The temple bell
Silently calls my soul
Echoes, all over the deep forest
In prayers of silent lotus song
Temple
Waits
Buddha too
As the pond whispers
From the surface calm

Alone in the deep forest,
I am prostrate in devotion
And search
Before your shore's
Of love, life and living
Laboriously moving, in every steps of sigh,
Pregnant with leaves, roots and
Residual karmic earth
-Lotus pond in deep in thought-

Wondering why
The flowers have to wither and fall
Before fruits can burst forth; in living
Why love and loss results, only in the end,
An acceptance,
Cowering in depths of empty soul?
Why
Life regains calm,
Only, after
It has flowered through pain
And bonds?

Why
Lotus can only flower
After breaking through
-The sludge of senses,
In the depths of love
From the depths of pond
The laughing Buddha
Smiles
With laughter in His heart

Pond, all alone, in the darkness of night
Softly sighs
Goes back to living
On the temple’s Shore

Yet!
The silent Buddha
Is not so silent, you see
Just listen with laughter in your heart
The lotuses do sing
The beautiful life's love song

A bell tolls
Friends join in to walk
With me to the end of the path
Carrying on heavy shoulders,
All that last journey, and
All that was not said
And all that silences
Which will echo forever in our hearts.

Some where
Silence waits for the desert spaces
To speak up
And break our lives
Into small grains of sand
Which pours within the Hour Glass
Of our togetherness

Some where - a blast-off to distant stars
In the cloud of dust
In the drum beats of
Shiva's Tandav* dance.

Some where, Love alone
Worships the intensity of the togetherness
Or
Truthfulness of belongingness.
Or
Remains
A mute spectator to the Tandav* of emotions

Silence some time does sound
In, Our lives
And
A bell tolls forever
Calling in lost soul
Or soul mates
To be in the valley of lost flower stars.
_________
Tandav is the eternal dance of Lord Shiva, a dance of destruction as well as creation...

Moment by moment
Life drips out
And empties the soul
Of living

Full and contented
Living is not meant to be
Each moment passes by
Bringing its own emptying-ness
Scouring another few bits of happiness
To dump it in the trash of memories
And experiences
To live on

While life is being wasted
On living
In and out of belongingness

An angel told me yesterday
To live
One has to die first
And I did


Now is this life
Where my thoughts corrode
My innerself
And mind takes over
My Senses
And finds no solace
The Chaos balancing two opposites
Continues to lives in past
Looks upto future
But never stays
In
The present


Is this life
Where all one does
Is to pay for
Past
Karma as they call
While one does not even know
How much balance one still has
To pay


How can I live my life
When
Whenever I ask the angels
They let me die
Another death.

The blanket I wear on all occasions
Is gathering patches of pain by day
And every night when I throw it off
It moves on from the night sky to dawn
Gathering more patches of pain.

Some times stars
Sprinkle their desires on the rough pattern
That my blanket carries
Some times
Dawn, leave traces of dew drops
In the wild passionate love
That the night makes in the cosmic fabric.

Some times, the Sun disowns the love
It has for night and its stars
Some times, love does not even know
when its lost in the passions of physical pounding,
Loving, cries being merged on a negative staff.
Some times loving, the being
Does not know whether its an insect
Or a butterfly, thats lost among the lotus pond.

How it feels
When each strands that held us together
Starts breaking.
One by one
With every twang, another strand looses
Its bonding with the rest of us

One by one
Each one breaks away
From the memories
The touch
And the belongingness
Like some one plucking
Petal by petal
Loves me, Loves me not
While the flower, in the process
Dies a slow death.

Wish you were here
Holding unto my arms
A promise of loved future
and a dying breath
How it feels to lie down slowly
In the loneliness
Of timeless
Fading depths.

Sands of times run out, grain by grain

From our clasped fingers and shaking hands.

It feels so lonely - The softness of dying breath.

The laughing Buddha
Mocks every one
But the one with laughter in heart

The silent Buddha
Is not so silent, you see
Just listen from heart

The temple bell
Silently called my soul
Echoes in my prayers

Lotus pond
Waits silently
Petals too

River meanders
In deep forest, Slowly
Pregnant with leaves, roots and earth

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

Waiting for the sun to move up more
Lights to fall in full force
On the day
I take my few steps
On worn out path of office goers.

As the life moves on
In the rustle of traffic Jams
Honking of cars
The roads have grown roots
Along with tree lined path

A bright smile
Stretches across in yellow line
A line of school kids
Walk the Zebra cross
in front of my large smile

A new day
Flowering
Traffic Light by traffic lights
As the office blocks looms large
My thoughts reach out to hold hands

A warmness
Thats spread on the bed
A passion that is fully cupped in
Palms
A hot liquid flows in the hug
And bit by bit
You are spooned in love
_____
@Shashi 27th April, 2010

The touch that lingers
Like phantoms in my mind
The feelings
Sieves out of passionate warmth
Hold me closer
Than your body scent
That lives within my thoughts

The more passionate - thoughts
Coils my mind all around
The more pain,
Breaks out in my heart
Like the grip of your slender legs
Squeezes out pleasure
Till
My last drops

How can I hold you more firmly?
In my thoughts
When your passions
Flutter with winds
A storm that comes along,
Leaving behind
Just some shattered dreams

Nine is divine
One is one
Humbled in collective pain
We stand in silence
while the world calls 911

There is a very thin line
Between love and lust
Between sea and sky
Between me and you

Such a fine line
That I can see
Touch it from
Here
Enclosed in the high rise monster
(That mostly dot the sea face, all around the sea in Mumbai)
reaching out to be.

From here
-Where silence is whispering to the sea
Waves percolating through my window
Where darkness of my ****** thoughts
Seep in through the night's gateway
A window with three glass frames
Barred, framed and up-curtained
Unveiled and naked.
From here I see it all bared


I can actually reach out
And separate them
The love and the lust
The entangled Sea with the sky
Create a divide between them
With my desire
To BE

Some times I just want to BE
Some times Sea in all its thrashing about
With waves and tsunami's just want to BE too
Some times the sky
With its dark cloud and their silver linings
Just wanna BE, you see?

Some times all of us want to
Reach out
Separate love from lust
And desire just to BE
Just to BE in love
Pure, undiluted, undefined, unnamed
Unbinding, untagged
Just Love,
LOVE,
I Love to BE

The roughness etched on the waves
Like scratches of nails on my Face
The drops leave the foaming sea
Like the sweat drops from my body

To merge in your passion
And in rhythmic creation
Your sighs
And cries, meet
The lashings of the waves
on the beach, like me

And
then the cloudburst
and I am still wet

Rain, Rain
Rain lust again
Brings out the desires
Of wet drops
Slithering down the spine
Touching the crevices
Of passion

Easing out the worst
From the ***** shell
Digging out the best
Of tarnished soul

Touch me with drops
Of your love
In mouth full of salivating lust
A touch that desires
The shortest distance
Betwen my soul to yours
Lips to lips
While tongue of sinful pleasures
Gropes in the darkness of enclosed mouth
Blindness of our souls

Rain Rain
Wash out the lust in me
And cleanse my soul
With desireless
Wetness
Between entwined legs
Between writhing souls
Fighting for a space
In the chaos
That is mind, my soul mate.

The whole pain
Precipitated from the night sky
In the morning rain
Chiding me for love exposed
Now lying wasted in the drenched soil
Uncared and little

How I love?
A question that needs answer
Only to those who don't
And it etches like
A newly acquired scab
I just don’t know
How?

What I know
Is this feeling in me
Growing explosively silent by each space
You put in between
It brought me down on my knees
Feeling the greatness that was
To smallness that is
Now

Meanwhile the Rain
Continue lashing my car windows
Feels like high speed punishment cell
And
Love lashes within
Whipping up a storm

And I call you up
And say "how lovely is the weather
Around,
Wake Up"

The sound keep melting in me
The sound of silence
The sound of conch
The sound of devotees
Dancing in circle
Till I was no longer me


I swirled with my hand outstretched
Like the old mystic's and Sufi's
Floated in the group
Went high and higher in thoughts
and then merged
In the overall consciousness
Of you and of me
In the Universe
That got small enough to be with in me
And the circle of dance.

She took me in her arms
and went away to the stars
A long silver thread followed
From the manifestations
Of Her
Which was still dancing down in the circular group
Singers still singing your songs


I woke up in the dew
That was hanging at the grass blade
Till sun knocked
With morning rays
And I woke in your love
Lying still among the chants.
________
@Shashi 2005
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya

The sound reaching out to me from the sea
Is not what I desire
Or even want to hear
But still it reaches out to me
Through the open window
Of the high rise building, where I am enclosed in
And trying to live and close
But still the Window remains
A window out to the sea
That I can not close.

Even if I try hard or desire harder
As
The window glass that I broke
The other night
In frenzy of what remains of my desires
Unbroken, unfulfilled.
In the stupor of alcohol induced passion
And the call of the stormy night

The window remains just a window
Nothing more and a lot less
Glassless, desire less and view less
To the open world.

Still I didn't hear the cry
Or the sound of waves
Pounding on the beach, few hundred yards away
Still I let my heart break into pieces
On the breakwater
That walks out
Few hundred yards deeper into the deep sea
And I see
The waves breaking against it
A break out from the prisons of earth
Out to the sea
Try as hard as waves might
Could not stop breakwater from moving in depth
And deeper still

Then Why still
All the time the Sea calls me?

Is it free from stopping, bonding and holding

The Breakwater free from breaking me?
Does it want me to come
Merge in her depths
Just like the path that sinks in her
After few meters of walking along, with me.

Or is it just a sign - an omen
Of my solitude
All alone
Like the sea
Even though Rivers, clouds and the horizon
Sink into her depths and be within.


Why? Why?
She is not with me, now
When she was with me
Long lives ago
("Long time" if you will!)
And she is not coming back to sink
Into my depths of desires, needs
Or in my intense pleasure
Or, my darling,
My watery grave with me.
_____

Some of my daily verses on twitter....

I am shedding memories
Like leaves in autumn
Did I loose you, in between my thoughts?

The brook flowing
Over the round pebbles and soft drops
Sound of music running in my heart

FAR, FAR AWAY
Lips interlocked
Hearts entangled
Entwined, we stay in our own desert spaces, alone

I dream of her
She dreams of togetherness
I hope its me

NEW DAWN
Night cap
Morning dew
I am having a hang over between the two.

The tree walks out of a dream, yawning
Rakes up the sky
Clouds break into a rain dance

Morning mist filters the rays
Flower filters the rain
A heart lives in the happiness of deep blue sea
How pure the sun rise can be

THE NEW DAY
The morning escaped
From the dark clutches of Lonely night
A sun rise in the end.

LOVE DAWNS
After exhausting night
Moon slips back into the dream part II
And sun walks out
Tiptoeing naked on the dew

THE SEED IS PLANTED
The morning dew drops
Settle softly on the lips
Of evening star, love flowers

The moments of our togetherness
Last night, got pregnant with love
It rained in the morning
And I woke up - Wet

LOVERS
Sea shore and waves
Pulsating rhythm - high and low
An endless coming together

Between me and the sky
Sea sets its foot down
In rain

Small brush with feelings
Takes a long time to fade and dry,
On the wet lips or on the memories of life

She throws her leg over me
Unwrapping
Dreams in the morning

Fresh lime day
****** Mary Sunset
Lets paint the town, tonight, red

  
The music notes from the flute
Lingers in the feelings
Love dance and the Bamboo shoot

The ringing bell echoes in my mind
The scent of incense stick lingers in my heart
Sun rise hangs a happy day in front
____
Om Namah Shivaya

Pond is agitated
Lost its calm
My thoughts are no skipping stone

Pond waits for ripples to calm down
Before reflecting the dark clouds of pain
Back to the bleeding sky

Sitting by the river
Drawing dreams with bleeding fingers
Memories escape riding those ripples

Your thoughts transform
From heart to eyes
Pearls in my lap

The least you can do
Is to let my existence fade peacefully
Soul mate, everything else is already dead

Each day brings me
Hope
Always an imposter
________
@Shashi 25th Oct - 31st Oct, 2010

She reached out, as I poured a bleeding heart on paper
"Don't ever write to me", with a ****
Black letters, scatter all over my green love


I slept, dreaming of animal cries
Seeds engaged in birthing
Woke up with a cosmic tree growing all over a belly

  
Desert spaces in my heart, too heavy to
drown in the sea, on the wings of my longing
So I walked and did

Love showers
Happiness, togetherness, Bonds
And Sorrow


As the sun rushes into the night
The sea reaches out hold him
In depths of her love

___
Everyday and Night I write one verse and share with my friends and here is few of them... I hope you will enjoy them.

Om Namah Shivaya

Anchored in Karma,
Chained to the past
Life tries to break free
From darkness that is lost

Among memories that were forgotten
Among things that were not done
Among friends that were not made
Among roads that were not ...taken
Among choices that were made
And choices that were not.

Like a woman, Sea gathered her skirt

The waves moved away from the shore

And I thought she will fly


Some followed her on the open sea bed

Lured as she tentatively revealed her naked thighs

and then she unleashed her fury


A big wall of rage swept across her naked terror

A few survived the surge but then many died inside

Engulfed in her passionate cries


Few days later, I found a little girl curled up on the beach

Small hands holding some sea shells

as waves lapped her dead smile....
________
The villagers told us that before the waves hit, the sea receded almost 100 mts into the sea self and then came up....

She walked out
In her small tottering steps
From behind the wall
Looked at me and smiled
She actually remembered me, my darling
Even after so many months,
After so many miles away from her thoughts.

Her hug is like a long lost love
Her smile is as fresh as dew drops
And she hangs on to me like the early morning rays
From the rain drenched tree tops
And I could not hold her attention any longer
And she moves on to her
New plays and new sights and sounds.

Her eyes catch up suddenly
The pen in my pocket
The twinkle in her eyes
Also catch up the mouth freshener
That I got in the aircraft.
Another play in the making
And she just wraps me around her fingers
And I get lost in her love
And her hugs
Again and again
___
Anumeha is my younger brothers 1 year old daughter, who I met her after many months, that day.

Its sad
To know that some one is burning bridges
Even before my heart could smell
The acrid smoke of neglect
The bridge is already burnt down
While the water passes under it.

Heart tries hard to keep
The fire going on in heart
Seeing her face, turned away
In the flicker of light
In the bits of food, that one feeds to
One's dying love, but fails at last.

Made of blood, as foolish as it sounds;
Letters Drop, oozing out from a squeezed heart
Her name is cast again and again
On the sands of time
And waves upon waves
Sea wipes the effort, in vain, again and again

Why do I write
Why do I write on the sands
As I know it will be wiped out
In no time, but still I do
As I know she is oriented
Towards Sea - the sea of humanity and of love

I still have not burned my bridges...

It pained to know
That I am dead
I searched within
For the prana and pulse
It was dead too.


But why did it pain?
When senses were dead too
And who is this talking about it now?
Me?
Who is dead!


Or is it me
The unknown
The unraveled
The one that can never be dead
Unattached, untouched and unscathed

The sand slipped out of my hands
Bit by bit
Holding on to you
Feels like
A heart in closed fist
It’s paining
More, if I let it go…


Dreams came crashing down
On all sides
While silence prevailed
In the shatters
I grew weak
Bit by bit
In my love

Woke up in the morning
Got ready to dress
Put on the shoes that you loved
Got out the shirt you liked
Went on hanging around the eating place
That holds your memories
Bit by bit

And I lost my appetite
And you
Just empty spaces
Drained, Bit by memory bit
And I lost my self too

I slept, dreaming of animal cries
Seeds engaged in birthing
Woke up with a cosmic tree growing all over belly

One by one
All desires
Are stripped
Plucked one by one
From the roots to the sprouting leaves
And leave the imposter hope
naked.
Where are you, I am lost in wishes
Soft, and neutral self.

When memories die out...
When passions run dry

When the dreams lay shattered on the sands of time

When the Hope
Becomes nothing but
An Imposter

Then my dear, old is
Time to lay down your arms
Bury yourself
Under 6 feet of earth
And lie down and die

So the Sun moved on beyond horizon
But the bright shadow of Love
Still clings on to me
Long after the setting Sun


Yes, I agree
The light moved on
From Sun Rise to Sun Set
Bound by desires and duties to perform
Some times to the birth of a life
Some times
End of another


But Some times ....
Some desires remains
Attached to you
Like a Shadow
Not willing to cast you away
Tattoed to your soul
Like a bright sun spot
Willing to move on with your soul
Till the end of the life...
Willing to move on ... with you

Some times, love remains eternal within you
Even when the life moves on.

Die another Death
____
Inside you
I die thousand deaths
Every time I don’t find you in my thoughts.
My love,
I spread myself in whole of the sky
Stake me with tall deodar trees
And I die thousand deaths

Inside me, there is a person
Willing to lie
To let you know that I am what I am
But not what I can be
And cry.
And you know my love
That person is not me
But I suspect its you
In my heart who is willing to die

To let me live
A thousand lives
Alone and hurt
Bleeding and blunt
No emotions and no feelings
Just a stone statue,
Where we loved
That we loved
That first day
And that we hugged
  
Why?
Why it has to be spread so thin
Thick in our love
That it has become so transparent
It hides nothing
It holds nothing
It does not even promise an eternity
But just our hurt feeling
And missed chances to be one

Why my love
You are so far away
To be loved
Even when you are just sleeping next to me
Why….?

_______

Life in little steps of love
Falling, leaving, goodbyes and then denial
Happiness bleeds in little steps

You really know what love is
When you loose her
In few words

She was half playing
The game of love
But I lost completely

Too intense
Too insufficient
Loving has been painful to me

Her voice over phone
Simple, sweet and friendly
Isolates my love

The thin line of longing
That ties us
Cut me apart

Some words are so effective
Before you realise
They **** the happiness out of life

Your burden of being the only thing
That makes me happy
Is killing me softly

Broken heart beats silently
Fears to wake up mind
See, I told you so!

Can not say, what is harder
Breaking Heart or
Heart Break
__
@Shashi
25th Oct - 31st Oct 2010

Holding your thoughts in my heart
Emotions flutter like the butterflies
Moving from one feeling to another
I feel your electric surge in my soul

Like a exploding warmth
Like an enlightenment exprienced
Like the skipped beating of heart
Your smile makes me smile, sadly

I move away from you
Begin to walk - to the raging sea
Fenced by the lonely stars
Moon envelops the darkness of the night


You are looking so lovely
As you drift apart
That I could not feel, how painful it would be
To continously hold you in my heart

After you have gone.

Two small verses about nature.
_
Sunset
Sets the day
And rest
_

Between me and sky
Sea sets its foot down
In rain

The overcast sky hung over

Opperessing my soul

I walked across raging sea

To reach out

And shake the rains free

Between my mind and heart...
______

The tremors that my hand felt

From her fingers
Travelled to the heart
Within my smile
Holding her silence within
My lips
I felt my love
Flutter in her Arms

"Wait - hold me before you leave"
Hung somewhere between my mind
And  her Heart
___

Life's magical moments
Lets you play with the fire again
And singe
Again and again
And let's you... Ask
Why?

Maybe
To let you know
That there is no way
If one leaves an empty space
That can not be filled
Drop by drop
Moment by moment
Something will....
Some one will....
May be on a different plane?

And some emotions gets stretched
Taut strings
Across the lonely guitar
Tighter
To play the life's note
As
One by one
Each string breaks
Raising a melodious song
To reverbrate in the future
Thrashing on some threshold

May be there will not be any more notes left
To play any more
May be
The notes will play
Alone again
Naturally.