maybe I should be optimistic
maybe if I said everything I thought instead of staring she wouldn't think I'm strange,
maybe not
maybe if I wrote her name a hundred more times I'd be able to start my homework
maybe if I think real hard she’ll telepathically hear my compliments
maybe if I threw paint on me before I left my house she’d notice me
maybe I'm good without her, Jesus never had a girl
maybe I'm not Jesus
maybe I should just walk up to her and kiss her like in the movies
maybe I'd get arrested
maybe I should quit with the maybe’s
maybe
maybe good guys do finish last
maybe I'm cool with that (seriously?)
maybe not
maybe I'll stop thinking about her
one day,
maybe

Spewing through my pores
are obviously vocal cords
I'm sweating cause don't you notice how heaven is getting bored.

-- And lord I know we children
but give us something appealing,
cause hell it just seems enticing
cause sin is clearly unwilling to,

release us from its wrath and be spiritual,
my spirits in this clash with this alcohol--
but I try not to break the law
by sleeping this poison off

I'm squeamish
believe me
I'm sick
and suffering from withdrawal,

cause all i see is Sandy Hook behind the walls
and in front of my iris
my silence becoming violent
exhaling louder than sirens
I'm sighing cause you be lying,

you say!

That you will save us
if we put nothing above you
but you taking our children
we made them to be just like you:

I'm sleep.

But if I wake up
will you incarnate a savior
cause jesus is highly needed
don't tell me its human nature!?

to pull the trigger,
peal off -- a mind set against the lord,
pop -- pop they let off  should i be packing a sawed-off

Na

But I'm speaking from my core
its obvious that I'm lost
I'm screaming but don't you notice how heaven choose to ignore.

And lord I see the irony
but I'm not even 60
why are you choosing to hire me
is it because I'm gifted, a voice?

I had no choice
cause the devil trying to recruit me rolls royce;
Versace starter kit it's not hard to convince me I swear--

he's talking salary
how the ******* will miss me
just put this ounce in your pocket
and listen Nina closely

"just trust me I got your back with Nina don't need a safety"
  
I'm loyal,
so should I start to bang
cause if you can't beat them stay
I need a hymn to sing as I hold the burner to my face--  

remember what the preacher say,
if your feeling lost, pray  
I never had a voice
Trayvone Martin never had a say

so is the prayer worth it,
will jesus even surface,
the creases on my faith is shaped like Eve and Adams serpent;

I'm lying to my friends
I'm not religious on purpose
I'm a servant to the truth
but seems the truth is out of service.

Damsel in this dress
is a damsel in distress she just using clothes to cover up the post traumatic stress,

but they barely cover anything--
her lady parts at best,
she attracts hood ****** but they barely give her thanks when she gobble up their ***** in her head is regret,

her past is her future so abuse is where she heads-- wears her heart on her sleeve so she empty in her chest

wearing make up just to make up for the confidence she lacks
  
and I admit I looked back when you walked by in that sun dress
I knew your name around the block bout how you ****** the meanest ****,

the greatest *** and I imagined if I knew the words for access words to claim your assets dinner did I have to invest-- from a glance,
 
and at a simple glance back,
to advance the fact still remain man plans to slay that,

she knows it; the shades on her face tells poem how bright lies jaded minds and money bust her open so who's the poet--
but we judge off her appearance,
 
and lose our morals,
when she throw it back aren't we daring; but aren't we caring making compliments and swearing,
smearing make up on our ugly truth
conceal,
conceal,
concealer,

you a bad *****,
another body is you willing?
but to her its more than *** its the embrace its not the feeling,

her innocence is safest and awakened when she feels it reminded of the time her boyfriend lied, as he took ***.

In these predicaments she says its innocent;
he loves me,

that's after broken rib number 5 she says; he loves me,

that's after **** kit the doctor swab;
he says I'm worthy,

that's after black eye number 9;
he says he trust me,
he trust me,
he trust me,
He trust me,
He Trust me,
He Trust Me,
HE TRUST ME,

and he never means to hurt me.

Problem is my novel is too common,
I'll never share his name cause his name is not the problem,

he don't deserve my shine or fortune to be acknowledged:

Ms. *******, control your hatred, stedfast
my mind is changing-- stop judging demons,
Contrast.

I'm still hung up
like:
I’m a shirt on a hanger
emotions on my sleeve
seems everything tailored
excuse me:
if I’m brief
or I’m sounding like a boxer but my curiosity
leads to me being awkward
so,
miss;
see.
I’m begging for your pardon
or at least a small chance to be a tulip in your
garden
a chance to be a stand out from all the grass that
gets you bothered or a chance at second glance the
solution to your problem

I wasn't always good with words
until I learn they can be manipulated
stripped for parts,
treated,
reworded and planted as if sod,
sound the same,
rebuilt like a cars:
thesauruses are essentially junk yards,
they allow you to play tennis with your mind
they can replace signs,
are intimidated by the weak
yet rejoiced by the blind,
and --
in the end
I know words can do more than just rhyme
they chime in during chimes and relate simple parking tickets
to fines,
politicians use them as smoke screens
with words
I can metaphorically call them ninja’s
the way they evade questions and attack with their sharp tongues
so I won
well -- I'm winning the battle with words,
just know I can curse you now
without saying a curse

words are exhausting
though actions have much more endurance
there's no way I could show my stamina if I never see you
unfortunate
but if given the opportunity
given you're not completely tired of my talk
I'd have the courage to share my happiness
you see
words are living things too
they're capable of breathing life into an absent
feeling
truth
accept these last few
as I showcase my lungs in a different manner:
my vitality