I’m damaged
I point to my wound
Yet cover my pain
I’m fine.

I outline my scars
Each with its own story
Yet I refuse to tell
I lie.

I reveal my trauma
Only to you
As I deceive those around me
With nothing but a smile.

I Melt my eyes
My flaws don’t exist
In a separate dimension
My vices thrive
There I am perfect
My envy runs rampant
My pride unchecked
And I eat to my heart's content
But my soul starves

There are times when I’d hold you
But your air was cold
You haven’t taken a breath in so long
My love
Are you my love,
Is this place in your heart for me?
Perhaps for her,
Perhaps no more,
Maybe let inside,
Renovations and furniture
Amendments and repairs,
You look to the future with hope,
Hope for us
Our children,
I hope too
That I am your plan,
You’re one as you are mine.

I refuse to sleep
I’m enslaved to my emotions
Hurting myself however I can
I’m tired of it all.
I stay in fear of my tears
The river flows endlessly
Out of respect for my blood
I stop the never ending bleed
I stained the carpet
Stained our love
Stained all that was sacred
With the sins of my past

Sometimes we heal,
Disingenuously,
How does one know,
If they're ok again,
Or it's a scar,
waiting to reopen,
unhealthy addictions,
I'm waiting to relapse,
Disasters in waiting,
So I numb the pain,
with substance,
One of the worst lies ever told,
this alcohol isn't clean.

love was made for two,
but not us two tonight

I take a moment
To thank
the authors authors of my soul
As everyone we meet,
Contributes at least a word,
Others have chapters
And some our main characters
In the story
That is my life
Only our mothers
Only my mother
Has been a part of my story
From the prologue
To the penultimate full stop
For that I thank her
For my story would be forever be incomplete
Without my mother’s love.