I.  am.

told

that i come off as

a...
        sarcastic



                        *******

It's just that...
i.
have a sense of

humor...

There is no we in giving up. There's only what could have been and that glass bottle that held my tears.
I never remember him drinking them. Just that i had cried so much they were gone.


I slid into my body trying to barricade myself behind scar tissue. I had to stop them from bombarding me with silly questions and lies. "Like ummm yeah I'm alright"


I twirl my hair and twist. I close my eyes real tight and shake away the memory of his grip. I cant ever really escape the things ive seen because like they say once its over we cant UNsee

I wish i were dead but i also wish that i didn't wish that i were dead. You dig?
So now that we have giving up my mouth is tasteless.

I think its been for a while and i was just so caught up in emotion i couldn't tell but we... I mean me. I don't have much time for feelin things anymore.

I like to think that we all die. You do it yourself ir life does it for you... But maybe life lays out your instruments and shows you clips on how to end your suffering because that's her way of saying goodbye.

She lets them know they're going because she's cruel. She only gives some a clean break... A sudden stopping of the heart. But I dont get that privilege i guess.

Sadness is just a hole that you have to fill with distractions
If you don't it will get bigger. It will grow until you are just exactly what you tell yourself you are.
nothing

Not even a shell would remain
that would mean there is still a peice of you left inside pushed out

Sometimes I enjoy being sad though
I know that sounds insane but you see...

I'm not ever completely happy
But I can be completely sad and it feels good to be whole
I can dig myself a grave so deep when you look up you see a sky full of stars

I know that isn't right
I don't want to be right though
I want to eat everything and not at all in one moment

I stare at light bulbs and pretend that I am in the middle of my death
I try to play my life in my mind but when i press play it's like staring through glass

As clear as lipgloss smothered over lolipops and it makes as much sense as stripes paired with polka dots

I have always and will forever be the definition of oblivion

"the state of being forgotten, especially by the public."