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Sjr1000 Nov 2015
I've returned from the cyclone
Not quite intact
These images are haunting me
Every time I close my eyes.

No patience for people
Their ways take me under
I erupt in fury far too often.

My arms are a Jackson Pollack
My face in the mirror a Salvador Dali
I'm trying the best I can.

The doctors throw cocktails of drugs
my way,
I don't remember who I am
or care to even try
Your either against me or on my side.

I've been hurt too many times
My eyes are likely to swim to the side
I'm dizzy
I'm dumped

My days are too long
My nights are too strong

You think you've got it rough
A little empathy, please
Think of what it's like
to be me.
Not autobiographical, dedicated to all those who suffer from past trauma and Post Traumatic Stress, healing is possible.
  Nov 2015 Sjr1000
SE Reimer
~

the smell of timbers,
aging in the sun and daily misting;
neath the shuffling sound,
footsteps of a man,
bucket filled with daily catchings,
the reeling in of memory’s castings,
of creosote's faint lifting,
drifting on the breezes;
of old tackle boxes,
of shrimp and lures;
the gatherings of hands,
ragged and weathered,
the collecting of years;
of hand-me-down hooks,
bobbers and sinkers,
the odd bits of dust,
gathered in corners,
pliers worn by use and rust,
save from drownings
grateful rainbows
one by one,
their too-short lives
extended with each
catch and release.

tired ropes wrapped
’round bent iron ties,
summer-time-baked...
cracked and dried,
by day's too old to count,
the numbers, the flutters,
since this heart began its bleeding,
it's journey beating,
floats of faded red and blue,
recall of a yesteryear
of a grandfather renewed;
the one-time, one-day
he and i walked
hand-in-hand
down a dusty road
to an old, wood fishing dock
on a grassy river bank;
dock and day long gone,
but love-scribed now,
deeply in this memory.
a day with rod and reel
when on a river long ago
a boy and a man,
an afternoon of fishing
to his heart listening.
a wistful day
of boyhood’s dreams
now in wishful haze;
forgotten midst
the growing years,
tumbling out in verse,
those smells, the sounds,
now reel out words
between the tears,
now catch-releasing,
a heart's docking...
and memory’s rebirth.

~

*post script.

funny, this memory thing... how we can be so not conscious of what lies ’neath its surface, but then is reclaimed in vivid, YouTube vision by the smallest sight, sound, or smell.  with a childhood spent 8,000 miles and an ocean away from my home country, i have scarce few memories of my grandfather.  today i am grateful to reclaim this one, a tearfully joyous recall of a six-year old's wonder-filled afternoon,
caught and released so long ago.
Sjr1000 Nov 2015
A ghost town stands in the Eastern Sierra
just up the road from ancient Mono Lake
A long dirt road, you have to take

Now a dead mining town with its buildings
still intact,
There were riches everywhere,
once it boomed and roared.
The bad man from Bodie, he was once called.

But between the winters,
the end of timber,
the mines ran dry
a killing every night,
There is silence now,
All those riches returned to sand.

Oh, America,

It's the killings
everyday
every night.

Where America, I ask of thee
Where America, does all this violence breed?
So many on the ground to bleed.

42,000 shot
and still counting
killings everyday
killings every night.

America
oh America
Where does it come from
all of this rage?

Frustration
Anger
Cold blooded eyes

Harsh life
in the boom town
Hard to get it right?

The Old West
is
the New West
life is short and desperate

Another shot rings out in the night.

We're all dancing as fast as we can
or in the can
numbed out by alcohol, speed and ******,
eyes buried deep inside electronics.
Anything to make it all right
as the walls close in.

Depression they say
is violence and homicide
turned inwards instead.

The Old West had the Civil War
The New West has its
endless wars

here we go again.

We're all alone
in this world
that's for sure.

It hurts my heart
to hear her say,
"Goodbye God, we're going to the old USA"
"Goodbye God, we're going to Bodie" was reportedly said by a young girl whose family was heading to Bodie to live.
Sjr1000 Oct 2015
"Dear John
By the time you read these lines,
I will be gone."

The rocking chair,
The only piece of furniture
Remaining

"Dear John
By missing the deadline for your
Dissertation
The school will not have you
returning."

The books are boxed

The rocking chair rocks on
With every breath
Taken.

You don't have to die
To have lives wilt and cry.
Looking around through curious eyes
Nothing which was remains.

"Dear John
Your lease has expired
You will be moving on."

The rocking chair
Rocks on.

The twilight seeps in through
Windows without curtains.

The door opens
A moment of melancholy
The door closes

The rocking chair without him there
Becomes still
In the twilight air.
The first stanza, "Dear John, by the time you read these lines I will be gone" is from a 1988-1992 American sit-com called Dear John, it was the opening theme song.  Always thought it was pure poetry.
Sjr1000 Oct 2015
Reach and fail
Reach and
                   fail,
Coming to terms with who is who
And what is what
What gifts have been given
What gifts will never be delivered
Where the darkness reigns
Where the light rains
Where love remains

Coming to terms with the four white walls,
What is projection?
What are delusions?
What is truth and beauty?
What is it
we are grateful for?

Each step taken
One step forward
Two steps back
Honing
Moaning
Calling out into the night
Looking for the dawn
With words that
Pitter patter -
Tears that are wet for a moment
but evaporate on the floor -
Calling out
"come on, come on -
Give me some
At least one more time"

In this awkwardness
In these limitations
Of vocabulary
In the flatness of these
Rhythms and rhymes
While others create spaces
and lines
Pieces expanding to the skies
Maybe even a little bit more than
wise - touching the divine

I'm
Twisting and falling
Holding on
Coming to terms with who is who
and
What is what
Still gotta try to find
the true poetry
One more time
One more line
Gotta do it
Before I really die.
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