy with the peace
pipe,
don't ask him anything,
he'll tell you about
everything.

You're ****** if you do,
you're ****** if you don't,
better go elsewhere
while the getting is good.

There are details you
don't want to even know,
you don't gotta love 'em,
they don't love you.

But when you're looking
in his eyes while he's
smoking his pipe,
you just know
in your heart
it's going to
be alright.

Destiny's child
had a smile,
"How are you doin"
She winked.

"There have been many
close calls,
I've done my best
Afraid you'll have to do the rest"

Yanked out of the way
of that car
flying by at a hundred miles an hour
paused just long enough,
Didn't fall when surrender called.

There was that 18 wheeler
changing lanes fast,
Snow flying everywhere,
Couldn't see me,
Moved on over to the center divider,
The only place not concrete,
Destiny's child
she likes to smile,
Laughs with glee,
A tinkerbell to me.

The CHP didn't look into my pocket
"Please"
Destiny's child
she's been on my side,
I just go along for the ride,
She takes care of everything.

We've all had 'em
many close calls,
Almost near falls,
Some have her
some don't,
Some survive,
Some die.
Directing traffic,
Destiny's child,
Roads not taken
every once in a while.

There she goes laughing,
She can be pretty wild,
Destiny's child.

There ought to be a Tarot card
with her name,
When she steps in
the game will change,
She knows how to dance on the
head of a pin,
Change generations
with a gleeful laughing grin.

Destiny's child
She was there that night,
When I was looking through the circular light
Stop sign with a grin,
She knows when you gotta end,
She knows when you gotta begin.

You'll catch her out of the corner
of your eye,
When the light's just right,
She ain't up there with the green flash,
But she definitely has class.

Destiny's child,
I'll be grateful to her
'till the last gasp.

There's a little boy
crying out into the night,
His mother's arms
hold him tight,
He puts his head
on her shoulder,
Nightmare dreams,
They disappear,
With a shudder he begins to feel,
a little sanctuary
so near.

There's a homeless man
sleeping outside tonight
behind the mall,
His beard is long,
His hair is *****,
He changed his clothes
in a thrift store
late last week,
the voices scream his name,
All he's looking for is
a little sanctuary.

There's a politician on
the stand
had *** with another man,
Tried methamphetamine
religion too,
Even hypocrites
are looking for
a little bit of sanctuary.

There's a woman on the road
tonight,
Two kids sleeping tight,
Johnny Walker's asleep
in front of the tv,
There's an internet
between her and her lover,
She turns up the music,
Patsy Cline's singing
Stand By Your Man,
All she's looking for, though, is a
little sanctuary.

The money's gone
the house is going,
The ***** is flowing,
The tears are rolling,
He steps outside
on the deck,
looks up at the stars,
Smokes a cigarette,
Looking for a little sanctuary.

Lover's up in a cabin loft,
twist and shout,
Grasping at straws,
Grasping each other,
Holding on tight,
For a moment of bliss,
Come on in,
Give'em a little sanctuary.

Insomniac mind,
Racing thoughts,
Won't shut off,
The days are long,
The nights are longer,
Every fear and dread,
Keeps raising their ugly head,
Quiet her thoughts,
She would if she could,
But all she can do is wait,
For a little sanctuary.

Soul survivor knocking on
the gate,
Waiting for the light,
Waiting for a world just right -
Putting away all sin and vice,
Hoping for a little sanctuary.

Garden Buddha sits on the path,
hands unfolded,
Quarter smile on his lips,
Serenity's smile,
Mastered the art of waiting
and just being,
A little sanctuary.

These poems I write tonight,
Words all tumbling
through my hand,
I don't know what I write them for,
I don't know where they go,
Where they land,
Only trying to see through
sanctuary's door,
maybe there's a little more,
A little bit left for me and you.

It can be so hard to find,
Maybe it's just a state of mind,
Sometimes so close
Sometimes so far,
We long for the day
to have the night,
We long for the night
to have the day,
But either way,
We're all just looking for
a little sanctuary.

Denial of others
is an easy thing,
Label them
responsible for
everything,
If they are gone,
We'll all
be okay.

We hear the same tune,
Everywhere we go,
Among our friends,
Small office spaces,
Family members,
the black sheep,
Don't you know.

Corporate meetings
in board room splendor,
Fingers are pointed
at those,
Identifying those who disturb our peace,
Interrupt our greed.

Blame becomes epidemic,
Get rid of them,
We'll all be okay.

Pulpits of every denomination
scream at
those who would be so,
Just get rid of them
We'll all be okay.

Changing times
enemies become allies,
The doomsday clock
moves up a notch,
Get rid of them
then we'll all be
okay.

Well,  it's just
you and me,
As Dylan said
"I won't be the last to leave."

Get rid of them,
I'll be okay,
We both say,
I look at you,
You look at me.

Alone at last,
No one else to blame,
I'm looking in the mirror,
I'm pointing at
me,
Get rid of him,
Then we'll all
be
okay.

Turn the other
into an object
that's where
genocide begins.

Manipulations
of the economy machines,
Sweeping labels
capture all,
That's where incarceration
to
slaughter begins.

Rapists
cockroaches
infidels
the unclean.

I put this log
into my woodstove
the pill bugs
scurrying for cover,
I feel a heart felt flicker,
Light the match,
Go upon my day,
Never looking back.

What does it take to treat
people
that way?

Where conscious
loving
living
human beings
transformed
by a look
into
pill bugs scurrying
for cover
with a fire storm,
No one
Every one
knows
is
coming.

Alone
Couple
Family
Tribe
Clan
Village
City
City State
Nation
Continental Economic Blocs

Gaia
the blue marble
spins along,
alone
in
The great vacuum
sea.

I
remembered you,
you
remembered
me,
I believed in you,
You believed in me,
We were both sea creatures
traveling
uncommon seas.

We had taken to that
unconscious ocean
to see in the sea,
What we could see.

It's been a strange journey
of that there is no doubt.

Where everyone walks with
their insides in,
We travel these seas
with our
insides out,
We don't know any other
way to be
when you're swimming through
these
uncommon seas.

It's often a desert
out there,
But inside here
all kinds of musty
characters
drudged up from
anxious memory
inhabitants of this sea -
Sponge Bob Square Pants
has
nothing on you or me,
We are all travelers
in this uncommon sea.

Our bathing suits left far behind,
the temperature sometimes
too hot
too cold
depending on our state of mind,
There's strife
confrontation
character assination
often
uncommon seas
are far from placid.

The joy of traveling
though
you and me,
Sea creatures
feeling
the longing,
Finally belonging,
Where somewhere
and
sometimes
out of the blue,
A Beluga whale
speaks
your
name
so
perfectly
and
swims alongside
you and me
in
uncommon seas.

We poets,
tour guides
to
the
ever-changing
internal
landscape.

One day you're here,
the next day there,
No connection
between the two
but you.

Not like a boat
leaving the dock
and having the
shorelines fade
slowly away

Not like an airplane
above it all
when it all becomes so
small,
Until landing
brings it back up
to size,
Not like that at all.

Not like watching
them waving,
Fading away
as you drive down the street.

Yesterday at work,
In love,
Home with your parents,
Your spouse,
Your children

Today it's not present at all,
Whole ways of being,
Don't dissolve,
The program changes,
Lights on,
Lights off,
Maybe a flash
in-between,
But that's all,
can you tell me, my friend,
What does it really mean?

Yesterday, today, tomorrow,
I guess we are not all three,
The present is not a flow.

Just you and me now,
As we go.

All is
this composition book
in front of me,
With one more period
to go.

Rain
always
falls
on
Sorrowful
days,
Nature's
built
that
way.

I've lost my mind,
when I awoke
this
night,
It wasn't there to find.

The last time I used it,
We were playing
"tenuous tides"
Move in
Move out
We couldn't decide.

I've looked for it
everywhere
under the couch,
behind the stove,
out in the shed,
in the cat's bowl,
I even looked in all the drawers
where we used to store
the important scores.

I went down the block
putting up
"Lost"
posters
on every telephone pole.

Now I sit on this porch,
waiting patiently
for my phone to sing,
watching hummingbirds
******* or fighting
hard to figure out
anything.

waiting and waiting
for my mind
on its little
legs
to come down the lane,
running on home
to
me.

I've fallen
into a torpor pit
swirling blackness
seals my lips
I close my eyes
but all I see is me,
Disengaged
Deranged
there is no reason
for this smothering gray.

I feel your hands
but they don't penetrate,
Your breath is sweet upon my face,
laughter comes from another place,
this silence remains my only respite,
My words are stifled
in my chest,
My poetry shoots blanks
where ever I tread.

Motivation is a thing
of the past,
Desire's gone at last,
Being is all that's
left within my grasp.

Lavender love in
technicolor plays
out on a screen,
Life travels on the
wisps of Monarch wings -
Breathe heavy and
hot,
Breathe light and cold,
My words they freeze
when they hit the snow.

I know dances unfold,
But no dance partner knows
the darkness that's become my
trembling soul.

It is to this enclave
I go
from time to time,
the winds outside
still howl my name,
While demons
bang on the walls
of my shame.

Call it a mood,
Call it a funk,
Call it the blues,

Sometimes
these holes just open,
Inside I go,
No ladder
only a shovel
wouldn't you know.

Doors without keys,
Echoes without sounds,
And all there is
is
the
darkness
I
have constructed
all around.

lord have mercy
on my free and easy ways

I'm going to go with the flow
where ever it takes me,
When I find the music inside
I'm gonna dance

lord have mercy
on my free and easy ways

You know my words
they sometimes sting
I never mean to do you any harm
when the music moves me
I'm going to sing

lord have mercy
on my free and easy ways

I know sometimes
I'm gonna get used
I'm going to make you happy
if I can
I get down on my knees
lord have mercy
on my free and easy ways

Sometimes a boy
he's gotta
be free
people are going to be
what they gotta be
I'm a lover
not a fighter

lord have mercy
on my free and easy ways.

If
every
moment
is
in
flux
will
you
get
stuck?

The Nevada hillside
led me down
among the Pinion Pines
past the filled in
silver mine,
the cowboy coffee ***
on the ground.

The wind blew
through the trees
without a sound-
before my eyes,
I saw a sight,
as spider webs
one by one
one after another
spun
glimmering in the afternoon sun,
Spider webs
spiraling past,
Thinner than thin
stronger than strong,
Blowing from where?
Blowing to where?
Spun and spun
through that air.

A mustang came through the trees,
I looked at him
he looked at me -

These mountain hills
held
the echoes of  dreams,
come and gone,
Spider webs blowing through the sun,
riding upon the horses of the silent winds.

Sometimes
you
need to call
in
sick
to
your
self.

The it upstairs
thinks it's God,
But it isn't.
Man or Woman,
It comes in a thousand genders.

It's only has one mind,
Its own pleasure,
The power of Now,
Well, that's what it's all about.
The cost,
Well, that's no problem.

It begs
It borrows
It steals
It pleads
It lies to you straight faced.

If you bleed,
When the consequences are paid,
It says, "Not me"
"We'll deal with it later"
"One more time"
"One more round"
"One more rodeo"
"One last time for the road."

It's pretty smug
most of the time,
Can't move your
arms or legs,
But whips up anxiety
if
you say, "No. "
It'll show you resistance is futile.

Though it only hangs
around
for little while,
It'll let you know.

It speaks to you
in the third person voice -
You deserve it
You need it
You've been so good.

It'll talk you into trances
strange self-destructive dances,
Twist you upside down,
Inside out.

It ain't God,
Somebody needs to talk to it soon,
Let it know,
These days of running the show
are numbered,
There's more to life than this slumber
Numbness has had its abundance,
Talk to it soon
While there's still time.

A whisper, though, says something different,
"How's about
one more
time. "

She lives for the mornings
when all is beginnings
She lives for the evenings
when all is endings

She slogs through her
days
dazed
and
numb
no words rhyme
no lover comes,
her morning songs are sung
in baptismal
daily showers,
her dreams are
strewn in patterns
on curtains
in warm night winds blowing,
she sings again when the
nightbirds
sing.

Her mornings are
hopeful
Her nights are
resolved
Her games are
played at noon.

If she looks you straight in the
eyes
you'll know too soon,
She knows everything about you.

Her words will
come when they are ready,
Her beginnings are short
Her endings are long
like the night

Lady of the morning
Lady of the night
I will be beside you
when you finally decide
to take flight.

Light and darkness
while in her day
she pretends
as
she moves along
in
her own way.

White boulders
laying side by side
on the Mad River
incline
at low tide.

Boulders breathing
sliding heaving into
the waters currents,
Inquisitive
black eyed faces
with
perpetual smiles,
Maybe they're just built
that way.

Babies crying their mother's name,
But only the River
hears their call
until mothers
as they usually do
return
to nourish their off spring too.

One day not far away
these babies cries
go quiet.

Sand banks fall into the river
the only sound
as the tide
starts flowing back on in.

The ocean one way,
The river the other,
Converging at the mouth,
the two mingle
singing to each other,
Ocean waves
River currents
as the tide changes
from in to out
somehow just like life itself.

One day not to far away
boulders slide
moving into the water
without a mommy cry,
The Mad River
by their side
or
immersed
in the comings and goings
of the tides
sleeping
white boulders
side by side,
Barking from time to time.

When your mind is shattered
Your eyes are blinded
There is pain everywhere
you go
Don't give up and
Don't give in

When the wheel of fortune
is stuck at 6
No hope remains
Don't give up
Don't give in
Noon will be coming around
again

When loneliness is
your only friend
and
it keeps calling you names
Don't give up
and
Don't give in

There are times
when life is
ablaze with horrors
but
Don't give up
and Don't give in

Those that survive
are those that find meaning
those that passively
take to their bed
are bound
to
perish
Don't give up
Don't give in

When the law's
got your name
and no payment can be
made
and
you have to go
along with their plans
that have been laid,
Inside, where you hide
Don't give up and
Don't give in.

Time only stops
once
Don't give up
Don't give in.

drove
many routes
to find the gold.

Singing on street corners,
rhyming for dimes
and quarters,
Searching sensations
to find the map,
only left him further
from his goal.

Showered shaved
shot up hope
in a golden syringe,
filled his tank
and headed out
towards those
blue mesa hills.

He, of course, could
not find the route,
confusion
became
his only best friend.

He
spins and spins
whirling dervish
disoriented,
there was no gold in dizziness
when he spotted it
he
spun
right past it
gone in a direction unknown.

The driver drives
many routes tonight,
spots many islands of neon,
he finds silver in her arms,
copper in the dice,
brass in the door handles,
diamonds in the rough,
he finds dirt for his grave.

There was no other gold
along the way
there was only the gold
of living
and that
had already been delivered.

Pharmaceutical Commercial

A senior serene woman
with blissful eyes
lays down in a garden of dandelions and kale
spreads her legs to the warming sun.
"Lack of desire? Ask your doctor about Libidothan.
Side effects may include:
Nose bleeds
liver damage
heart failure
marry your daughter
make you touch your toes
stand on your nose
Grows hair on your head
Gives you *****
Grows hair there too
Makes you feel so funny
like a long neck goose
make you shout out
baby that's a what I like!

Inform your doctor
if it cures you or kills you"


Phone Tree
"Please listen carefully for our menu has changed. Your business is very important to us.

Press one to speak with the universal complaint department.
Press two to find out the exact moment and cause of your death.
Press three to find out who your lover is having an affair with.
Four to speak directly to god or Santa
Five to speak to satan.
Please leave a message.

This voice mail is not monitored.

Have a nice day!"

Pastoral Chic
(On the label of chicken parts)

The McDougal family farm
set in the rolling green hills,
Petaluma California,
Where small towns know how to live,
And neighbors take care of each other,
Our family farm,
Five thousand square feet
of slaughtered chickens
feeling the love of what it means
To be in a family farmers tender care,
From our ****** floors
to your dining room table,
From our family to yours
with tender loving care.
(No antibiotics/gluten free/humanely destroyed)

There is exquisite beauty
out
in the gardens of delight.

Eckhart Tolle found
while sitting, homeless
on a park bench
watching the world go round.

You think you
have it wired,
just before it all
falls apart.

A bagpipe empty of air,
An accordion on its side,
Gasping for air.

Shaking rockin and rollin,
Nepal ground,
It all unfolds
after a while
captured
dusty and dying
under the rubble.

**** with nature,
It'll **** with you.

Beginning as a solid silent
predictable mix
until it isn't
what it isn't.

It'll take a while
until it all settles down -
streaks and slumps
we've been over this ground.

Structures erected
nature's forces take over,
Life changes,
You hold on tight
searching for solid ground
when the waters come around.

Self inflicted,
Victims of circumstances,
Bad timing,
"Structures are known to become unstable,"
Eckhart Tolle
said
just before he became
rich and famous.

Well
this is goodbye
my one true love,
The flowers on the sill
are a wilting.
It was just a
matter of time
once you knew
my frailties and charms,
You would have been a leaving.

The days were hot,
Now they've turned cold,
We could ask where did
the fireworks go,
Do we need to know?
Really does it matter?

Don't waste your poetry
on the likes of me,
I'll be leaving
after the sun goes down
when you are sleeping
peacefully.

Our one true love,
This poem will
become
one more forgotten
memory.

It's a sticky situation
when your lover is
in flames.

Hold on tight
to whatever it is you mean,
You are going to
take a ride
around your beliefs,
find out what is true.

Beware if that spark
touches you,
You're going
to dance on fire
too.

We don't have to wait,
Halloween comes every day,
Shadow figures on their way,
The side show
The freak show
The funhouse across the bay,
We go there on purpose every day.

My light is kind of
fading I can see it
in the mirror
I can't quite see my way
to make it there today.

Your flashlights
in this funhouse Darkness
continues
to light the way,
for lost and wandering souls
as it has every day.

Humor
Grace
The soul whisperer
A lone long walker
The warrior spirit
A solo ocean swimmer
The darting eyed organizer
with the heart of gold
A stand-up comic
The old old sage
willing to fight it out
in the bleakness factory
every day.

As I make my way
to the exit sign
I can hear the five o'clock
screams
the lobby scene
cops dragging
a woman
screaming my name
I go anyway.

For those kind souls
left behind
as
the listener hums a tune
in his own mind
closes the door
one last time
with a sigh,
finally
has left it
all behind
saying
a
short prayer to the passing
of time,
for those who put their
love and compassion
on the line
in every way
every day.

To Do List
Item Number 1:
Return
to the
Present.

Rainbows cross the silent sun,
The full moon lingers on the horizon still,
The comet has come.

The Earth stands still,
A cosmic event unfolds,
The winds are silent now,
The Earth beholds us here,
Wondering what it is we are doing.

The last woman standing
sinks to her knees,
Her tears to the soil falls,
A flowering life unfolds,
Ancient cycles perish,
New intelligence begins,
We behold what we have wrought
and
What we can create.

A cloud forms into a giant question mark
across the vast skyway,
Eyes seek answers
undefined,
Time stands still
we still don't know why.

As a chorus
we all sing our song
love emerges
in a single sound
stillness echoes
peace is finally found.

The crime families
had arrived
long before our time
dressed in suits and ties
jeans and lies.
Con games
transparent,
No one's even too embarrassed
or even
bothers to try and hide it.

It's all a racket
better believe it

Student loans
Insurance
Medications to save your life
Credit cards
House payments
Rental agreements
The military industrial complex
the war machine
The grocery store
The grocery store
The Supermarket
what do you mean you gotta eat
at least the poisoned air is free.

Elections
thrilled with bribery
The gas station
cell phone bills
electrical payments
moving violation tickets
Banks with smiling faces
Bound to get you on your knees
begging for more.

Guess what?
What ever you think you are craving,
You know that's a racket too
every time you turn around
they're going to take their vig
off of you.


When you get to heaven
you are going to find
one fact for sure
that's a racket too.

There is always reluctance
an airy breeze
in the hot room
stinging
whispering
"no no no".

It comes with change
it comes with
beginnings and endings
reluctance comes no matter what
in frozen dread
in anticipation read,
how far is it
from here to there
and to where
and to whom
do we go?

Reluctance in fear
seems to know
what you are most afraid of
but no matter so,
put on your dancing shoes
pull out
your roller skates
too.

Time's a storm
that's blowing through
though your sails
maybe tattered
it doesn't matter
it's moving you.

Reluctance
certainly has its say
in an impotent kind of way.
Choices made
not made
While we all grow a little bit older
grow a little bit wiser
each and every day,
Reluctance
is
going to grab you
make you see its way.

Depersonalization
Derealization
Dissociation
Delusional
Hallucina­tions
Confabulation
Perseveration
persevered.

Clanging
Rhyming
E­cholalia
echolalia.

Paranoia
Ideas of reference
Thought blocking
Internal stimuli
Thought broadcasting
heard
every way
every day.

Mental disorders
or
poets extraordinary

The Paiute anthropologist
locked up on the
inpatient unit
with visions of the ancestors
dancing in his eyes
said
"See these folks
you have locked up,
In ancient days
from the desert hills
they came our way
delivered truths
in their special way.

"Once they had their say
On desert winds
they blew back
up to their hills
away
straight away. "
"Can you please
give me the keys.
I've said what
I had to say. "

A
single flower
on a young peach tree
glowing neon pink
in the morning sun
a single promise
of
what we all can be.

I don't know what I'm doing,
I don't know where I'm going,
I don't know who I'm being.
I keep getting asked this riddle
for which I have no answer,
An answer with a riddle
I can't decipher.

I'm only trying to be
the vision I'm a seeing
but it seems sometimes
so meaningless to me.

I can only nod and smile
as my words are delivered,
I can only look at the door
and wonder who
it was that stole the mirror.

I know somewhere
a breeze is blowing
but it isn't inside of me
I keep watching my shoes
waiting for one of them to make a move.

I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm supposed to be.

Where do you look when you are so lost
and can you tell me
what will be the cost
to find one's heart's desire,
I don't have the answer.

I don't know the road ahead,
a rearview mirror floats in my head.
The darkness is on either side
I know I have these flashlights
hidden somewhere inside.

Listen closely
you can hear your name
calling you,
But this time instead
down the road
I will go.

I don't know what I'm seeing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I can't find the road to being
I only know what I've been told
I only know what I believe
my mind has been known to deceive,
I don't know who I'm trying to be,
I guess I'll find it as I go,
Moving on down the line,
One more time.

You can come along with me
but only if you want to be.

My poems are
lost down a shady grove,
They've taken up residence,
In a rainbow room,
Reflections cast on four white walls,
Whispered from this closing tomb,
Singing songs no one knows,
Poems lost in airy ether,
No one knows where they go.

My poems ride the winds,
Cascading down,
Tumbling into oceans
to be buried within,
When no one is looking,
They rise again.
It has been said
in space, no one can hear you scream,
Silence known far to well.

My poems are silence
in a darkened room
banging on consciousness door
to be set free,
Thought bubbles floating
in the breeze,
Set free, finally.

Pop.

A tiny spider in a tidal pool
struggles to survive.

All around us
all the time
every nanosecond
every millimeter
every tick of the atomic clock
nervous systems
electric
signals for survival

You know the ones
we call it
fear and panic
life and death struggles
all around us
all the time
one goes on
one stays behind
to decompose
and
scatter.

Cells
Stars
Multiverses
universes of branes
colliding,
beginning a new round
of
winners and losers.

Matter snaps in
snaps out,
no one knows
where
they come from
where
they go.

Infinitely
smaller and smaller
Infinitely
larger and larger
on
every level
all around us
all the time
the
struggle to survive.

Do you mean what
you say
Do you say what
you mean?
Is this some kind of dream?

You brought me in here
you held me so close
you whispered my name
in that breathy kind of way
which I know
will sing
through
to
the last refrain.

Your eyes they softened
your touch it awakened
I surrendered to you
I held on too long.

I know now
with your leaving
soon
I'll go back to the room
from where I came
I'll be crying your name.

Do you mean what you say
do you say what you mean
Do you really always see me that way?

I thought there was
something so new
something about you
that burned
each night
through and through.

Now our eyes look beyond,
the golden ribbon is cut
lays tattered
in the changing winds
while you walked one way
I walked another
thinking about your spoken words
which said what they meant
and meant what they said.

Now what is left to say
will stay
unspoken.

Shame guilt embarrassment
for every breath taken
every moment recollected
every meal prepared
every look looked

All face

Every dance floor danced
every talk
every walk
every poem written
every relationship passed

The Faux Pas A Moment Club
has my email address
keeps texting me
emailing
for donations
I
Give Give Give

The future is not much better
when the pity *** is filled
overflowing
everywhere seen ahead
is filled with
dread.

Your eyes held the beauty
of sunrises in the morning skies
Your art knows the realities
of a thousand disguises

Your fingers touch inside my beating heart

You know where I go to hide
You pull me out
You put me in
I am your puppet
you pull the strings

I am lost beneath your gaze
without a word to say.

There is beauty in the warm winds blowing our way
The softness of our quilted bed

Your breast is a pillow
I lay my weary head
Your heart is a home I can stay
when I've lost my way.

Your eyes are
my sunrises
lighting the way.

since before I was born I can remember time picking me up and carrying me along in its embrace it held me close never letting me down never stopping along the way sometimes speeding up sometimes slowing down freezing in slow motion moments it has never let me down running on through these presents here Passing here past time's arrow only moving in one direction no instant replays no do overs leaving traces of memories some false some recovered some discovered left with the traces of remorse and guilt in pain to tend along our way
time my sweetest friend and enemy
of endings I have always thought a lot these days these ways these happy unhappy joyful passing passing moments with you I held on tight to your impartial embrace knowing full well one day on the ground you will lay me down

Gather people
for a story
so profound,
Not created by me,
But a rare, rare reality,
Where forces so profound converged,
Generations forward
were forever altered.

Where one person's heroics
were another's fatal error

Where a family's love
was smothered
in
the churning waters
of Big Lagoon.

Big Lagoon sits
north of Agate Beach
shining treasures can be found
in the gathering sands
To the west,
The ocean rises and falls
To the east,
The lagoon's placid grassy waters roll.

It was an Indian Summer's warm, warm day,
Everything it promised was delivered.
Two days after Thanksgiving,
I remember it well,
the fog was gone,
the sun was high.

A family dog beach walk

Howard and Mary,
Olivia,
Gregory, every one called him Geddie,
Geddie's girlfriend, Lily.
The family dog, Fran, chasing sticks
in the ocean and in the sand.

Time stopped for
a diamond moment,
sun reflecting off the ocean.

To chase a stick
Fran ran
a ten foot wave
took her under.

Geddie ankle deep edged forward
when within that frozen moment
another giant wave emerged
the cliff that is the sand gave in,
in the merciless embrace
of the terrible wave,
He was pulled under.

Down the beach
Howard ran
plunged into the waters
to save his son,
He only found
Kingdom come.

While Geddie made his way
out of those frozen waters
and could not find his father,
Called by what unknown voice,
He dove back under,
Not to be found
for hours and miles later.

What is the power of love
which would propel each one?

Mary watching this unfold
could not abide their fate
and herself plunged in
for one last attempt
at saving grace.

The ocean says
"Many have fallen in
but few survive."

Mary and Howard
rolled
in and out
in that frozen water's breath.

While Olivia and Lily
frantically
called 911
and struggled on the beach
out of reach.

The power of the ocean
the power of love
had made three
one.

30 minutes later
Fran ran out
looking to play
one more round.

If by the Pacific Ocean
you stand
see urgent footprints
in the sand,
By chance
you hear the plaintive cry
of
"Marco Polo"
voices calling to one another,
It is the ocean singing
their last lullaby.

And I
will be by your side
And I
will call your name
And I
will sing your songs,
speak your praise,
And I
will dance with you
And I
will speak with you,
Hold you tight,
take your time,
make you right.

And I
would have come much sooner,
If I had known you
were so lost.
And I
I'm on your side
I'll hold that light
against the darkest night

And I
will sing your name,
we will take our time
until
morning comes again.

Weary of my days,
Weary of my unspoken ways,
The tricks and games
the mind will play.

Feeling weary of the rains,
The trials and tribulations of being a slave,
Weary of the looks when I speak,
Weary of the battles,
Weary of the crooks,
Weary of the screams,
Weary of those being so mean.

Fault or blame
it doesn't matter,
Weary of the meaningless chatter,
Small talk on a foggy day.

Weary of this life sometimes
in every way.

The darkness will come soon enough,
Weary of these darkest thoughts.

Lay me down
in a cozy comforter,
Morphine to make me numb,
the weariness
just lasts a moment,
Savor it
then it's gone
and
done.

I was invited,
She was dressed in red,
A long sleeve blouse
to hide
the upper arm gills,
Cuts inflicted with
perfect knife skills,
Invited by the friend
of a friend's friend,
That never slowed her down.

She appeared before me,
Inviting me to her bed,
When I said, "Hello"
She was wounded and insulted
and told me to go.
When I started to leave,
She lay on the bed,
Threatening suicide
if I left.

She held me in high esteem
or so she said,
When I came forward
she told me to "drop dead. "

It's a black and white world
in her head
with no hues or colors
but dripping dread
it's what happens
with trauma's invalidation,
No boundaries, no barriers
rip tides running
takes her under.

Everything changes in a
moment
from tears to rage
and back again.

"I'm warning you," she said.
A gut check,
I thought I was up
to the task,
When she was silent,
I just had to ask,
"Is there anything I
can do to help? "

She jumped out the window
made a mad dash.

I sat on the curb
to consider my fate
smoke my last cigarette
she had taken my pack.
I fell into my shoes,
Staring,
Waiting for one of them
to move.

"I love you sweetheart" she said,
"You'd better go,
I love you sweetheart
don't go away.

I love you sweetheart
stay here - no not
there
over here. "

A dancing puppet,
I learned to love her truly.
I made the moves,
Learned acceptance, too.

Then she saw you.

I returned from the borderline
a little less smug
not so refined,
Now late at night
when anxiety has passed,
She comes into my mind,
I toss and turn
fall off the bed,
I don't know if she's
alive or dead
in
heaven or hell,
A test for all those
who think they know love.

If you fail, you pass,
If you pass you fail.

Beware of uninvited guests
dressed in red.

playing outside
in the frozen air
we didn't know
what we were
doing
didn't know
where we were
going
You grew so
beautiful
I beheld you
there
saw your face from a
far
You had forgotten
I was alive
just a wild poet
you had written off
a playmate, from your childhood days
as you
moved on your way
through your rich and seedy
days
your mind
your look
your talents
moved you through
to what you thought
you knew
you wanted.

We were both still
so free
I had fallen deep
into the blues
I spent far too much
time far too confused
while you walked
on water according
to the news.

You were playing Reno
on a cold winter's
night,
much later
at a backwaters bar
called "Night Times
Delight"
I walked in
you walked in
childhood grins
over Hendricks
gin
hands touched once
lips touched twice
we danced out there
on that
night
we were just
children there
playing outside
in the frozen
air,
Body heat
creating steam.

Maybe it was
just the gin
fingers touched
you went
your way
fingers touched
we went our ways
childhood answers
on a winter's day

It's hard every once
in a while not to
see your name
the only place I
come your way
is in your deepest
dreams of childhoods
refrain
laughing outside
in the frozen winds
two melting snow
angels are all
that remains.

For you I'll always
be there
For me I'll be
someone who cared
we'll be an aging memory
in this bond
across our time
in the ether
we'll play our lines
and in our dreams
it'll always be
and in our dreams
we will always see
a childhoods
winter sky
alive.

The tree dies
but keeps on growing,
The soul dries up
but keeps on crying,
Lovers leave
but we keep on loving.

Our children keep growing,
But we keep on trying.

The mysterious darkness
keeps on descending,
Light will guide our way,
We are gone
but in memories
we live on.

The earth keeps
on spinning
but
we stand so still.

The ash remains
but we keep on
burning.

Everything is lost
but we keep on
finding.

In the place
between dreams
and awakening
everything is remembered
but we keep on forgetting.

The poem is done
but we keep on going,
The poetry is gone
but we keep on writing.