You know I told Lana we broke up.

No she said you were ****** though. Astrid was sat
at her desk typing.

Yes I said I'm pretty ****** ******. I sat on the sofa
and hugged a cushion.

For ***** sake I thought you don't even care. Typing away
blissfully ignorant. I just ignored her after that.

You know what I thought I am allowed to be ******. Fo'real I have
every ******* reason to feel hurt by you. Especially after
what you did AGAIN! The typewriter stuck and you flipped the lid
to fix it. I just sat curled up in a ball.

I'm so done with your attitude and all your expectations.
I am allowed to need affection just as much as you do. The cat
jumped on my lap. As I pet his head he purred with
content. At least someone cares I whispered to him.

Just because I am forgiving too **** forgiving.

You finished the last lines. Rolled the paper off and
placed it next to the others. You then started another piece.

I can not believe Astrid is just sat here with nothing to say
to think you are the only one who matters.

And isn't it ******* good that my heart forgives easily I am always
saying that to Lana. Astrid's back is to me as I mutter
under my breath. She doesn't even notice.

I got up and went outside for a ***. The cat followed me as always
my faithful companion I thought. Ugh I was still ******.
I don't know how I trust you but I know I'll stay even though
I told Lana I was leaving  and I'll never tell you that I pinky promised
no more of your drama or your recklessness I thought.
As the cat circled me I blew out smoke rings one for each affair.

Baby I finished she called to me through the window. You wanna pour
us a drink. Of course I replied with a smile.

I was so *******!

  © Sia Jane

But he was the ghost of my dreams.

Pity the fool who does
not believe words can
change lives

And in that moment I believed in us
    we were in love,
        Ah God,

And how I dreamed of you & those long days in
love,
         love,
                  lovers from the start
                roaming so free, those stars,
                we were lunar lovers
                that night of the eclipse
                a full moon in the sky
                little did we know
                our ghosts of the past
                would haunt me haunt me

That's when I learnt the art of absence, Ah
    God is this love,
    God is this love,
       Ah Thee

And the death defying pull that missing
you,
         you,
                  could only ever know of
                  or fear to know of
                  but O I sensed a presence
                  and goosebumps formed on my skin
                  and an echo formed in my chest
                  and I felt connected to nothing
                  Ah me, I knew God of You
                  had dreams in store for me

So next time you walk beside me
My eyes wide open
Let it be known
    then
Embrace me tight
    light the path to Eden
    that day

In Your arms Lord God
     (forever)

  © Sia Jane

outlined in shades of reality
replete with eclipsed potential
the morning moon in revelation
unaware of her ageless touch

the language of time is floral
the color of anachronism is sage
so asymmetric in its beauty
so linear in its dictates

but her silhouette defies projection
refracting moments into mosaics
collaging aspirations into awareness
as dreams clarify into appreciation