in the worst possible state of mind
there's so much I regret
wish I could leave it
stuck in a maze
caught up
in a daze
****,
get me out
of this place
before all hell
breaks loose
and I accidentally
might break me
as well as you

I have this pain
in my chest
sleep never works
I can never rest
I can feel the strain
the colliding emotion
it's drowning me again

I can feel the pressure
it's hard to measure
is it this much?
or the opposite
of all this?

thought overload
feels like my heart
is going to explode

I have no function
new year but still
I'm broken
and lost
getting caught up
in too much ****

trying to find myself
but it's so rough
picking myself up
from the ground
that's already tough

feels like my heart
has had enough

I'm falling apart
at the seams
losing myself
like I do
in my nightmares
as well as my dreams

suffocating in thought
breaking as we speak
I'm losing it
as we talk

my mind has it's ways
of playing with
my strings
with my heart
while ******* around
with my mind
leaves traces
of thoughts
I can't leave
behind


during this phase
I'm blinded
torn between
self-love and
self-hatred
leaves me feeling
so out of place

I'm feelin' it
hope you are too
hungry for love
but mostly you

I have a mouth
that I wanna use
to show off my skills
hoping to impress you

your love is sweet
good enough to eat
all I wanna do is please
like I do in my dreams

your love is something I missed
the feeling can't be described
the stars in the sky
ain't nothing
compared to
how you shine

please
always
be mine

temporary lust
permanent
thoughts

could this be love?

it's not just that
it's the warm breath
you feel upon your neck
it's the hot feeling
you feel going through
your blood-pumping heart
it's the aftermath
of a night of shame
pleasure and pain
all of the above

well, not shame
just heaven
of the time
you hold
each other
close

adrenaline rush
is always the worst
because it leaves you
addicted to the fix
it keeps you in place
seeking the passion
that makes your heart race
seeking the heaven
in which you have found
in your sweetheart's love

get out of my head
and into my bed
who even cares
about the regrets?
just for one night
just for one day
I wanna make it right
I wanna make this okay

I wanna say sorry
just please
******* hold me

I'm such a loser
my heart is burning
beyond compare
I let you down
I drown in shame
I drown in disgust
at my stupid self
you deserve the best
and I could never be that

so good luck in life
you'll be a beautiful bride
to the one you love
when that day comes

you'll be a success
in whatever you do
just because
you're amazing you
you'll never believe me
but I swear, it's ******* true

I love you
and,
I'm sorry.