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sinderella Oct 2013
people think a lot, about me,
amuses yet destroys me.

you see my smile?
mm, not real.
it's a lie.
this is how I feel:

torn apart at the seams,
you can't help me,
permanently ****** up,
like the scars i bear.

my body looks good to you,
but it's disgusting to me,
fat, unattractive, hideous,
perfect is something,
that i will never be.

bruised, yes i am.
damaged? yes, madam.
broken, indeed.
worthless, yeah.
i should be dead.

tell me...

would you love me if i said
''shoot me with your gun,
make me hurt real bad''?

would you touch me,
if my scars were on display?
would you hold me,
and protect me?
would you?
because if you had scars,
i'd kiss them and you,
because you're my darling,
you're my boo, sweet you.

if i was the worst,
would you wait,
until the day,
i gave you,
my very best?

would you take a test?
to prove your love to me,
and set all of my thoughts,
and my doubt at ease?

would you prove to me,
that you're not like the rest,
that you wouldn't just leave,
because of a petty argument,
or a stupid disagreement?

would you stand by my side,
even if i was a mess?
if so, would you marry me?
please my love, say yes.
© sinderella.
sinderella Sep 2013
you consume my deepest,
darkest, sickest thoughts.
makes me wish i was dead,
an escape from my head.
migraines from overthinking,
memory loss from drinking,
bleeding knuckles from,
destroying walls.
destructive behavior,
because of a past lover,
a cold hearted mess,
one whom my attraction,
is growing quite intense.
her beauty is extraordinary,
why am i so hung up on,
someone who always hurt me,
not by accident, on purpose,
knocked me down so much,
on the hard pavement.
three years badly spent,
chasing a twisted girl,
who doesn't know,
how to control,
her mind or self,
instead liking to,
manipulate,
someone,
else.
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
that girl must love having it all
she must love being so beautiful
having the ability to control
she must love being better than me
in every aspect and all that
I will never be that
I'm just cheap
I'm just me
stupid, ugly
idiotic, unworthy
Basically sitting here, writing endless crap.
There's so much I have written tonight.
Not sure if I should post it all or not, we'll see.
Not usually like this, I try not to be like this.
Oh well, my heart wants to talk and I'll let it.
sinderella Sep 2013
my best girl friend
is beyond complicated
but i sorta like it
her cold yet sweet
way to communicate
takes my breath away
i am such a *******
Why do i like her cold heart?
her accent though is cute
sends shivers up and down
my back and my mind goes blank
like someone put me on mute
such a complicated friendship
but she is so **** pretty
like a drug, hard to quit
she does something to me
seems so wrong to dream
of all possible outcomes
nothing is what it seems
but in my heart, she lingers
she is the main role
in my little heart
but i am just a
part time role
in that heart
of hers
© sinderella.
sinderella Feb 2014
Troubles hanging on my shoulder
So **** ready to walk out the door
I am dying to feel alive and secure
Your hands felt my frustration
Your eyes saw my flaws
And my addictions
Traits and bad habits
I remember last night
It was fun yet light
Hit me like
A ton of bricks
A description of such
Your care makes me blush
I am insecure and you see it
You tell me to hold your hands
And let the worries slip
Into the nothing they should be
The best friend truly heals me
sinderella Nov 2013
rebel kid with good intentions
makes your heart beat
with anticipation

pale skin, brown eyes
sweet like cherry pie
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
I pop pills like they're candy
I drink until it's all fine & dandy
I read books until I lose myself
I write poetry until my head spins
I touch my skin and brush against my scars
I remind myself that it's not over yet
I remind myself as I look at the stars
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
Thoughts never stop wandering your mind, they leave you out of breath, out of sight, out of mind. There is too many thoughts in my head at any one time. Every second, another thought appears and creeps inside to lurk around. It can leave you feeling happy or blue, depends what your mind is thinking. The mind is dangerous, it knows which buttons to press to make you go insane. People say thoughts are like bullets waiting to meet your mind. Damage is sustained, most of the time. The mind is an interesting piece of us.
This was something I posted on another website earlier today. It's not supposed to rhyme or anything, it's just a piece of writing I typed up out of nowhere this morning. Quite proud of this one.
sinderella Jan 2014
in the worst possible state of mind
there's so much I regret
wish I could leave it
stuck in a maze
caught up
in a daze
****,
get me out
of this place
before all hell
breaks loose
and I accidentally
might break me
as well as you

I have this pain
in my chest
sleep never works
I can never rest
I can feel the strain
the colliding emotion
it's drowning me again

I can feel the pressure
it's hard to measure
is it this much?
or the opposite
of all this?

thought overload
feels like my heart
is going to explode

I have no function
new year but still
I'm broken
and lost
getting caught up
in too much ****

trying to find myself
but it's so rough
picking myself up
from the ground
that's already tough

feels like my heart
has had enough

I'm falling apart
at the seams
losing myself
like I do
in my nightmares
as well as my dreams

suffocating in thought
breaking as we speak
I'm losing it
as we talk
© sinderella.

I'm just not okay.
sinderella Sep 2013
three words
saved my life
they were yours
my love
© sinderella.

obsessed with ten word poems lately.
sinderella Sep 2013
we wear matching rings
as a sign of commitment
he's the guy of my dreams
my time was truly well spent
© sinderella.
sinderella Nov 2013
we torture ourselves
and our hurting hearts
to keep ******* friends
we go ******* insane
keeping relationships
from burning up in flames
and turning into dust
we lose our self
put it on the shelf
trying and trying
hoping to receive love
hoping to get back
all we willingly give
but we get none of it
leaves unbearing
feeling of guilt
feeling of disgust
for caring so much
about tricksters
the heartbreakers
the selfish ones
© sinderella.
sinderella Nov 2013
i feel hotter
on top
than i do
underneath
you
© sinderella.

10w.
sinderella Oct 2013
seeking treatment
is not an option
unless i want it
© sinderella.
sinderella Nov 2013
i love him
i love you
i love two

he's perfect
but then there's her
babydoll knows how to get it

i feel like a sinner
and to be honest
she deserves better
so does he
but still
he loves me
so does she
even though i
don't seem to
feel the same
but i do

oh god, help me
i'm in love with two
i'm not a player
i just don't know
who to choose

how anyone can
see my flaws
and still want
to see my all
i have no idea
they deserve better
both of them
since i'm
bad luck
for em'
© sinderella.
sinderella Nov 2013
i feel like the worst
that's why i act
like i'm the best
to hide the fear
inside my heart

i guess i understand
why people walk
i'd do the same
if i was
someone
else

i don't know
why i bother
being 'happy'
all it takes is
one song
one note
and i'm back
to square one

my heart is empty
despite all the love
inside of it
but i'll never give
all my love does
is cause damage

i feel stupid
maybe i am
i just, just
don't know
myself
© sinderella.
sinderella Feb 2014
Gonna use a new account from now on.
Message me for it, or something.
Take care, and stay safe.
sinderella Nov 2013
i'll always like you, baby
but you'll dislike me
cuz i'm a disgrace
and you're
heaven on earth
i'll always think of you
and the things we do
or once did
and pretend
it's us against
the world
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
I cannot hate
Who and what
I can't forget

I leave myself confused
Sometimes a little bruised
Marked by the past
Haunted until the end

It lingers on my skin
As I lay in bed
At night
An old poem of mine
sinderella Nov 2013
last night was good
but also somehow bad
the same pounding headaches
and anonymous hatred
and cruel messages
it gave me pain
a lot of it too
i wish things were simple
and that i was just little ol' me

this is not amusing anymore
i cannot l.o.l no more
this has gone too far
i'm trapped in fear

can't be anywhere
without fear of
strangers lurking
makes me sick
to my stomach
i can feel my insides
twisting and turning

i want to feel secure again
no more pain
no more anxiety
no more watching
over my shoulders
and no more
invasion of privacy

i want to be given
a bit of respect
but creeps
freak me out
now i'm drowning
in a river of sadness
and loss of sense

it's been years
of constant abuse
stop targeting me
you're making me
want to sleep
forever
and
ever
© sinderella.

tired of online stalkers.
sinderella Jan 2014
I regret every meal
I hate my every flaw
I despise how I feel
all I do is sleep and draw
nothing keeps me positive
what is this life I have lived?
© sinderella.

this mood is ******* me off.
sinderella Oct 2013
we're in this bitter battle
of broken feelings
that were only
trouble

i gave my life just
to see it burn
down to the ground
like a rotten house

honestly a matter of time
until i crumble and fall down
like a house of cards
i am unstable
because you are
what i call a devil
you're so cold
heart covered
in thick ice
how can you
breathe?

i still cannot believe
that we were once
on the same path

we had it all
but you let it
burn down
down, down
now my heart is frozen
from all the emptiness
broke me with time
perfect precision
like a knife you carve
right down on my heart
on my heart, my heart

i don't know where
or how to heal
from you
will I ever
pull through?

the oxygen
is very limited
vecause of you

(will i ever pull through?)
© sinderella.
sinderella Oct 2013
fall into my love
i won't drown you
your heart is safe
when it's with mine
i'll always protect you
like a good lover does
when she has a
precious gem
a wonderful man
who is a keeper
i am a dedicated
young, loving
wise woman
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
It's funny how you're happy for me
A little too late to be saying it, honey
You left me longing for you
For years on end
But now, I'm through
No more wasting time
Because now I know
That you never cared

Only when I'm with someone new
Do you approach
Asking for details
Like it's a big deal to you
It just brings me down
Because you never loved me
Otherwise you wouldn't have left
Left me on the cold hard ground
I was a lost girl but now I'm found

I found someone who treats me nice
Someone who assures me all the time
Someone who's there when I'm fine
Someone who's there when I am not
I can honestly say that
You're my worst ex
You failed the test
The test of love
I don't wish you luck
Nor the best
Because I was the best
That you took for granted
And you lost
Funny how exes care when it's already too late...well, ******* up, I don't need your care, or your ******* words.
sinderella Sep 2013
he's one in a million
makes life worth
the livin'
© sinderella.
sinderella Nov 2013
love creating depth
when i write
poetry
is written art
© sinderella.

10w
sinderella Sep 2013
you are the river
in which i drowned
you are the
broken record
in which i
played

you are the painting
in which i was mesmerized
you are the masterpiece
in which i loved
© sinderella.
sinderella Jan 2014
When I think of a drug
I think of your love
When I need touch
I think of our bodies
And how nice it feels
Whenever they are close
When I think of lips
I think of yours
And how well
They kiss mine
And get me lost
In a daze
A hell of a
Love spell
You're precious

— The End —